What's the word I'm looking for here? Oh yeah! AWOOOOGA!
I remember absolutely nothing about this comic book except the art style. When I found it in the stack, I simply thought, "Oh yeah! I remember those tits!" Maybe it has something to do with a genie, I think? I don't even remember the Cliffhanger publishing imprint of Wildstorm but I suppose I should since they also published two other comic books I read: Crimson and Steampunk. This title doesn't even get a mention in the Cliffhanger Wikipedia entry! I normally wouldn't trust myself on how memorable a comic book is but if it wasn't even given a brief aside in a Wikipedia entry on a publishing imprint that didn't even publish that many titles over it's five or so year life, it can't be that great, right? I mean, I trust Warren Ellis to give me something interesting and Amanda Conner to make my eyes come. But what's Jimmy Palmiotti doing on this thing? Did he add the swears?
The story begins in an alternate London of 2001 that looks like it was reverse-colonized by India. What I mean by that is everything seems to be based on India instead of hodgepodge of Franco and Germanic and Nordic and Roman and Pagan influences as opposed to what I think the real idea of "reverse-colonizing" might be: where the colonizers seem surprised when their homeland becomes less "home" than they're used to because all the immigrants of the places you've colonized have also made it home and brought a lot of their culture from their homeland. It's one of the things that seems to piss off racists even though it's like, "Hey, buddy? Maybe be mad at your racist predecessors for going around trying to take control of every country in their line of sight! Nobody in the countries you colonized asked for you to water down their culture with prudish religious ideas and milquetoast cuisines. But by invading their countries, they practically begged them to come live in theirs as well. Share and share alike, you know?"
What I'm trying to say is, "This London looks like my kind of town!"
The story begins in an alternate London of 2001 that looks like it was reverse-colonized by India. What I mean by that is everything seems to be based on India instead of hodgepodge of Franco and Germanic and Nordic and Roman and Pagan influences as opposed to what I think the real idea of "reverse-colonizing" might be: where the colonizers seem surprised when their homeland becomes less "home" than they're used to because all the immigrants of the places you've colonized have also made it home and brought a lot of their culture from their homeland. It's one of the things that seems to piss off racists even though it's like, "Hey, buddy? Maybe be mad at your racist predecessors for going around trying to take control of every country in their line of sight! Nobody in the countries you colonized asked for you to water down their culture with prudish religious ideas and milquetoast cuisines. But by invading their countries, they practically begged them to come live in theirs as well. Share and share alike, you know?"
What I'm trying to say is, "This London looks like my kind of town!"
Would I genetically engineer my cat to be a smoker? Yes. Yes I would.
Everybody is dancing and singing in the streets like they've been cursed by a dancing demon. No, something isn't right there. Maybe witches?
Oh wait! This really might be a series about a genie! Maybe my memory didn't fail me and this was somebody's second wish! Their first wish was for an 8-inch pianist for some reason. Or I could just accept the casual world building introduced visually in the first few pages.
The main character from the cover (the one without the tits) has been learning to fly. Mostly he's been listening to Pink Floyd and reading Zen Flight. But he's now decided the only way to do it, is to do it. So he jumps off of the roof of a building directly over the other main character (the one without the no tits). Her name is Rosi Blades and she's a cam girl. Oh man! Remember cam girls! No wonder she's doing that "put your dick on my tongue" Only Fans face on the cover! Because Cam Girls are the grandmothers of Only Fans!
Oh wait! This really might be a series about a genie! Maybe my memory didn't fail me and this was somebody's second wish! Their first wish was for an 8-inch pianist for some reason. Or I could just accept the casual world building introduced visually in the first few pages.
The main character from the cover (the one without the tits) has been learning to fly. Mostly he's been listening to Pink Floyd and reading Zen Flight. But he's now decided the only way to do it, is to do it. So he jumps off of the roof of a building directly over the other main character (the one without the no tits). Her name is Rosi Blades and she's a cam girl. Oh man! Remember cam girls! No wonder she's doing that "put your dick on my tongue" Only Fans face on the cover! Because Cam Girls are the grandmothers of Only Fans!
Oh no! Y'all better stop boring Rosi because I do not want her to lose those flesh potatoes!
