Birds of Prey #25

Please let this give a reason for The Birds of Prey to exist! This team needs some serious direction!

I admit that I might have missed the reason for the Birds of Prey forming a team because this comic book was so confusing back when Duane Swierczynski was writing it. The only thing I remember from that era is how to spell "Swierczynski." But it seemed like Black Canary was just sitting around with this super power stuck in her gullet so she felt like she needed to round up some people to make it worthwhile. But seeing as how this is Zero Year, perhaps it'll fill in the gaps between Team 7 and Black Canary teaming up with Starling.

Oh! Didn't she meet Starling while working undercover at the Iceberg Casino? Or was that Batgirl?! Even if that is a true memory and not some random garbage that my mind made up, it still doesn't help me understand why Black Canary formed the Birds of Prey. Maybe it began as a support group for women who recently lost their significant others? Was Starling also dealing with a close personal loss? She must drink for some reason! Even if that reason is just to get drunk.

Zero Year begins with Dinah Drake defending her local Dojo from the Cobra Khans. Dinah beats the crap out of the Cobra Khans and that's that. They'll be sure to leave her alone now and not firebomb her Dojo at all! Now she can just relax and have a flashback to her time as a young street rat just trying to survive.

It's a trap!

The man trapping her is Desmond Lamar, the previous Sensei of the Dojo she now runs. He gave her a warm place to sleep in exchange for keeping the Dojo clean. Dinah learns martial arts and prayer and housekeeping and balancing a budget under Desmond's care. But then he gets brain cancer and dies and she's left to run the Dojo all on her own.

After all the flashbacking is done, Dinah finds herself in the middle of the blackout stuck on a subway. She organizes everyone so that they can help those wounded when the subway came to a sudden halt. Meanwhile, a familiar face looks on:

It's the super wise old blind woman! Except she's not blind yet. So she's probably not all that wise yet either. Give her a few more years and a few more cataracts.

Meanwhile, Captain Sideburns is busy taking orders from Computer Chip Head. Which means Captain Sideburns (Lynch, remember?) isn't currently leading Team 7. Perhaps this is Team 3! Or Alpha Team since that's what he calls it! Whatever the case, it looks like Dinah is going to impress somebody at an impromptu job interview! The someone is Lynch and the job interview is her kicking ass saving Ye!

Dinah Drake has returned to clean her Dojo during the blackout when looters begin trashing her neighborhood. I hate to be the one to point it out, but the looters all have dark skin tones. It might, in fact, be the most brown people I've seen ever depicted in Gotham. And the stores they're looting? Run by Koreans. And who's there to save the day? The white girl. But wait! It gets even more stereotypical still!

Ninjas! Fucking par for the course. Just like a Spike Lee Joint. Or is this more Woody Allen? No, no! I know who I'm thinking of! Quentin Tarantino!

Batwoman wanted so badly to bust some looter's heads, why didn't she decide to patrol the stereotypical poverty-stricken neighborhood that Black Canary lives in? Oh, that's right. Because most of Gotham is poverty stricken. I guess Kate Kane just wasn't familiar with the areas most likely to have people ransacking electronics stores and Koren groceries.

Dinah Drake has found John Lynch's man, Ye, who passes along to her the secret microfilm just before he dies. Hmm. I thought saving Ye was going to be her big kickass interview move seeing as how her resume only includes dumpster diving, stealing pizza, and sweeping floors.

Dinah puts up a pretty entertaining fight against the ninjas as she tries to evade them for the next few hours. I particularly like when she kicked the one down the stairs while swinging on the handrails and then just let go, flying down the stairs to land on her knees on his chest. That was a pretty good move! But eventually, there are just too many ninjas. Isn't that always the way in comic books? I mean, historically (and by historically, I mean my knowledge of pop culture and Kung Fu movies with ninjas in them), ninjas work alone. But in comic books? If there's one, there's hundreds. You'd think anybody could become a ninja!

Actually, in Kung Fu movies there are always hundreds too. So I don't know where I learned they work alone! I bet it was in comic books!

Dinah is saved from being choked to death when Lynch and his men, who have been tracking the Microfilm Ye gave to Dinah, arrive. She hands the Microfilm off to Lynch and he compliments her on her loud voice and her ability to defeat hordes of ninjas. Then he gives her a ride home.

Whoops! Firebombed! That means I Level Up to Novice Comic Book Reader!

The issue ends with Dinah Drake accepting a position with Lynch's team. It's sunrise! She's starting over! Now she gets to be an assassin for the government! Desmond would be so proud of his little girl.

Birds of Prey #25 Rating: No change. This was the best issue of Birds of Prey in a long time because Condor wasn't in it. At least I don't think he was in it. He might have been the lead ninja that got away! But I don't think so because I didn't have an irrational hatred for that guy.