Superboy #29

Joke-El and the Legion of Super Knock-offs

The new Superboy, Joke-El, has teamed up with Saturn Cheese, Lode Boy, and Volt Lad to destroy the future and the past and all superheroes and the present as well because why not? Everything about this comic is so shitty it might as well destroy itself. Hopefully Harvest will come along and implode with the rest of this bullshit.

You know what? I don't even think I'm going to review this issue. I'm just going to review how nicely it burns.

Fuck. I'm my own worst enemy. I'm just too curious about how bad this issue is going to suck! I can't just set it ablaze without reading it! I already spent $2.24 cents on this thing! I might as well read it!

Remember last issue when Saturn Cheese thanked Joke-El when he kept her from murdering humans? And remember a few issues prior to that when Superboy refused to kill humans because he's supposed to be saving them from metas? Sure! You remember that! I remember that! But Marv Wolfman appears to have suffered brain damage somewhere along the way.

I hope I don't suddenly get inundated with messages about how Marv Wolfman actually has suffered from brain damage and that I'm an unfeeling bastard for mentioning it! That would be horrible! Because even though I am an unfeeling bastard, it's not because I'm making fun of Marv Wolfman's legitimate medical condition! If he has one, I simply didn't know about it! Although all the signs were there when he was writing Wonder Girl's husband, Terry Long.

Superboy plans on killing the Teen Titans. Before this scene (and the one from last issue where they killed a bunch of humans in the ECHO Armament Warehouse), I would have speculated that he would have to let Red Robin live because Tim Drake has no super powers. Also because Tim Drake must eventually become Harvest. But now, I guess he doesn't see a difference between a regular human and a metahuman. I also would have speculated anything a few issues ago but now I'm not interested in speculating on anything. Too much alternate dimensional timeline bullshit. Too many characters changing motivations. Too much stupid bullcrap. I'll just passively absorb the dumb from here on out.

No Raven, you idiot. It's the act of violence against essentially random targets that instills fear. Claiming responsibility for the act is for recruitment purposes of like-minded individuals.

I'm actually thankful for poorly written comic books like this one so that I can always revisit my "Know-It-All Asshole" character! And fuck everybody who just rolled their eyes and thought, "Character? I just figured that was your normal personality."

Some of you might be defending this comic for some unknown reason (brain damage as well? Possibly caused by reading this comic book?) so let me provide some evidence of the off-the-chart levels of sucking generated by this comic.

I think I just facepalmed simultaneously in multiple timelines.

I could just chalk this comment up to Wonder Girl not understanding alternate timelines and multiple dimensions and the effects of time travel within an enclosed system of linear time. I'm sure you're all following me after that sentence and if you aren't, hopefully you'll just have the common decency to pretend that you are so you don't look stupid. Let's walk through her nonsensical statement across a few scenarios, shall we?

1. Alternate Timeline: Let's assume the timeline we're currently in is the Main Timeline. If we posit that time travel is possible, we have to account for the possibilities of paradoxes. Paradoxes cannot exist for a timeline to maintain its integrity. We'll make that assumption because it's a reasonable assumption to make unless you're writing for Marvel. So if you travel back in time in Main Timeline, you do not arrive in the past of the Main Timeline. What happens is you create an alternate timeline. You have, in essence, jumped ship and can no longer return to the Main Timeline. For the people that didn't time travel, you essentially disappear from existence. You arrive in Second Timeline in the past, give your grandfather a blowjob, and return to the future (which, if you used Time Travel Technology instead of Stasis Technology, would now create Fourth Timeline. I didn't skip a Timeline! Keep reading!). Now the Second Timeline is probably very much like the Main Timeline except your Grandfather has a really fucking weird story to tell, especially after he sees what his grandson grows to look like. In Second Timeline, you probably still time travel because not much separates it from Main Timeline. But when you go back in time, you would create Third Timeline where you catch yourself blowing your grandfather and join in. In the Alternate Timeline Theory of Time Travel, Wonder Girl's statement makes no sense. They have to leave this future wrecked because that's what happened. If they go back to change it, they're really just changing an alternate timeline. This timeline remains in place for all the people they abandon to it. Timelines don't just disappear when the Protagonists decide to jump ship.

