Batman: The Dark Knight #2

Still reading Batman comics!

So Two-Face is now dangerous because he's a gigantic muscular lout. Like Bane. Or Killer Croc. Why not just use one of those guys? Why the need to turn Two-Face into something he's not? Why not make THE FURY OF THE PENGUIN? Or THE FURY OF THE RIDDLER?! Or the MAD HATTER!? Or the VENTRILOQUIST?! Why not drop all the gimmicks that make Batman's foes so special and just make them clones of Bane or Doomsday?

Maybe the story inside is better than the Christy cover.

In the first panel of Issue #2, we discover that Batman is a big liar.



After he went on and on and on about not being afraid of anything, now he says that, well, okay, maybe he's afraid of living. Which, by the way, is stupid. Not being afraid of dying in the line of some crazy belief of justice you dreamed up because you're parents died when you were tiny doesn't mean you're afraid of living. Batman may have some sort of death wish. But that doesn't mean he's afraid of living. What kind of stupid, profound line of lame philosophical thinking are they trying to squeeze out of Batman here.

Batman. Afraid of living. Stupid!

Oh, but Batman isn't the only person in Gotham going on and on about fear!


Extroverts love this stupid platitude.

So it's fear that keeps us from really living. But it's Batman's lack of fear that keeps him from really dying. Or is it his love of death that makes him fear living? Or maybe his fear of life makes him have no fear of living?

Batman nearly dies while Two-Face is giving him a lecture on waking up to life and having no fear and doing whatever you want to do no matter how many Batmen you have to kill to do it. And then Two-Face conveniently bleeds from every orifice (at least the ones on his face) and passes out.


Why would the police department be sued? Shouldn't Doctor Arkham be the one in legal trouble? Fuck you, Finch & Jenkins, for not understanding your world before you set a story in it!

Alfred and Batman analyze the drug that Two-Face was shot up with and realize it has similarities to Scarecrow's fear toxin. Of course! Since Jenkins and Finch keep beating the reader about the face with the word fear, I should have guessed. Also, Issue #5 has the Scarecrow on the cover!

Oh! And look, THE FURY OF THE VENTRILOQUIST! Right on time!



Robin and Nightwing are battling this bruiser. Do Batman and Nightwing have shared custody of Robin?

Batgirl is being chased around by Zsasz who is acting even more psychotic than usual.

Katana, Black Canary, and the other Bird of Prey I don't know are busy with a gigantic, muscular Clock King.

And Batwoman is fighting The Scarlet Pimpernel or whatever Batman foe is a pirate dandy.

So Gotham is a little bit out of control. I wonder who Hitman is fighting?

Eventually all of this chaos leads Batman to a train headed out of Gotham. On the train, he encounters the naked bunny lady who is working with The Joker.


Here's a game: Count all of the sources Finch and Jenkins plagiarize across the first two issues!

Wait a second. The Joker has his face again? Batman makes reference to him 'being back already' when he's talking with Alfred. I don't know if that's supposed to mean since he disappeared without his face or some other time. Maybe Batman: The Dark Knight takes place outside of the normal timeline and just tells stories from Batman's career. Or maybe that's not really The Joker.

I think Finch & Jenkins probably also had a screaming match with Tony S. Daniel that ended in a big, "Fuck you, we're using The Joker even if you cut his stupid face off!"