Friday, February 10, 2012

Batgirl #1

She's just excited to be out of that wheelchair!

The comic book starts off a little strangely...

It looks like everyone is a little bit excited!

This pervert has this list, you see.

And I guess he needs to go around and jerk off on each one of them! So it's up to Batgirl to stop him! Or to help him with his problem. She'll probably just end up sticking him in Arkham Asylum where he can fling his liquids on unsuspecting federal agents visiting serial killers to find out clues about their next cases.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't what really happened. Maybe.

Most of the story revolves around Barbara Gordon moving out of her father's house and into a new apartment with an unnamed woman. She has nightmares and flashbacks of being shot in the stomach by the Joker and crippled.

Since it's a new timeline, couldn't The Joker at least be dressed differently?

So I guess The Killing Joke remains canon in the DCnU. But instead of crippling Barbara Gordon for life, he only manages to cripple her for about three years. And now she's back up on her feet to go toe to toe with The Masturbater! I mean, The Mirror!

The Mirror seems to be going around killing people who survived tragic accidents. That's why Barbara Gordon is on his list.

At the end, The Mirror goes after some criminal that Batgirl just put in the hospital. She also saved his life when he knocked them both out of an upper floor window. Batgirl arrives and freezes up because he has a gun and points it at her stomach. While frozen, The Mirror pushes the criminal out of the window. And then one of those really super stupid retarded suck-ass moments that always happens in comic books happens.

Why why why why why why is this some kind of standard cliche for comic books?

Cop: "Hey! Look! A murderer in a costume is here! He just killed a guy and he has a gun! What should I do? I know! I'll pull my gun and point it at the bystander who doesn't have a weapon and call her a murderer!"

WHAT THE FUCK, GAIL SIMONE?! I've heard nothing but good stuff about your writing and you write this? This is bullshit! It's stupidity! Nobody would act this way! EVER! Point your gun at the psycho pointing his gun at you!

I'm going to hold off placing Batgirl in the rankings so the comic gets a fair shot. Because that was a J.T. Krul nonsense move right there!

Lame. LAME!

No comments:

Post a Comment