"Hello 9-1-1? I'd like to report a crime against humanity."
I'm not sure to whom I'm reporting the crime against humanity. Doctor Krigstein? Frank Quitely? My eyeballs and brain? Probably Mark Millar. I'm sure his notes for the cover just read "A human testicle grips baby Jenny with decaying sausage mummy fingers. His skin is less paper thin from age than melted like pork rotting in the desert. Make sure a tube goes directly into his crotch for added mystery." Boo, Mark Millar! You're the super villain of making me throw up! And Frank Quitely's your sidekick.
Doctor Krigstein was mobile in one issue but this cover makes it look like he needs every part of his body replaced. Neck brace to hold up his large, decaying head. Catheter and butt catheter. New blood being pumped in; old blood being pumped out. I'm not sure he should be allowed to hold an infant. Especially an infant that, if he drops it, will destroy the world.
Commander Fascist, Storm God, and Surgeon Weird return with Jenny Quantum and hand her off to Doctor Krigstein who looks at her, drools, and exposes his ignorance of the Spirit of the 21st Century.
Doctor Krigstein was mobile in one issue but this cover makes it look like he needs every part of his body replaced. Neck brace to hold up his large, decaying head. Catheter and butt catheter. New blood being pumped in; old blood being pumped out. I'm not sure he should be allowed to hold an infant. Especially an infant that, if he drops it, will destroy the world.
Commander Fascist, Storm God, and Surgeon Weird return with Jenny Quantum and hand her off to Doctor Krigstein who looks at her, drools, and exposes his ignorance of the Spirit of the 21st Century.
I don't think that's how it works at all!
Jenny Sparks mentioned to Swift that she was sort of at the mercy of the collective ideals of the people. It's why she died on the fake turning of the new century a year earlier than the actual turning of the new century. Because the mass of people believed that. I've got a feeling what Jenny Quantum winds up believing, the ideas she ultimately represents for the coming century, cannot be sculpted by one person feeding her his beliefs. Jenny Quantum reflects the movement of the new century; the new century does not reflect what Jenny Quantum believes. And even if I'm wrong in how I believe this whole Spirit of the Times thing works, hasn't Doctor Krigstein ever heard of rebellious teenagers? She'll never continue to believe what you teach her, even if you forbid her from interacting with any of her peers. It's the classic Conservative belief that they somehow own and control the minds of their children instead of seeing them as individuals, and loving them still.
The powers-that-be try to spin the disaster in Singapore as a result of The Authority overreaching by ending the reign of a genocidal leader. The main powers-that-be who want the world to believe this are the powers behind the United States of America because anybody who threatens their grip on world power is the enemy. If The Authority will act to take down a leader abusing his power, how long until they act against The United States of America's interests? So they pepper the media with reports that this was all because of The Authority.
But The Authority aren't a group to sit back and rend their garments in frustration. They get on their bully pulpit to let the world know that the damage was caused by an American Black Ops superhero team who kidnapped the most powerful baby in the world and plan to use it against The Authority. Maybe the world won't care much about that part but The Authority assures the world that they were going to use the baby to make the world a better place. Now whose side would you be on? The people exploiting a baby to kill other people or the people exploiting a baby to make the world better? I mean, obviously the second one. But they're still exploiting a baby! Just try to remember that.
Trelane contacts Jack Hawksmoor with the intel on where to find the intel on who these super-terrorists are and where to find them. They're a super secret group that are so black ops and covert that nobody should know about them at all. But Trelane does for reasons. I think the main reason is to keep the comic book moving forward. Oh, and there's always a paper trail! Always! Probably something like Doctor Krigstein loves Twinkies and somebody has to pay for those Twinkies so somewhere there are receipts for tons of Twinkies being purchased and shipped to a location where nothing supposedly exists.
Back on The Carrier, Midnighter doesn't keep his mouth shut when he probably should.
The powers-that-be try to spin the disaster in Singapore as a result of The Authority overreaching by ending the reign of a genocidal leader. The main powers-that-be who want the world to believe this are the powers behind the United States of America because anybody who threatens their grip on world power is the enemy. If The Authority will act to take down a leader abusing his power, how long until they act against The United States of America's interests? So they pepper the media with reports that this was all because of The Authority.
But The Authority aren't a group to sit back and rend their garments in frustration. They get on their bully pulpit to let the world know that the damage was caused by an American Black Ops superhero team who kidnapped the most powerful baby in the world and plan to use it against The Authority. Maybe the world won't care much about that part but The Authority assures the world that they were going to use the baby to make the world a better place. Now whose side would you be on? The people exploiting a baby to kill other people or the people exploiting a baby to make the world better? I mean, obviously the second one. But they're still exploiting a baby! Just try to remember that.
Trelane contacts Jack Hawksmoor with the intel on where to find the intel on who these super-terrorists are and where to find them. They're a super secret group that are so black ops and covert that nobody should know about them at all. But Trelane does for reasons. I think the main reason is to keep the comic book moving forward. Oh, and there's always a paper trail! Always! Probably something like Doctor Krigstein loves Twinkies and somebody has to pay for those Twinkies so somewhere there are receipts for tons of Twinkies being purchased and shipped to a location where nothing supposedly exists.
Back on The Carrier, Midnighter doesn't keep his mouth shut when he probably should.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I usually love to separate the art from the artist and allow the artist to express things through the art, or through characters, that they don't actually believe. But why else would Midnighter say this if it wasn't something Mark Millar believes? It doesn't sound like a Midnighter thing to say, does it? It sounds like the kind of thing a Brexit politician would say. "Sure, theoretically, you're all for helping refugees and foreigners. But try having to live amongst them! So gross!" The main reason I want to blame Millar for this stupid fucking thought is that I don't want to dislike Midnighter. I don't mind disliking Mark Millar! Plus he had an evil character kill babies last issue. Does Millar want to kill babies? Man, Millar's probably the one who makes fun of kidnapped children, not Commander Fascist!