2. Multiple Dimensions: Multiple dimensions is a lot like Alternate Timelines except timelines don't simply come into existence due to time travel. Multiple Dimension Theory posits that every possible choice creates a timeline. Every possible scenario ever creates a new timeline. Meaning an infinity of timelines since one timeline exists where you masturbated upon waking this morning. Another timeline exists where you masturbated upon waking this morning just as your mother in the next room began masturbating as well. Another timeline exists where you listen to your mother begin to masturbate which causes you to begin masturbating but the weirdness and the guilt keep you from finishing and you go to breakfast embarrassed and slightly disgusted as you watch your mom butter your toast. So if a timeline exists for every possible choice for every possible person and every possible combination of every single person's choices then what the fuck does it matter if you leave this future wrecked? A timeline is always going to exist where you leave it wrecked. Although, you might as well try to fix it too since that timeline already exists as well!

3. Enclosed Linear System of Time: I'm probably not being very clear by the way I've titled this system but imagine that only one time line exists. So whatever happens in this timeline, happens. As an immortal being outside the system, you could sit down and watch it and everything would work out perfectly like the most intricately structured Rube Goldberg machine. Paradoxes never happen because they're already taken into account as the system progresses. If you time traveled back in time to kill your own grandfather, you are always there to kill your grandfather. The system never has a trial run through where your grandfather is not killed. So how do you manage to still live in this enclosed system? Easy. You didn't kill your actual grandfather. Somebody lied to somebody somewhere down the line and you wound up killing the wrong man. But that's how it happened, how it always happened, how it only ever happens just the one time always. Get it? In his case, they already wrecked this future, so it's wrecked. It always gets wrecked. It never doesn't get wrecked. So why bother about the now a total shithole future, Wonder Girl?

4. Paradoxes Run Rampant Theory: Now let's say paradoxes don't matter. Just for fun! Then by all means, fix the future! But who cares because it's all a gigantic fucking mess anyway with people shitting all over the playground and stepping in their own shit before they even shit! It's crazy town!

That was a lot to say on one panel on the fourth page of the comic book. This commentary might take a long time to finish if I keep this up.

Smartest guy in the DC Universe? My ass! Does that make sense? I think I'm still confused as to how my grandfather's semen wound up all over my chin.

Superboy arrives to say to the Teen Titans, "Go home! Return to your own time! The Legion of Super Knock-offs and I have everything under control! Wink, wink! I mean, no winking! We really do have it under control! Just not the kind of control you're thinking of! Wait. Did I say that out loud? Oh, my chromosomes are so sore! I'm not thinking straight! But seriously, go home. We're good here. I'll kill you later. Catch up! Catch up to you later! OW MY DNA HURTS!"

Superboy convinces the Titans to leave because their time in the DC Universe is short. I guess they'll be leaving Kid Flash and Solstice behind because the law says so and Red Robin must adhere to the letter of the law! Hopefully they've now left this comic book so Superboy can finally have a comic book all to himself!

Yay?

Saturn Cheese goes back to talking like a pansy pacifist so Superboy has to explain to her how killing the guards prevented the guards from killing more people. So it's like they brought people back to life instead of actually killing anybody! He also mentions the real Legion of Super-heroes and how they actually will exist in 1000 years. Or currently. Or something. Whatever! It's time travel! It's going to get messy! Especially when the writer doesn't give any fucks about presenting it in a consistent manner!

Superboy has a plan to destroy the metas and free the humans to become Earth's heroes. Too bad Earth is on the other side of the galaxy. Perhaps he meant New Future Earth? Or perhaps he plans on traveling back in time with the Legion of Super Knock-offs at his side. Or perhaps he's about to speak with Harvest and give me serious gas pains.

Whew. It was just his giant floating disembodied head.

Superboy is planning a plan even more plannier than Harvest's plan! And it's currently going swimmingly as he convinces the Legion of Super Knock-offs that they must kill the humans who have their fellow Legion members imprisoned. Saturn Cheese really does flip flop back and forth between murderer and pacifist every few pages in this thing! Although I think she's finally settled on murderer by the end of this issue.

Superboy heads back in time, leaving the Legion of Super Knock-offs to eventually get their own monthly title or at least appear occasionally in the Future's End weekly. Hopefully they don't get into too much trouble since Superboy is planning to use them as his time traveling army to defeat Harvest. And then Joke-El finally returns to 2014 to suck in the regular DC Timeline.

Superboy #29 Rating: No change. It's still awful!

Teen Titans #28

Ha ha! Throw the book at him! Throw all the books at him!

