Justice League #49

I'm fairly certain there's a gay blowjob joke somewhere on this cover.

The Review or Whatever!
I've currently been rereading The Boomer Bible straight through because it's a fantastic book. I always forget to add it to the list of my favorite books and yet it's been a solid favorite since sometime in the early to mid nineties. It's a book that I have to keep buying because I always wind up giving away my personal copy because I love it so much and want to pass on that love to other people. As I reread it this time, I'm writing an essay on it. Here's a bit about how I describe it:

I can think of no other book that presents itself in such a cynical, offensive, poorly written, overly ambitious way while also being extremely poignant, full of heart, written to a staggeringly precise degree, and secretly as hopeful a story as was ever written. No other work I know makes full use of the freedom of speech by turning the most insultingly offensive moments into blindingly stunning bits of truth that slap the reader across the face, bringing tears to their eyes. I can think of no other book that has made me cry more often, and more quickly--often going from laughing out loud to near sobbing in the space of a few lines--through the subversive use of language and the timing of a comedic genius.

I can't recommend any book more highly than The Boomer Bible.

Justice League, on the other hand, I can only recommend if you enjoy long-winded stories that never end. At least The Boomer Bible chops up its long-windedness into several books and hundreds of easy-to-read chapters!

Currently in The Darkseid War, Darkseid has been dead for like one hundred issues and specials. But never fear! Lex Luthor has become the new Darkseid and Grail is waiting in the wings to become the new, permanent Darkseid of the Rebirth Generation! Probably. But the story of the Anti-Monitor's plan for Earth now that he's killed Darkseid will have to wait because the current most important thing happening in this story is the part where Superwoman is about to give birth to her superbaby.

This discussion is so important that everybody begins speaking like Recliner Batman.

While Geoff Johns writes just enough to hint at the father of Superwoman's baby instead of coming right out and telling the readers--because who needs to keep readers interested by revealing information rather than keeping them interested by withholding it, amirite?!--the Justice League battle the Anti-Monitor. That also will probably just drag on with neither side gaining the upper hand until Johns is ready to end this story ten years from now.

Superman expels his Apokolips energy so at least that bit is resolved. Now The Flash just needs to stop being death, Batman needs to stand up, and Lex Luthor needs to get his power stolen from him by Grail so that everything can nearly get back to normal. I think all of the things that really made this story interesting have already happened. I'm not really looking forward to its resolution. Hopefully Johns will surprise me. Will it be the catalyst for Rebirth?

Grail, Myrina, her griffon, and Steve Trevor with a mystic priapism arrive to really fucking clutter up the battlefield. I think Superwoman's baby is going to get stepped on if she insists on delivering it here.

Of course it hurts! You're trying to push it through your pants!

The baby is born and Superwoman announces in a splash page that it's a boy and then everybody forgets about it and its importance to the battle because Mystic Priapism Steve Trevor unleashes his pent-up sexual frustrations all over Mobius's chest, face, and hair. Mobius, of course, dies. Just like that. He kills Darkseid. He threatens the universe. He easily deflects every attack from Lex and the Justice League. And then Steve Trevor who gained Ultimate Power by kissing Grail arrives and saves the Omniverse. Of course now he's going to kill everybody else too because he's Grail's puppet and she seems to have forgotten that she was created to kill Darkseid (or the Anti-Monitor? I don't remember) and not to kill everything forever.

The best part of the comic is how the last page says "To be concluded!" And then: REBIRTH!