Justice League #9

Do Justice League covers always have to be dynamic? Just show them sitting around sipping coffee and reading the paper.

Four years ago, David Graves authored a book called Gods Among Men which was about the Justice League's sudden appearance in the world. He's also the author in the DCnU who writes about the kinds of things you'd hear on Coast to Coast AM.

The second book from the left should be "Fatima Prophecies" not "Fatmia Prophecies."

David Graves is dying of cancer and his current doctor has decided that enough is enough. They've tried everything and nothing is working. It's time for David to make his peace. But David is not fucking going out like that, bitch!

I think he wants a second opinion.

No doctor can help David so David decides it's time to help himself. That probably means becoming a super villain to get the Justice League's attention and force them to save his ass.

Meanwhile, Batman is busy reading the letter Barry delivered to him in Flashpoint. It's the letter from his father from the alternate timeline. While he's contemplating a father he never knew, yet another explosion at Arkham helps free a bunch of inmates. The guy causing the explosion to get into Arkham? The Key. Flashback to Morrison's run on the Justice League back in the late 90s. Which makes me realize that last issue was also a flashback to that run! Is Johns making his timeline in the Reboot similar to the old DCU timeline in slight ways? Green Arrow proved he was good enough to join the team by taking out The Key with a Boxing Glove arrow in Morrison's run. Now, Green Arrow has not been allowed to join the League. The League isn't searching for new members like they were in Morrison's run, mostly because Martian Manhunter fucked it up for everyone in the Reboot.

The letter reminds Batman of a sad memory of repainting his room after his parents were killed. And later, in Metropolis, Superman has a sad memory of being picked last for the basketball team when Lois calls everyone to come with her to the taco truck for free tacos except Clark. That's disgusting, Lois! This whole issue is beginning to channel Sailor Moon R: The Movie. Will it end (or, will the final issue of the storyline end) with them remembering a time when Sailor Moon included them and made them happy with her insufferable, I mean, ineffable charm? But replace Sailor Moon with someone else. Wonder Woman? Steve Trevor? Amanda Waller?

That reminds me! Back in the mid-90s, I made an AMV (Anime Music Video) of Sailor Moon R: The Movie. It was done by hooking up a Laser Disc Player and a Stereo to a VCR. Halfway through, you can see the blue screen where you're supposed to flip the Laser Disc. AMV old school, beeyotch.

Batman gives Superman a call to help him take down The Key. Not that Batman needs Superman's help. Batman's just thinking about his friend's needs.

The Key is probably a sore spot because Clark kept pulling that Rare when he first began collecting Heroclix. That and fucking Desaad. And Goddamned Commissioner Gordon too!

Batman also invited Cyborg along to help track The Key inside Arkham. Cyborg also has a sad memory about how his daddy never had time for him until he was turned into a walking weapon. And then his daddy wanted to spend time with him but Cyborg was too busy. Cue Cat's Cradle!

Cyborg directs everyone to the stairs to head down lower into Arkham where The Key is headed. But Superman knows the secret to Gotham: its walls are like Styrofoam! He busts through the walls because, you know, why take the way that won't result in expensive property damage when you can make your own, more direct route that will create jobs for the citizens of Gotham! Nice one, Job Creator Man!

While all this super heroical crap is going on, Steve Trevor has wandered into his apartment where he keeps the television on at all hours. He's instantly greeted with Harvey and Charles from TMZ pointing out how Steve Trevor has become a big loser since he broke up with Wonder Woman. So I guess that's what all the tension is about between the two of them. They used to date and now it's over and Steve Trevor is heartbroken. And Diana just wants to be friends. Super friends!

Oh, I mention Steve Trevor because Davy Graves was waiting for him in his apartment. I guess he was the one watching TMZ before Trevor got home! Davy Graves wants a meeting with the Justice League (or revenge? It's sometimes hard to tell with these super villains) and has determined that Colonel Steve Trevor is the key. No, no, no! Not The Key! He's different.

Yay, Geoff Johns! Someone who understands The Flash Dilemma!

The Flash and Green Lantern are hanging out doing super-heroics as well! And they also have sad memories although they're not quite on par with the Clark's, Bruce's, or Victor's. Jordan is being manhandled by a cop and Allen is watching cops manhandle a civilian. Sorry if the emotional impact of these two scenarios are lost on me when Bruce is dealing with dead parents, Victor is dealing with a living but uncaring dad, and Clark is having his feelings of abandonment and loneliness multiplied by his schoolmates' attitudes.

Flash and Lantern have apprehended Weapons Master and need to question him to find out who sent him and for what reason. But they fail at their interrogation so they need Wonder Woman and her magic lasso. Wonder Woman has a sad memory as well.

So does she still want to be more than Super Friends?

Bats, Supes, and Cybs find The Key cowering in the basement of Arkham. He wants to be locked up and thrown away! What a punster! He'll fight right in in Gotham City. It looks like David Graves got inside the mind of The Key and stole everything The Key knew about the Justice League. He also found out from the Weapons Master how to hurt each and every one of the Justice League. So just like any good author, he's doing his research before his next novel. I think the next novel is going to have something to do with the death of the Justice League and the death of David Graves too.

But the story isn't over yet! Remember how Graves was in Trevor's apartment? Yeah, well, he wants information. And Graves is all tricked out in some kind of super villain costume that the creative team are keeping mostly secret until next issue.

Don't worry, Steve Trevor! Graves will probably keep you alive to leave you as the surprise calling card on the satellite which the League will find just before he strikes.

That's it for the Justice League. And I wasn't planning on scanning anything from the Shazaam story but this part was just too nice. Billy still isn't getting along with his new siblings. He just wants to be left alone. But after school, the rich and influential parent's kids begin picking on the Foster Marvels. They begin getting physical when Billy beats the crap out of all of them. Billy gets in trouble and is threatened with expulsion if he continues to get into fights. But after leaving the principal's office, this goes down:

I could learn to like this Billy Batson.

The story ends with Dr. Sivana getting blasted in the eye on an archaeological dig. He develops a lightning bolt scar across his eye and he realizes he can see magic! How he knows this, I don't know! It's probably part of the mystic transfusion of power received by breaking into the Tomb of Black Adam.

Justice League #9 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic is so, so, so much better when Geoff Johns writes a story instead of a storyboard for a gigantic fight. I'm thoroughly enjoying it now.