Detective Comics #1

Detective Comics is written and drawn by Tony Salvador Daniel. That's the guy behind the fabulous writing of The Savage Hawkman. So I already suspect he's not a very good writer. His art seems average. But my main problem, and I'm showing my prejudice here, is of an artist also doing the writing.

Okay, so Manapul over at The Flash is doing a pretty good job. But I just can't help thinking that DC is saving money by allowing the artists to also write the stories. Sure, they can probably come up with a good story as well. But you've got to be careful when writing a story that you know you're going to draw. His own abilities might limit him on what he does and doesn't put in the story. Like a director of a movie that he knows is being shot for 3D. He can't help but direct scenes toward the effect. And a writer can't help but write toward what or how he wants to draw.

I do the comic Dwarf Lover and one thing I make sure I don't do is think about the amount of photoshopping work I'm going to have to do because of the story I'm writing. I just write the story knowing that I'll figure it out when I get back on the computer to put the comic together. But in the past, I did write scenes that were easier to put together. A lot of standing around in the same location and talking.

I doubt this will be a problem with a professional DC comic book though! They have a bunch of editors keeping tight control on this stuff, right? Except, I guess the editors were busy when they had to look over J.T. Krul's work. And Tony Daniel's Hawkman fight choreography. I don't think they saw that. Or they didn't understand it and were too embarrassed to admit it.

Well. Fingers crossed! It's Batman versus Joker time!

Well, whattya know? The first action in the comic is a bit of a tussle between Batman and Joker (actually, a near tussle) which is just as confusing as the action in The Savage Hawkman. Perhaps Tony S. Daniel needs a little refresher in storyboarding a comic book.

I wish this were bigger but I can't scan it and this was the only example of the page I found on the interweb.

So the first five panels I can follow. Joker murders some co-worker or minion who was doing some crime (organ harvesting?) which Joker had not been aware. Then things get confusing.

Panel Six: Something crashes through the window. According to Panel Eight, it is a Batarang. It looks like a Batarang that allows Batman to see what's going on in a location before he crashes through a window.

Panel Seven: POV of the Batarang.

Panel Eight: Joker arguing with the Batarang and holding a duffel bag full of bomb.

Panel Nine: Joker throws the Duffel Bag in a way that makes no sense at all. Is that the light from a window along the far wall and Batman is about to crash through the window. If so, would that mean Joker's back is to this window and he's throwing the bomb at...what? A blank wall? The floor is in the bottom left-hand corner of the panel since that surface is covered in trash.

If you can interpret this panel for me, please leave a comment. I'm not trying to be dense!

Here's the panel that follows that one so you can see the aftermath of this moment:

We see Batman is definitely coming through a window. And it looks like the bag explodes near the window. And the panel after this, the Joker is escaping out of a window across the room. So the Joker must have been against the wall opposite the giant window that Batman crashes through. Which means The Joker's hand is between the wall in Panel Nine and the window Batman crashes through.

The POV in Panel Nine would have to be in the middle of the room looking at the wall with the shadow on it. Joker behind and to the left with the bag sailing over it.

That's about the best I could come up with! Well, not the best! If I wanted to spend any time on it, I'd make Batman look like Batman and draw the room with a bit better perspective and maybe try to make the light source into an antique Gotham streetlight. But that's how I envision this panel. Doesn't actually make any sense unless Joker is throwing the bomb at the batarang. It's possible Joker doesn't actually have a target for the bomb. Or he's really stupid and thinks the shadow is Batman so he's throwing the bomb at it.

But as you can see from the panel that follows, none of that actually happens. The Batman doesn't break through a window that is behind the Joker. He actually breaks through a window near where the bomb goes off.

I shouldn't be picking on Tony S. Daniel about this. He's writing and drawing the comic. He obviously has a better feeling and understanding of what is going on here. He knows what is happening. He doesn't have to explain it to an artist. He just draws what he writes. It's the editor who should be doing his job here. And there are three editors on this comic?! What are they editing? The letterer? Continuity errors (which there shouldn't be any of being the first comic in DC Continuity! And even if they are checking for that, they fucked up! Because the Joker is on the 13th floor of a building which means he's operating inside a Court of Owls headquarters!).

