I think the "two towers" referenced in the title are the two characters who carry the weight of this entire book: Treebeard and Gollum. At least that's what I think as an adult. When I first read this as a twelve-year old, I had no idea what towers were being referenced. Now, don't jump to the conclusion that I was a complete dimwit! It was obvious Orthanc was one of them! It's the most towery tower ever to appear in fantasy fiction. But what was the other one? Minas Morgul? Barad-dûr? The watchtower atop Cirith Ungol?
I know a lot of you are shaking your head and making "Pshaw!" noises at me and snorting, "It was obviously Barad-dûr, you stupid twit." But would you stake your nerdy life on that?!
Hmm, maybe you would. I bet there's a letter that J.R.R. Tolkien penned to some second cousin that was all, "It should be clear to everybody that the towers I was talking about were Orthanc and Barad-dûr. Only stupid dumb 12-year old twits who couldn't even tell the difference between Saruman and Sauron wouldn't understand that!"
Yeah, yeah. I was somewhat confused by those two wizards! I didn't say I was zero percent dimwit at twelve! But seriously, Tolkien had to pick two names that were that similar?! He was absolutely taking the piss.
Anyway, the tracking of the hobbits is boring. The Riders of Rohan are the worst characters of any book I've ever read (and I've read most of the Xanth books). Frodo might as well be a straw effigy with a ring tied to it. And Sam is just a bitter, thwarted cook. Gollum and Treebeard are the only interesting parts of this book.
Although I suppose the Battle of Helm's Deep was exciting because I was really wrapped up in whether the Elf character or the Dwarf character would murder more orcs than the other. You probably think the Elf would run away with that one because he could kill so many with arrows before one orc even got near the dwarf's axe but you would be surprised at how easy it is for a writer to pretend that wasn't the case at all and the dwarf actually could win that contest. So unbelievable.
Hopefully when I get around to reading the Sillymarillion, it explains what happened to the Entwives. If that mystery is never revealed, I suppose the next book I'm going to read is a Ouija board as I summon the spirit of J.R.R. Tolkien to explain his damned self.
I know a lot of you are shaking your head and making "Pshaw!" noises at me and snorting, "It was obviously Barad-dûr, you stupid twit." But would you stake your nerdy life on that?!
Hmm, maybe you would. I bet there's a letter that J.R.R. Tolkien penned to some second cousin that was all, "It should be clear to everybody that the towers I was talking about were Orthanc and Barad-dûr. Only stupid dumb 12-year old twits who couldn't even tell the difference between Saruman and Sauron wouldn't understand that!"
Yeah, yeah. I was somewhat confused by those two wizards! I didn't say I was zero percent dimwit at twelve! But seriously, Tolkien had to pick two names that were that similar?! He was absolutely taking the piss.
Anyway, the tracking of the hobbits is boring. The Riders of Rohan are the worst characters of any book I've ever read (and I've read most of the Xanth books). Frodo might as well be a straw effigy with a ring tied to it. And Sam is just a bitter, thwarted cook. Gollum and Treebeard are the only interesting parts of this book.
Although I suppose the Battle of Helm's Deep was exciting because I was really wrapped up in whether the Elf character or the Dwarf character would murder more orcs than the other. You probably think the Elf would run away with that one because he could kill so many with arrows before one orc even got near the dwarf's axe but you would be surprised at how easy it is for a writer to pretend that wasn't the case at all and the dwarf actually could win that contest. So unbelievable.
Hopefully when I get around to reading the Sillymarillion, it explains what happened to the Entwives. If that mystery is never revealed, I suppose the next book I'm going to read is a Ouija board as I summon the spirit of J.R.R. Tolkien to explain his damned self.
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