Batman #3

He's still fighting this guy? Come on!

Alfred must be really, really good with the combat medic stuff. How many times does Batman have to be stabbed before he's put out of commission? Does Waynetech have some sort of nano-healing technology based on pig's blood and Mob Rule that keeps Batman on his feet?


This is Bruce's great-great-grandfather, Alan Wayne, in 1922.

Whoever is after Batman wants Batman to believe that some shadow organization called The Court of Owls is behind it. This organization is a Gotham legend. Batman doesn't believe the legend. He believes he knows Gotham so well that there is no way the Court of Owls can possibly exist.

In the last issue, the Gargoyle that Batman grabs onto to save his fall is the thirteenth Gargoyle on the original Wayne Tower. The gargoyles on the tower look in the direction of the entrances to the city. The 13th Gargoyle was added to watch over the people arriving by air. You know, like owls. The 13th Gargoyle was added by Alan's son, Henry.

So back to 1922 and Alan Wayne acting crazy. He's obviously crazed about owls. And what is the 13th hour? Along with the 13th guardian, I'm going to go out on a gargoyle and guess there are 13 Owls in the Court of Owls. After this scene, Alan Wayne drops into a manhole. Dies? I don't know.

But the Owl Assassin that attacked Bruce said he loved killing Waynes. So is Alan one of them? Is Batman's dad one of the Wayne's he killed? Have there been more?



So back to the present and Batman's investigation. He does the investigating a little bit differently than those Hardy Boys. He beats up a bunch of gang members in the Gotham rail lines beneath the city but finds that none of them know anything.

So back to the Batcave to ponder!



These few pages with Batman and Alfred moved me quite a bit. It didn't actually play emotional but the trust and care that these two show for each other really shines through here. Batman trusts Alfred implicitly. And he respects Alfred's opinion and knowledge. Alfred, of course, also knows more about the family history than Bruce Wayne does. So he hits him up here and finds his great, great grandfather suffered from a sudden onset of oclophobia.

Also, fuck you, Google! When I want to search for a made up term, I want you to find results for me of that made up term! Don't suggest a different term and find the results for that term and then give me a tiny link asking if I'd like to look for my original term! Just fucking look for it! If you think I made a mistake, then search for my term and add your little arrogant thing you always used to add: "Perhaps you meant to search for Ochlophobia?"

What Google has basically done is decided that the majority of people searching the web are too dumb to know what they're actually searching for and so they've made it more convenient for these boneheads. But now I need to do a bunch of extra steps every time I want to search for something made up!

And while I'm passing around the fuck yous, here's one for Netflix! You and your shitty new Xbox interface. You know what I would like to be able to do, Netflix? I would like to be able to go into a Television season's list of episodes and pick the episode I want to watch instead of having you fire up the episode you think I want to watch next. Also, you stick a bunch of information on the title of each movie or show but you neglected to add the year. I'd like to see what year a movie is from without having to start the stupid fucking movie and then have it in my 'recently watched' list when I never wanted to watch it in the first place. And why show me one Goddman meaningless still when I hover over the selection for too long?

To be fair, I can now see the full title of a television episode unlike the old format where you could never under any circumstances see the full titles of any television episode that was over a certain length. So they did one thing right.

You know who else needs a little fuck you? The Xbox music player. It's all wrong. When a song is playing, you cover up the length of the song with your little equalizer bars showing that song is playing. And as the song plays, the timer shows you how long the song has been playing. Fucking show me how long is left in the song or don't cover up the length of the Goddamn song!

These fuck yous are dedicated to Achewood and its sorely missed Fuck You Fridays. Even though today is Wednesday.


Aha! Here's how Alfred keeps Bruce healthy! By offering him tea with medicine that Bruce ignores!


Lincoln March flirting with Bruce Wayne.


That's only half the picture with 6 owls. I'm sure there are 7 more on the other side.

After an "A-ha!" House moment during the conversation with Lincoln, Batman zips off to find the secret lair of the Court of Owls. He deduces that owls make their nests in abandoned nests or the nests of rivals. And that his ancestor Alan Wayne was superstitious and one of the first to begin constructing buildings with no 13th floor. But he kept a small space between floors 12 and 14 to house the bad luck generated from the 13th floor. So he goes back to Wayne Tower and cuts into the 14th floor's floor to find the creepy old headquarters of the Court of Owls!

In fact, Batman finds a headquarters in nearly 20 different buildings in Gotham all associated with the Alan Wayne Trust for Assisting Young Architects, each more modern than the next. And the pictures only show six Owls and a Talon. The 13 makes sense in that the talon would be the 13th. Maybe each owl represented two of something somehow. No, one picture shows less. So maybe the number of owls in the Court doesn't matter. As long as their is one Talon. The Talon, by the way, is the assassin.

They're real! Oh noes! And Owls eat Bats! What an unlucky choice of superhero name, Mr. Wayne!

While investigating the most recent, Batman trips a trap and...


Whoops!