This cover accurately portrays how boring this comic book is. Although this cover has more arrow shooting than the stories inside usually have.
Remember when this series began as J.T. Krul's outlet to rant and rave about reality stars being famous for reasons he didn't approve of? "But...but...but...they're untalented morons who do have done nothing that I approve of to get their fame! I fucking write comic books, people! I should be famous! Me! I mean, my comic books are terrible but at least I'm writing! That's more than these reality stars are doing! They're just looking good and doing things that entertain the masses for some reason. I should be entertaining the masses! Why won't the masses pay attention to me?! You know what? Green Arrow is going to fix it! He's going to arrest anybody trying to be famous for being on Internet videos! They won't even break laws! He'll just arrest them because he despises them! Then I'll have him say a lot of things in Narration Boxes that will criticize critics trying to criticize me before they can criticize me! That'll show them! The fucking parasites!"
I might still be retaining a ton of Bitterhasswasser from Krul's initial run on this shitty comic book.
When I say this comic book is shitty, I don't want Benjamin Percy getting his underwear full of wet farts in a twist. I hated this book long before he began using it as his soapbox to bring the horrors of racism to the attention of comic book readers everywhere. Or at least the idiotic comic book readers who were still picking up this terrible comic book. I have no sympathy for people still reading this shit. They should have known it was terrible when they saw it on the shelf and realized it said "Green Arrow" on the front. That's worse advertising than that comic book that says "Aquaman" on it!
At the end of the last issue, Green Werewolf had been killed by Douchéstork. Which kind of makes me wonder: why the fuck did this comic book need another issue?! It already had the best ending to any story it was going to tell! Now I'm going to have to read a story where Green Werewolf desperately needs a blood transfusion to remain alive and he's going to be given Doctor Miracle's blood without his consent (because Ollie is dead or almost dead) which will cure his Werewolf AIDS! That way he never has to make the decision to stop being a minority and go back to being a rich white asshole. It's a solution that allows Ollie to still seem sensitive to the plight of the minority population (represented by people with Werewolf AIDS) by not having him choose to stop being a part of their group. Even though he really wasn't a part of their group simply because he contracted some disease. Percy doesn't really get racism, does he?
It turns out, Doctor Miracle's blood was still on the dagger. So the part of the story I just mentioned in the previous paragraph took place in two pages. Ollie is saved from death and his blood is clean of Werewolf AIDS. Now maybe he can go back to shooting arrows. Although he's going to have to deal with being a totally racist white guy again.
While Ollie heals, Douchéstork kidnaps Doctor Miracle to take him back to Seattle.
Most purses I know are bigger than hearts. Are bigger hearts worse than smaller hearts? Does he mean a coin purse? What the fuck is Douchéstork talking about?! Maybe he means it's such a large muscle that Doctor Miracle will never have the strength to open it up?! Or maybe he means it's full of tampons?!
No, seriously! That's Ollie's plan! Which turns Benjamin Percy's story about racism into a fully racist story! I imagine something else will happen because equating the people with Werewolf AIDS as the Other who the white privileged folks (the people with American President masks on. Subtle, no?) are trying to drive out of their city, and then deciding that the solution is removing the Otherness from the Other to make them more like the white privileged folks isn't exactly the best moral of the story.
The other problem with this "allegory" is that The Wargs are people with a dangerous, deadly, transmittable disease and are actively trying to spread it to others. Hmm. Maybe they're the bad guys after all! They're spreading hate and ignorance and...no, no. That can't be it. Because Ollie embraced having Werewolf AIDS because it allowed him to understand how it feels to be outside the hateful, vile, despicable norm! Plus the guys who hate the Wargs are all white men. That makes it easy to identify them as the bad guys.
Maybe it'll all make sense by the end. It's also possible Percy's allegory got away from him.
Ollie saves Doctor Miracle and asks him to help heal the city. Doctor Miracle heals the Wargs who want to be healed but I guess his healing powers don't work to heal the hate and ignorance of the Anti-Warg faction. In the end, the leader of the Berserker Wargs rides off to become a pain in the ass later. And Ollie lets him go because he understands the best way to change things is to have a hyper-extreme voice screaming nonsense into everybody else's faces so that people will go, "Okay, okay. These other people who don't want to change as much sound reasonable and I'll agree with them but get that fucking Warg out of my face!" Or something. I don't know.
I did learn that racism was bad though! So that was a worthwhile message!
Hopefully Rebirth will be the Doctor Miracle of this Green Arrow Werewolf AIDS epidemic.
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