The Movement #7

I've already forgotten the real names of The Graveyard Faction. They'll always be Butterface, Assholster, Hester Prynne, and Emo Pigpen to me.

I do remember Arson's name because it struck me as fairly boring. I wonder if his name was a mishear? His parents probably looked proudly on him at high school graduation as they clasped their hands, looked each other deeply in the eyes, and sighed, "Our son." Their son heard it as "Arson" and a flaming light bulb appeared over his head as he realized he knew what he wanted to study in college: Microbiology! Also, maybe he'd start burning buildings down as a hobby, or part-time job if he could find the work. I'm certain Craigslist: Coral City has a Sketchy Career Opportunities section.

Last issue, Mouse had been left strung up on a lamppost (that's why his face is crossed out!) and Tremor had let the corrupt cops skip out on their mock trial. The Cornea Killer (I was having trouble remembering his name because "serial killer" kept making me think of cornflakes and I just knew Cornflake Killer couldn't possibly be the guy's name even if Gail Simone is writing this) was revealed to be the son of Man Cannon, the corrupt corruptician running things in Coral City. Vengeance Moth had a moment where she flipped the fuck out but we still didn't really get to see her powers. And Burden was being told more lies about himself. But it's okay because this time the lies were to help him get over the lies that were causing him so much pain!

It's easy to follow an Indigo trail in Coral City since most of the city is orange, yellow, and red.

Burden looks like he's having a really pleasant time tied to the bed. I think The Movement accidentally found his kink.

Virtue takes off to help out with Mouse, leaving Vengeance Moth to contemplate her super powers: muscular dystrophy and not doing drugs. Hmm, maybe those are just facts about her. Her super power is still a mystery! But she's still trying to foist fruit snacks on everyone. What are in those things?

Her favorite fruit snack flavor? Slightly Aroused Uncircumcised Penis.

Meanwhile, Mouse's dying words are, "Tremor, I want to pet your fur." Who doesn't? But is that really a fitting epitaph? Maybe if your tombstone was going to be set up in a skeezy bar so it can hit on people. I woke up a few weeks ago with most of my own epitaph already formed in my head! It'll take a gigantic hunk of marble to inscribe it all onto though because it's this long (also, this is it):

I am here. You are there. So many others inbetween. In all the infinite vastness of time and space, how highly improbable that we should ever have met. It seems beyond all bounds of decency that we should fight, against the very will of the universe that we should treat each other poorly, truly the antithesis of reason that we should make each other miserable. We should laugh and we should embrace and we should grow more familiar with each other's oddities and differences and the rare and brief moments where we seem to have been created one for the other. And yet we were not which only makes our brief liaison in the unending bounds of time and space even more unlikely. We owe it to chance and improbability and random, stupid luck to be kind to each other.

I know I already put this in one of my commentaries! Don't think I won't be putting it in future ones either! If you want to read highly original works of art, this blog isn't it! This place is where I write down my thoughts and then create more thoughts that are derivative of the original thoughts and then repeat myself and create more derivative thoughts based on the stuff I've repeated several times over again. It's so much easier to come up with material that way!

Nearby Mouse's Lamppost, The Graveyard Faction are hiding in an alleyway waiting for Virtue to arrive. It looks like Hester Prynne can follow emotional trails just like Virtue can because The Graveyard Faction now plans to follow Virtue's backwash back to The Movement's hideout where Vengeance Moth was left alone with Redlance, Suntop, Ember, and the other Elf children.

Oh! Oh! I know a good ritual for that!

But before Vengeance Moth can help Burden with his problem, Suntop notices something isn't quite right with the tunnels.

Earlier Vengeance Moth mentioned how she doesn't like to fight. So she really is taking Redlance's part in defending the homestead.

Maybe Vengeance Moth has a really sweet power that can be used for violence but she hates to have to resort to that. That's why she chose such an in-your-face name. So she doesn't have to get in your face at all.

While Vengeance Moth prepares to protect the sanctuary against the Graveyard Faction, Katharsis rushes Mouse to a hospital probably filled with cops since they're all hanging about listening to Toothless Joe tell his tale of survival horror. He's trying to get the cops to raid The Movement's hideout before they have time to bolster their defences. Shut up, Spell Check! That's a completely acceptable way to spell "defense" if you don't mind living in a grey and gray limbo between American English and British English!

She can also shoot forth little green moths to cut and slice and eat cotton drapes. I wonder if she can do moths in other spectrum colours? I just typed that to piss off Spell Check some more. Stupid bloody wanker.

Oh yeah! I knew I liked Butterface's actual name: Monster Baby. I'm not sure if my fake name for her or her real name is more offensive. Probably my fake name since she didn't choose to be called that!

Back at the hospital, Mouse is really fucked up. He probably should have told his team, before he wound up in a coma, that he has regenerative powers but they only work when he's doing some quality heavy petting. Get this boy a pubic area stat!

Officer Yee has decided to stand alone against Toothless Joe and the other corrupt cops to keep them from going back and killing civilians. The Police Chief delivers some files on the Graveyard Faction to Virtue so that maybe The Movement will stand a chance against Man Cannon's super powered mercenaries whom the Police Chief obviously doesn't want on his turf. And back at headquarters, Burden is the only chance left to keep everybody safe. Not exorcised, sin-free little Christopher with the sexytime feelings. Crazy, epistolary, sin-filled, Mama's Boy Burden.

I know Vengeance Moth is manipulating him to save people, but it's really the right thing to do. He can't be free of his problems while living a different lie which is why I especially like this because it's reminiscent of Mulan. Christopher's problems can't be beaten if he's living a lie. He must deal with his demons while being true to himself. So get back on the Devil Wagon, bitch!

And then I turn the page and HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Burden's demon form does not disappoint. It's like a cross between a dinosaur and a pegasus and a satyr that didn't heed the warning about eating raw seafood and ingested a bunch of Octopus eggs which have finally hatched. He probably smells really, really badly as well. I wonder what his mother would say?

The Movement #7 Rating: +2 Ranking. Compared to some of DC's other twenty page comic books, this one packs in a lot more story. Usually with this many scene changes, a comic book can feel like it has barely moved ahead in the plot. But Gail Simone has some pretty tight control over her story telling abilities here. She probably doesn't have to worry too much about editors mucking around with her script ideas either since these characters are either brand new or peripheral to the rest of the DC Universe. And it's fun while still managing serious themes!