This cover makes it look like Kid Flash is being sentenced to an all teeth blow job. Get the fuck up, Solstice! Don't let Brett Booth take away your dignity by drawing you in this position where you're desperately holding on to your man as he's sentenced to every life ever in prison. How come he gets to stand tall and defiant while you gnash your teeth and rend your imaginary garments at the injustice of future justice? Also, why don't you get to wear any clothes? And what happened to Skitters? And why is Wonder Girl being written to fall for Superboy when he tried to kill her earlier? And why is Raven being characterized as a conniving dick?

Although the men aren't getting off much better. Tim Drake is a selfish, arrogant asshole that won't even let his teammates know who he is. He says it's to protect Batman's identity but Batman isn't really trying too hard to keep that secret himself. I think Tim just knows that one day he's going to betray them all by becoming a mastermind vampire from the future and he doesn't want any of them knowing his secrets. Superboy was killed off and replaced by an, if you can imagine it, even worse character. Kid Flash has been so annoying that I don't even care if he's killed off. At least Bunker escaped this mess. Maybe that's why Skitters left so early. It wasn't that she was useless; it's that she had some motherfucking pride. Good for her!

Only four issues left until I don't have to read this garbage anymore!

Scott Lobdell pisses me off right from the beginning when he begins: "The Echo Station...somewhen in the late 30th century." Somewhen. So fucking clever, Mr. Lobdell. As if the word "sometime" doesn't actually exist or the word "somewhere" is just too conventional since this is a time travel story and you have to make some kind of reference to the heroes of the story being out of time. Oh! That's another joke you can use! When Kid Flash is sentenced, somebody can say, "Well, I guess we're out of time!" And they can wink and elbow nudge Wonder Girl in the ribs when they say it. Although it's hard to see a wink from behind the Red Robin mask.

We're still on Page One and Lobdell is pissing me off again.

Has Scott Lobdell never been to outer space? Does he not know how it works? We could pretend that the one guy can't breathe because Superboy's grip is nearly choking him and not because the lack of oxygen. We can pretend that they are still close enough to the breach of the courtroom that they're all still enveloped in enough of the inside atmosphere to allow sound to carry and to allow them to breathe (for the moment). But even if we concede those points, now we have to believe that there is an event horizon for the gravity well of the two suns which Joke-el cannot escape which begins just a few feet from the Courthouse Satellite. I suppose I can keep making excuses for other things as well, like Joke-el is currently exhausted from his exploits in his own book and he's used up the last of his energy saving these three people but why should I? Why am I doing all the work trying to explain Lobdell's lazy writing. I hope Superboy gets pulled into one of the suns and dies. I hope they all do!

I hope Page Two is written better!

Man, that's why I always get hurt! I believe in people too much. I expect the best out of everybody! I think everyone is going to be smart and kind and considerate and avoid taking advantage of others! And the next thing I know, I'm waking up groggily in a bathtub full of ice with one kidney missing and ejaculate drying on my face. Again!

Goddammit. I have to put another quarter in my Judd Winick jar. Be right back.

Oh! Oh! Page Two explains one horrible part of Page One but doesn't help at all with making the concessions I made more believable. Although it also causes more trouble as Superboy skids in the frictionless space of space.

In space, no one can hear you interrobang.

So Joke-el throws a bunch of humans into the sun even though he earlier made a point earlier (possibly in Marv Wolfman's Superboy, possibly in one of Lobdell's own books since he remembers nothing he writes) that he only kills people with super powers. It's like his job! Protect humans (even though they just now started to disgust him at Kid Flash's trial) while killing superhumans. I'll give Lobdell the benefit of the doubt that I'm remembering this wrong (this time!), but I'm fairly certain I'm not wrong at all. I guess my mom was right about me always thinking I'm right!

As an ECHO spaceship comes along and blasts Superboy before asking him to declare his allegiance (fucking cops, amirite?), Superboy thinks about how he's dying because his human DNA is totally into segregation and thinks his Kryptonian DNA should not be stranding in the same chromosomes. Superboy thinks, "I'm dying." Really? Are you? I mean, I know that's the whole reason for Kal-el's previous existence. He was to help figure out a way to keep Joke-el alive. But by this time, Joke-el has been living for at least twenty years (from 2014 to 2034) without any harm. He seemed healthy enough then to kill most of the superheroes on Earth. But now he's dying again. Sure. Okay. I'll go with that. If I have to.

Back in the courtroom with the gaping hole in the roof that doesn't seem to be a problem anymore even though the vacuum of space is falling in and getting on everything, The Teen Titans battle to stop the battle. It's a thing! "Using violence to end violence!" It's The Green Lantern Corps Motto!