"Fart blood." That must be the part Jimmy wrote. For not remembering this comic book until I saw it, I absolutely remembered "fart blood." But, again, only after I re-read it. Which seems, to me, a terrible way to say you've "remembered" something. Oh yeah! That thing I just read and looked at. I remember it now that I've once again seen it and read it! Good job, brain! That was sarcastic, in case you didn't notice, brain, because you don't seem to be that with it.
Rosi has a little floating web cam that follows here around as well as a camera on her left eye and her right tit. I bet it costs extra to watch the feed from her tit. Sort of a premium kink channel. "I've always wanted to know what it was like to be a boob! Look at all the eye contact I'm making with pervy men!" Not that all men who look at boobs are pervs. Looking at boobs is an art. You can't just stare at the boobs divorced from the sex object they're on. I mean the person! The woman they're on! You have to admire them with the entire package. Keep the eyes roving. Head back to the tits a few times, just to make sure your initial impression was accurate. The same rule applies to admiring tattoos. You want to glance and scan, glance and scan. Staring too hard gives the impression you're judging the person!
One time I was walking through an airport and a cute woman was walking toward me. I looked her in the face but she was looking away. Then I looked down at her tits and back up to her face to find she was making eye contact with me at that moment. She had caught me looking! But then she smiled and I was all, "Is this love?" But it wasn't love. It was just a butterfly on a stupid meme.
Later, Amanda draws two cats fucking.
Rosi has a little floating web cam that follows here around as well as a camera on her left eye and her right tit. I bet it costs extra to watch the feed from her tit. Sort of a premium kink channel. "I've always wanted to know what it was like to be a boob! Look at all the eye contact I'm making with pervy men!" Not that all men who look at boobs are pervs. Looking at boobs is an art. You can't just stare at the boobs divorced from the sex object they're on. I mean the person! The woman they're on! You have to admire them with the entire package. Keep the eyes roving. Head back to the tits a few times, just to make sure your initial impression was accurate. The same rule applies to admiring tattoos. You want to glance and scan, glance and scan. Staring too hard gives the impression you're judging the person!
One time I was walking through an airport and a cute woman was walking toward me. I looked her in the face but she was looking away. Then I looked down at her tits and back up to her face to find she was making eye contact with me at that moment. She had caught me looking! But then she smiled and I was all, "Is this love?" But it wasn't love. It was just a butterfly on a stupid meme.
Later, Amanda draws two cats fucking.
Feed 3, the one not quite focused on the chicken running by (because her boob is jiggling. It's unfocused in some shots and not in others. Because of boob jiggle!), is from Rosie's boob. Apparently she's got a camera in her ass as well (ROSI POV 4). I'm just kidding. That's probably the thing on her shoulder. But I wish I wasn't kidding.
I'm sure this had nothing to do with Amanda's Harley Quinn gig but nobody would be surprised if this was the reason she got it.
Remember Jenny Cam? Just slowly blink at me if you do so you don't throw your old-ass neck out by nodding.
So current-day London isn't just a big Bollywood movie. That's just this neighborhood. It seems what everybody thought of as online living spaces where anything can happen is how living in the 2001 London of this alternate world is. And Rosi here is already bored by all of it.
Rosi's stuck in an existential rut brought on by the constant need over the course of the year to keep her viewers excited and engaged. She's got Twitch burnout.
Remember Jenny Cam? Just slowly blink at me if you do so you don't throw your old-ass neck out by nodding.
So current-day London isn't just a big Bollywood movie. That's just this neighborhood. It seems what everybody thought of as online living spaces where anything can happen is how living in the 2001 London of this alternate world is. And Rosi here is already bored by all of it.
Rosi's stuck in an existential rut brought on by the constant need over the course of the year to keep her viewers excited and engaged. She's got Twitch burnout.
Stop looking up the cat's butthole. Check out the dog with the anal beads tail!
The guy who jumped off the building earlier (and, I'm assuming, flew?) goes running past Rosi as she knocked over by the guy he's chasing: some white guy with dreadlocks in a puffy jacket. He seems to have stolen something from flyboy. Rosi doesn't give a shit what's going on because it's excitement! She chases after to give her viewers a thrill and/or to fuck the good-looking guy.
See? Plus more jiggle footage!