While looking for these pictures online (I ended up scanning what I could), I read the beginnings of the reviews that housed these pics. Nobody seemed confused by this. Perhaps it's just become standard in comics to have fight scenes occur in non-realistic spatial environments and I'm just being too picky. So I'll move on.

So I get the gist. Joker throws bomb at Batman as Batman breaks into building. Joker gets away.

Batman finds a small girl in the room whose organs were probably going to be harvested by The Joker's buddy. He's about to save her when the Gotham City Police Department bust through the door and attack Batman.

Yeah, I know. Stupid law officers keep trying to kill the do-gooder vigilante. But Batman fights them because he wants to save the little girl! But there's a fire!

And it's spreading like a book of matches! Wait. What?

Yeah, they're all focusing on...oh, wait, never mind. They got her.

Hey Batman! If you're so concerned that they're focusing on you instead of saving the girl, how about you stop kicking them in the face and go after The Joker, you stupid Goddamn control freak!

So Batman runs out of the room thinking he doesn't want any dead cops so "he'll lead them out". Like they don't know what fucking fire is?

Gotham Cop #1: "Hey, Stan! What is this orange flickering shit?"
Gotham Cop #2: "Fuck if I know."
Gotham Cop #3: "AAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHH!"
Gotham Cop #2: "Hey Bill? Are you okay? You're covered in that orange flickering shit. And you smell like steak."
Gotham Cop #3: "OH MY FUCKING GOD IF ONLY WE HAD FOLLOWED BATMAN" *DIE*
Gotham Cop #1: "You think Bill was allergic to the orange stuff?"
Gotham Cop #2: "Beats me."

Then the helicopter outside sees Batman on the infrared scope through the wall of the building and begins firing Chopper Bullets at him. Why? Why not! They've got to shoot someone! A little girl was almost killed!

Commissioner Gordon calls them all morons and the scene is over.

I read a lot of good reviews about this comic while looking for some of those earlier pictures. I think most comic book reader's brains have grown numb from years of this poorly told, cliche tripe. It's as cliche as saying cliche tripe! (I'd add an accent to 'cliche' but I'm being lazy).

Batman heads back to the Bat Cave to ponder what just happened. Apparently The Joker was naked during the fight. And the Batarang with the camera attached is called a Ro-Bat. Ha ha! Batman is hilarious.

After some discussion with Gordon about the mayor running for re-election on the Batman is a Hazard to Gotham platform, Batman intercepts the Joker again. They have a fight, Batman gets stabbed a few more times, and The Joker falls through a game of Tetris and is caught by The Batman. Batman places him in Arkham where this happens to him:

Some guy named Dollmaker removed The Joker's face. So The Joker is probably getting a new face. And the Dollmaker is either going to use the face himself or make someone else into a new Joker doll.

The guy Joker killed was Dollmaker's son but Dollmaker doesn't seem to have any hard feelings about it. Business is business, after all!

For all the complaints I had for the comic, it works. Although this is the type of comic that seems strange in this whole 52 Reboot thing. It doesn't seem like it's taking place in a new universe or dimension or world of retold stories. It's just another Batman story relying on the past we already know in order to work. The Joker is a huge problem in Gotham. Gordon and Batman trust each other. The cops and mayor don't trust Batman. Batman won't kill the Joker and the Joker thinks Batman is crazy for not killing him.

It's all been done. I expect a bit more variation with a reboot. Go crazy, Daniel! Tell some new stories. But maybe the Batman title is the place for that. Detective Comics is probably a good place for just regular old Batman stories that could take place at any time in the DC Universe. Except maybe the hacked off Joker face would have been too graphic for the Comic Code Authority years. Unless it was absolutely apparent that The Joker was a communist sympathizer.

I bet if Peter J. Tomasi were writing this book, he would begin by having some weird jellyfish creature steal the eyes from a bunch of Indians while they watched a cricket match.