As plans go, this one was really fucking stupid because why would all the politicians come to his trial? Have they lost the ability to stream video live in the 30th Century?

Stories are supposed to be contrived. That's the only way stories can be made! But the secret is to disguise the contrived bits by making action and dialogue flow organically. When you have characters saying, "This ridiculous situation is happening because I planned it," you're not even trying to hide the magic of good storytelling! You're doing your magic tricks without any sleight of hand or magic smoke or boxes that have been checked by stupid audience members to prove they're not tricks. He might as well be naked on stage with a diagram of how the trick fools you into thinking it's magic.

The next ridiculous moment in a big skullpile of ridiculous moments in a story ravaged by starvation and disease is when Kid Flash wraps up Wonder Girl with her magic lasso and tells her, "I don't want to hurt any of you." No, that's why you ended last issue telling your men to kill them along with everybody else.

Scott Lobdell, can I pull you aside for a moment? Can I give you a bit of advice? I don't know where you heard that comic book readers can't remember anything that has happened in previous months but it's not true. And even if it were, you realize these stories will be collected in a Trade Paperback, right? So fans will be reading these stories in one sitting and they're just going to be confused by the way characters believe different things every twenty pages or so. Or how something that was happening previously no longer is happening. Or how Skitters just disappeared when you realized she was fucking useless on a super hero team. She might be interesting in her own title. But don't expect her to be ready to save anybody at the drop of a bank robbery. I imagine a lot of these inconsistencies are fixed up a bit in the Trades. Shit, that must be a lot of work to edit your stories and get them ready for a collection.

Here's Scott Lobdell continuing to write poorly.

What the hell is the "power of light" and how is it faster than Kid Flash? It's as if Lobdell combined the two tropes that always misrepresent how fast The Flash (and his copycats) really is: the speed of light and the power of thought. Perhaps Kid Flash isn't faster than the speed of light. Let's go with that. That still doesn't mean, if Solstice's powers are light based, that she can get the drop on him. To be able to do anything at the speeds which Kid Flash does them, his thought processes need to be faster than a normal person's. So it's not about how quick someone can process a thought (which isn't very fast actually but we'll ignore that for the sake of the "speed of thought" trope) but how quickly they can act and react. Solstice can't raise her hands faster than Kid Flash can bind them. Solstice can't say, "I'm sorry too, Bart" (not to mention the rest of that speech) before he would have her hogtied. Kid Flash's reaction time is so much quicker that he is faster than her "power of light." But if you're writing a super speedster and you need them to be beaten for a moment, you fall back on this bullshit. Because otherwise they can't be beat. You really need somebody else that moves at the same speed to compete with them.

How about we chalk up this defeat to Kid Flash subconsciously wanting to be stopped by Solstice? Does that work? Okay. Let's move on.

Since when did Red Robin start wearing a "T" on his shoulder? Does it stand for Tim?!

Red Robin is going to save lives by stopping all the killing and negotiating a peace treaty between both parties. At least that's his plan. Fuck any history between these groups or the fucked up culture and religious wars happening across generations. I'm sure if Tim points out that killing is bad, he'll get them to listen. They'll agree to share their resources and let everybody live by their own beliefs. Although Tim doesn't even know if one sides beliefs demand that they kill anybody that doesn't follow their beliefs! It could be a thing! Tim just doesn't know enough to be of any use in this situation. I hope he dies.

Brain 3 and Red Robin have a philosophical discussion about civilization and the rule of law as they kick the opposition in the teeth. There's your law, Red Robin. Might makes right. You're just proving it by kicking ass to get them to listen to you.

Meanwhile, Joke-el kidnaps Kid Flash and takes him into space. Instead of throwing him into the sun like he did with the others, he talks long enough for a monster ship to appear out of thin air. Bart gives us a little history on this ship: it was built with one purpose and that is annihilation. Why not omnidestruction? I would have gone with omnidestruction. Definitely. And piloting the ship is Bart's sister who is working with the Functionary to stop Kid Flash and his rebels.

For once, Superboy and I have the same thought: "You're welcome to try!"

