Another fantastic blurb that coldly dissects a comic so that the reader knows that the frog isn't just a frog but a package of disgusting parts nobody fucking wanted to experience in their free time just so the reviewer could sound intelligent, and then calmly tilts the empty corpse into the bin while the reviewer goes off to suck his own dick.
So now that I've read the blurb, do I really need to read this comic book? I now know what it's about! And even if it isn't about that and about a whole bunch of other things (which it fucking well is but who am I to tell anybody how to read this book?), my mind is now attuned to this fucking reviewer's interpretation! "Hey fellas! Here's a bit of hip triv ya might not have ever considered before in your slap dash life of Facebook video games and daily perusal of slightly smutty young person Instagram pics! Did you know war makes people rich?! Hey-O! Wisdom, bitch! Blowin' yer mind, ain't I?! Good? Evil? Sometimes--get this!--you can't fucking tell which is which! WHOA! BOOM! DEAD!"
Here's my blurb for the series so far: "Who told you comics were supposed to be fun? Wrap your lips around this fucking downer, assholes!"
Just to clarify: that was a positive blurb!
Lastly, I'd just like to say Tom King is a writer. A fucking real deal writer. He isn't just writing monthly scripts to fill pages because comic books are middle stories that don't really exist in the traditional narrative mode. He's writing stories that have a reason for being told with characters that act from personal motivation and not because the plot demands them to act a certain way. This guy has that thing people call chops. I think. Is that a thing?
Also the art! Mitch Gerads kills this book every month. Murders it dead.
Just to clarify: that was a positive sentence!
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