The bad guy (you know he's the bad guy not because he stole something from Zen Flyboy but because he is white with dreadlocks) hits Flyboy in the bollocks and runs off into a club called Avant-Spook. That gives Rosi time to introduce herself to her soon-to-be new boyfriend.
I've decided I quite like Rosi.
I also have decided that I quite like Zen Flyboy.
While also liking Rosi even more, especially when she pulls out her wedgie.
I hope this series only went three issues or else I'm going to have to track down the rest of it!
Zen Flyboy introduces himself, on camera, as Tony Ling. So if he was a secret Zen Assassin, he's now a not-so-secret Zen Assassin. Rosi and Tony chase Dreadlocks through a fetish club and out the other side where they feel each other out for a potential romantic encounter later on.
Zen Flyboy introduces himself, on camera, as Tony Ling. So if he was a secret Zen Assassin, he's now a not-so-secret Zen Assassin. Rosi and Tony chase Dreadlocks through a fetish club and out the other side where they feel each other out for a potential romantic encounter later on.
Tony's game could use a little improvement.
I'm having trouble deciding what not to scan while reading this comic book because Amanda knocked it out of all the ballparks for this. I mean, she always does. But I guess I adore Rosi so much that it feels like Amanda's doing more work than she normally might. Plus that jiggle in the boob cam? So fantastic.
Tony shoots Dreadlocks' kneecaps out and he collapses to the ground. He's about to pull a gun and shoot Tony in the face when Rosi jumps up and down on Dreadlocks' head. While doing so, her boob cam catches a shot that I can almost guarantee has never been in a comic book outside of maybe an R. Crumb book.
Tony shoots Dreadlocks' kneecaps out and he collapses to the ground. He's about to pull a gun and shoot Tony in the face when Rosi jumps up and down on Dreadlocks' head. While doing so, her boob cam catches a shot that I can almost guarantee has never been in a comic book outside of maybe an R. Crumb book.
Cat with a used tampon! Cat with a used tampon! *guitar riff*
After helping Tony retrieve the trombone case, Rosi learns that he wasn't retrieving it at all. Tony was stealing it from Dreadlocks. Well, I mean, how could anybody have known?! If you don't want everybody immediately assuming you're a douchey prick, don't be a white guy with dreads!
Apparently the item in the trombone case was headed to Reg Quarry, the leader of the Quarry gang. Tony was hired to make sure the item never got to Reg. Somebody really didn't want him to have whatever was in the case.
Apparently the item in the trombone case was headed to Reg Quarry, the leader of the Quarry gang. Tony was hired to make sure the item never got to Reg. Somebody really didn't want him to have whatever was in the case.
Reg's wife must have hired Tony.
There's a button on the willy that Tony tells Rosi to touch. But she's all, "I'm not touching it. You touch it!" Can she get more adorable? Tony also refuses to touch it but he presses the button with his gun and the penis plays "Ride of the Valkyries".
Now that Tony has what he was paid to get, and Rosi had a fun stream, the two decide they never want to see each other again. But they betray that feeling by each looking back at the other as they walk away (although at different times). What is this? The most vulgar romantic comedy meet-cute ever written? I hope so because it is so fucking cute and adorable. I'm going to get this comic book pregnant now.
Two-Step #1 Rating: A+. How could I not remember this comic book?! What is wrong in my brain that it doesn't remember something that I find this adorable now? Did I not find it adorable when I first read it? I must have because my tastes really haven't changed much at all! Although when I first looked at the cover after pulling this stack of comics out of the short box they were in, my brain did scream like a little girl first discovering whatever it is little girl's really love. Other little girls, maybe? That sounds right.
Now that Tony has what he was paid to get, and Rosi had a fun stream, the two decide they never want to see each other again. But they betray that feeling by each looking back at the other as they walk away (although at different times). What is this? The most vulgar romantic comedy meet-cute ever written? I hope so because it is so fucking cute and adorable. I'm going to get this comic book pregnant now.
Two-Step #1 Rating: A+. How could I not remember this comic book?! What is wrong in my brain that it doesn't remember something that I find this adorable now? Did I not find it adorable when I first read it? I must have because my tastes really haven't changed much at all! Although when I first looked at the cover after pulling this stack of comics out of the short box they were in, my brain did scream like a little girl first discovering whatever it is little girl's really love. Other little girls, maybe? That sounds right.
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