Instead of destroying everyone, Shira tells Bart that mom and dad would not want him to do this. Bart weeps and wails and collapses in a heap and the war is over! Because mommy and daddy would be disappointed. Shira also points out that their parents were losers anyway and that's why they died. And Bart goes, "Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. I suppose if they had actually learned how to garden instead of praying for relief from God, we might have gotten something to eat once in a while." And Shira is all, "Totally. I guess we can call off the war now." And Kid Flash goes, "Hey! Hey guys! All you guys that are being oppressed every day and have finally gotten enough confidence to crawl out from under the boot heel of the Functionary! Stop fighting! We were wrong! Your religion is stupid! You should stop believing it and just do as The Functionary says!" And all the revolutionaries were like, "Yeah, yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Let's call off this war and head home to our empty pantries!" And then everybody cheered!

The next day, Bart once more goes back on trial and is sentenced to a life of hard labor. And Red Robin swallows his tongue and screams, "What?! Justice is working against what I want?! How can that be? It must be injustice! We must free Bart!"

Red Robin, you're a fucking dick. Apparently the better way to end this whole conflict was really just your way to end this whole conflict. Bart's a treasonous murderer but screw punishment! Red Robin says he should go free!

Bart stops his friends from making a fuss. Even though he was going to kill them if they tried to stop him, now he's telling them that if they love him, they'll stop fighting for him. It's a good thing he's been wearing his Kid Flash costume throughout this comic book or else I'd never know what character I was looking at whenever he spoke.

Solstice decides she can't live without Bart so she murders one of the judges so that she will be sent to the hard labor planet with him. Jesus! She doesn't even know if it's a co-ed prison planet! She's just going to wind up imprisoned somewhere else instead. No, no. Red Robin won't let that happen. He'll make sure everybody gets back to the present and they'll just forget about all the murders because how can you be convicted of murder when the person you have supposedly murdered hasn't even been born yet?

Teen Titans #28 Rating: Fuck this comic book.

Teen Titans #26

I think I've bashed Scott Lobdell as much as any single person can. I'm out of ways to hate his writing. Can we get a writer change on this series already?

Last issue, the Trial of Kid Flash still had yet to happen. I think it might have begun to happen. Possibly. I'm not sure. Trials in the future probably don't resemble trials today because they've probably improved them so that they actually bring about justice as opposed to just being a circus where money rules the day and you're judged by equally moronic members of your community who have been processed by an educational system that puts a premium on teaching kids to obey authority over teaching kids how to think logically. So even though everybody constantly shouts "innocent until proven guilty," you realize what you really get is a bunch of chowder-headed jury members that are thinking, "Why would the police have arrested this person if they are innocent?"

So hopefully future courtrooms have actual fair trials as opposed to our current system of "fair" trials where fair is based on how much money you have to spend on an attorney that doesn't give a shit about actual justice and instead acts like a Munchkin at a roleplaying table manipulating the rules to get whatever he wants.

This issue begins with Kid Flash's memories of how his descent into criminality began. His parents were missionaries that believed in the truth but the stupid authority figures that have no time for God and only love lies decided to kill the stupid believers because of their belief in believing. Kid Flash watched his father get his head bashed in because he couldn't not believe.

The real problem is that those beliefs are often worth killing for.

I bet Scott Lobdell took great pride in his alternate wording of The Lord's Prayer. But I'm just confused as to why Kid Flash came not just from the future but from some other planet in some other solar system and possibly in some other galaxy. But I guess Jesus made sure to visit the believers of that world as well. Fuck you, Earth! You aren't that special! Jesus loves aliens too! As long as they, you know, accept him as their Lord and Savior.

The Purifiers kill Kid Flash's mom as well but that's not the worst part. The worst part was how disrespectful they were of their religion. How dare they!

I don't think Scott Lobdell has the best handle on allegorical writing.

Kid Flash escapes from the vile non-believers with his kid sister, Shira. I thought Shira was his love interest earlier! I suppose she could still be. Just when they're older. It would be weird if they began dating now with him being eight and she being less than one. That age difference would just make things awkward.

The Teen Titans are watching this replay of Kid Flash's history via 30th Century Mind Spying Technology by Microsoft. I bet Kid Flash and his sister will think up a symbol to wear, something like, say, a shark or a whale which will identify them to other believers but won't reveal their belief to the Functionary's Purifiers! And eventually enough believers will believe so much belief that they'll help bring down The Functionary's civilization! Also, the Functionary's need for straight roads and for branching out across the entire universe and pissing off lots of foreign people who are able to follow those straight roads back to the seat of power probably help the believers and their rebellion a little bit.

Kid Flash became a murderer to protect his sister but even worse, he became an Absconder!

"Gotta stay! One step! Ahead of the atheist! One jump! Ahead of the lies! I steal only what God won't provide. That's everything!"

