Green Lantern #4

The fights between Green Lantern and Sinestro were always my favorite parts of the old Super Friends cartoons. Even though Sinestro could have just shot yellow bullets at Green Lantern and there was nothing he could do about it, he never did. He would always play the game and make a giant glove to catch Green Lantern's giant green balls or something stupid. That cartoon is mostly all I know about Hal Jordan. I read some Justice League as well here and there and I always thought Hal Jordan was responsible and capable. I believe he was right up until he went mad because Coast City was destroyed.

So now why in the new 52 is he a big goofball? Both in Justice League and Green Lantern? Did they feel they needed to merge Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner together because neither one of them was really very popular? Or am I wrong about Hal Jordan and he was always kind of a screw-up? It's not Hal's fault, really. It's the stupid ring's fault! It's only supposed to judge people by the amount of willpower they have. It doesn't matter if they're a sociopath or autistic or a shut-in or a hoarder or a rapist! As long as you have the strongest will of anyone in the area, you get to be a Green Lantern, you lucky racist you!

This issue begins with a completely cheap retcon of the ending of the last issue. Seriously. This is the kind of cheap writing shit that would make me drop a title. Here's what the Yellow Battery was saying last issue as Hal Jordan flew into it:

And here's what the Yellow Battery has to say about it at the beginning of this issue:

Fuck you, Geoff Johns. And people think you're God's gift to DC story lines? What is this shit?! Last issue, the battery detected a Green Lantern. This issue, the battery declares, "Oh, wait, you aren't Sinestro. My bad." Also, in reaction to a Green Lantern being in the battery, it disintegrates the Green Lantern! And it completes the process at the end of last issue! How will Hal Jordan escape since he's already disintegrated!? Move on to the next issue and we see that the battery didn't mean to say disintegration! It meant to say transportation to the anti-matter universe! Which, sure, could cause disintegration if proper care isn't taken! BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT THE STUPID BATTERY SAID!
You know what? This is a worse travesty than the end of Batgirl Issue #1!

So instead of being disintegrated like he had been at the end of Issue #3, Hal Jordan is merely nearly transported to the anti-matter universe before the battery realizes he's not actually a Green Lantern. I mean, he's not actually Sinestro. So instead of being dead, he's merely spit out of the battery to land at Sinestro's feet.

How about I don't even read this comic? I'll just make it all up and then when I read next issue, if none of what I made up has anything to do with next issue, it won't matter anyway! Since Johns apparently doesn't believe continuity should extend to even one single comic series! Maybe Darkseid hasn't actually invaded Earth in Justice League? Perhaps next issue, everything will be okay again and what really happened is that the Justice League merely received a postcard from Apokolips that said, "Wish you were here!"

So the synopsis of this issue (as if it even matters) is that Hal Jordan is captured and his ring runs out of juice. Then Sinestro is captured and placed in a cell that supposedly drains the ring's power as it is used. In the cell are also all of the captured Korugarians who are angry with Sinestro. The cell is adjacent to Hal Jordan's cell. Sinestro apologizes to his fellow Korugarians and Hal gives Sinestro their plan for escape.

And he does it! And all of his people now have Green Lantern rings! Yay!

Whoops!

I'm sure this will not be how Issue #5 begins. What I'm most curious about is what is that baby Green Lantern going to create with his Green Lantern ring? A giant breast?