Now's the part where I make excuses for Midnighter so I can keep liking him!
Maybe Midnighter's just feeling overwhelmed by all the strangers aboard The Carrier. He's starting to see his annoyance at the refugees smells and food and noise as aspects of their race itself. Maybe that's why he says it. He doesn't mean, "Hey, I'm racist now! I hate Southeast Asians!" He's just expressing how he realized how quickly he started to not just be irritated by all the people simply as an irritation of other people but labeling that irritation as "Southeast Asian." And seeing that in himself, he was all, "Ugh! I didn't realize I was racist but look at the way I'm reacting to this inconvenience! That's something I really need to examine about myself!" There! Fixed it.
Apollo seems to be doing okay. The only wound still seeping is the one in his psyche that's screaming, "I am going to utterly humiliate Commander Fascist and his pet dog Storm Dog before I end their existence so painfully that their psychic trauma will haunt the spot they died and I'll be able to come back, night after night, and fuck up their ghosts."
Apollo wants to sit and brood so he skips The Engineer's upcoming meeting in a virtual space she calls The Hive Mind. It's here where she lets everybody know the intel she discovered at the super secret secret location.
Now's the part where I make excuses for Midnighter so I can keep liking him!
Maybe Midnighter's just feeling overwhelmed by all the strangers aboard The Carrier. He's starting to see his annoyance at the refugees smells and food and noise as aspects of their race itself. Maybe that's why he says it. He doesn't mean, "Hey, I'm racist now! I hate Southeast Asians!" He's just expressing how he realized how quickly he started to not just be irritated by all the people simply as an irritation of other people but labeling that irritation as "Southeast Asian." And seeing that in himself, he was all, "Ugh! I didn't realize I was racist but look at the way I'm reacting to this inconvenience! That's something I really need to examine about myself!" There! Fixed it.
Apollo seems to be doing okay. The only wound still seeping is the one in his psyche that's screaming, "I am going to utterly humiliate Commander Fascist and his pet dog Storm Dog before I end their existence so painfully that their psychic trauma will haunt the spot they died and I'll be able to come back, night after night, and fuck up their ghosts."
Apollo wants to sit and brood so he skips The Engineer's upcoming meeting in a virtual space she calls The Hive Mind. It's here where she lets everybody know the intel she discovered at the super secret secret location.
Well it took his first name, a drawing of him as a younger man, and basically stating it outright for me to realize Doctor Krigstein is Jack Kirby.
To be fair to myself, if they'd called him Jacob Krigstein from the start, I might have had a chance to make the leap of logic. But as it was, Jack Kirby isn't always in the forefront of my mind. And Marvel itself remains mostly a mystery to me, apart from a small number of years around the late '90s and early '00s when all my favorite writers wound up working there.
The United States and the Soviet Union were involved in a superhero arms race (which means even more superheroes in Russia. Are they based on DC characters?). But then the Soviet Union collapsed and the heroes were no longer needed. But Krigstein wanted to use them to control the world after capitalism eventually collapsed (so around 2026, I'm guessing). But Bush laughed in his face and Krigstein disappeared with all his heroes, a bunch of government money, and the keys to five super secret hangars. And that's where he's been for the last ten years.
The United States and the Soviet Union were involved in a superhero arms race (which means even more superheroes in Russia. Are they based on DC characters?). But then the Soviet Union collapsed and the heroes were no longer needed. But Krigstein wanted to use them to control the world after capitalism eventually collapsed (so around 2026, I'm guessing). But Bush laughed in his face and Krigstein disappeared with all his heroes, a bunch of government money, and the keys to five super secret hangars. And that's where he's been for the last ten years.
So many characters have Jenny wrong that I just have to assume Mark Millar got it wrong.
Of course Mark Millar got the whole Jenny thing wrong! He didn't even remember that Jenny's successor was born in London the night Jenny Sparks died! Duh!
Yes, yes. I'm ignoring The Doctor's definition of "hippie liberals" as ultra-violent crime fighters who mostly see violence as the solution to the world's problems.
Swift has an idea on how to defeat Doctor Krigstein. But she doesn't say what her idea is because then nobody would buy the next issue. Instead, the team continues to look for Krigstein's hidden Hangar. Jack learns of one in New York when New York tells him that a squatter has been living in it. A great big empty space government squatter. They bring The Engineer to New York who uses her nanocrap to detect an enormous building built around and inside all of the other buildings in downtown. I guess it's some kind of alternate dimensional space. But right as they find it, Krigstein's super army attack Paris, Berlin, Beijing, and New York. They all happen to be in New York so they get to see the attack first hand.
Yes, yes. I'm ignoring The Doctor's definition of "hippie liberals" as ultra-violent crime fighters who mostly see violence as the solution to the world's problems.
Swift has an idea on how to defeat Doctor Krigstein. But she doesn't say what her idea is because then nobody would buy the next issue. Instead, the team continues to look for Krigstein's hidden Hangar. Jack learns of one in New York when New York tells him that a squatter has been living in it. A great big empty space government squatter. They bring The Engineer to New York who uses her nanocrap to detect an enormous building built around and inside all of the other buildings in downtown. I guess it's some kind of alternate dimensional space. But right as they find it, Krigstein's super army attack Paris, Berlin, Beijing, and New York. They all happen to be in New York so they get to see the attack first hand.
Are these the X-men? I was hoping for The New Gods.
The Authority #15 Rating: A-. There wasn't a single decapitation in this issue! Not even a single moment of ultra-violence! Not even normal violence! I'm so upset that I had to rate this issue nearly a B. Also Midnighter is racist.
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