Eventually Kid Flash realizes he can't take care of his sister like this so he gives her to a nunnery, The Sisterhood of the Word. I bet that word is cunt! No, wait! It's probably a Holy Text! Yeah, that makes more sense.

The Teen Titans watching this memory on the Brainscreen by Microsoft are finally driven to gasp in horror at the thought of Kid Flash knowingly giving his sister a better life. But he loved her so much and she loved him and he still gave her away! Can you ever imagine not giving in to your own selfish needs for the betterment of somebody else? It's absolutely horrifying! The worst memory yet!

No, no. That's called idolatry! You don't believe in faith! You believe in God! You have faith in God! Stop putting faith before God, dodo-head!

See why people love willfully misunderstanding stuff? Then you get to argue against them knowing full well what they actually meant! But you can make them seem like idiots while you're really just making an idiot of yourself. Although it's far too satisfying to put somebody in their place over something they never meant than to care about how fucking dumb you're going to look afterward. Seriously! It must be or else why else do people continue to comment all over the internet?

Kid Flash began hitchhiking all across the galaxy until he finally realized what he needed to do! He was "to young [sic]" to get revenge on the monsters that killed his parents. So he decided to infiltrate their organization by enlisting with them! He'll bring down the entire organization from within! Maybe he can even get close enough to The Functionary and teach him the glory of Jesus and what he did for everybody! What did he do for everybody? I thought his entire plan was to expose the hypocrisy of the Pharisees so that the people would boot them from power and get Rome off their backs so that Israel could be free to rule itself. No? That wasn't his actual plan? It actually had something to do with living forever as a ghost? Weird. I'd better reread my Bible!

Kid Flash became the Han Solo of the Purifiers, smuggling cargo across the universe while absorbing massive amounts of interstellar radiation due to the limited shielding on the cargo ships. Eventually he crashed but that was when he discovered his super speed powers. And that's Kid Flash's secret origin! Everybody can go back to the past and continue with what they were doing. Right?

Oh wait! I forgot about his trial. I guess he still needs to remember the horrible things he did to make The Functionary send him back in time. Kid Flash builds an army of believers and they use a lightning bolt as their symbol because it's easy to draw. Then they began attacking the government with belief! But then belief turned to tragedy!

Wait. Was the Word that the Sisterhood of the Word followed actually the Word of base, material beliefs? The Word of the Functionary? I don't think so because Kid Flash heard the "testimony" of his neighbors back when his parents were killed when speech bubbles were saying "sharing the word" and "the word forevermore." But then some speech bubbles also said "pure" and "renounce" which make me think the Purifiers were yelling them! I'm confused!

So The Word is either what the believers believe or what the Functionary says people must believe. One of those! Maybe that's why the Teen Titans were so shocked when Kid Flash gave his sister to the Sisterhood of the Word? Because that was the enemy? But how would they fucking know since they knew as much as I did and it was all very confusing! Maybe I shouldn't care so much! It's only the stupid Teen Titans written poorly by poo-poo face Scott Lobdell.

Look! Now he's got me resorting to infantile insults! Jerko!

It turns out Kid Flash only "almost killed" Shira. But it was enough for him to give up the rebellion because better that he not accidentally nearly kill his sister a second time than free hundreds of thousands of people from a despot! No wonder the Rebellion decided he was a traitor!

After hearing Kid Flash's testimony, the other Teen Titans realize he's a pathetic worm and a huge dick for betraying a freedom movement for one insignificant person. Sure, he gave up everything to keep her safe so why wouldn't he give up everything again to keep her safe again! Oh, because maybe with his super special speed powers, he could have brought her over to the rebellion? Maybe? No? Too complicated? Anyway, the Teen Titans look like they're about to turn on him because that's what friends do in Scott Lobdell comic books. They turn on each other at the end of every issue to force some kind of dramatic tension that will be forgotten when the next issue begins next month.

Look! Even Joke-el is concerned with this turn of events!

Teen Titans #26 Rating: Like anybody needs this rating synopsis to find out what I fucking think about Scott Lobdell's Teen Titans? Look, it's the worst comic book ever even if this issue wasn't as bad as Lobdell's usual shit mainly because was concentrating on a completely new history concerning just one Titan. So, you know, he had less subject matter to completely fuck up. I think I mentioned about a year ago that I stopped trying to be unbiased when it came to Scott Lobdell's crap. He needs to write a number of good issues in a row before the taint of his garbage pen is removed from my brain.