Teen Titans Annual #1

This is a fairly standard Teen Titans cover where each member matches up against a similarly powered villain. Or other hero since Legion Lost aren't villains. I think?

This is DC's first annual. I sure hope they don't do annuals for all 52 comics. It doesn't look like it since we're about ten issues in and only three comics have received annuals so far (Teen Titans, Batman, and Animal Man). At least it says right on the cover of The Culling crossover which comics I"m supposed to read and in which order. But too bad it's written by Scott Lobdell and Tom DeFalco!
Chapter One: In Which Red Robin Meets Some People.

Last issue ended with the Teen Titans captured by Leash. This issue begins with Red Robin lying on the ground with a spear at his throat as he finds himself in The Colony. This is a hellhole where all of the teen super freaks NOWHERE has gathered have been placed to prepare them for The Culling. The Culling is the comic book version of the Japanese book/movie Battle Royale (or The Hunger Games if you're a teenaged girl). A lot of people are going to kill a lot of other people to find out who is most worthy to become a Ravager. At least that's what I've pieced together over the last dozen issues of comics that mention The Culling as if it's the next great crossover since sliced bread. Or Final Crisis. Whatever.

I can't hear what they're saying because I'm so fascinated with the zippers on their outfits.

Now, most super heroes wear full body tights. This may be the first time I've seen zippers quite like this on costumes. And these costumes were given to them by the people running The Culling. Which makes me think that the easy access to a person's genitalia is an important part of this contest! Or maybe this brother and sister team (named Lightning and Thunder) have a special power when they merge their boy and girl parts.

Red Robin gains the respect of his rivals by taking down a girl named Artemis. Also by cracking jokes when he's at the pointy end of her spear.

Oh, and look! Apparently the story was coherent enough for me to figure it out! Right down to stealing the idea from the movie, Battle Royale.

The Culling seems like a good idea since it should mean the end of Teen Titans or Legion Lost or Superboy. But what it really means is an additional comic book title: The Ravagers.

Red Robin and his new team (I don't know where his old team wandered off to!) head out across The Colony to, um, go somewhere for some reason. On their way to the someplace, they wander into the wrong territory so that the reader doesn't get too bored seeing as how a punch has yet to be thrown. And I'm betting the leader of this new territory really knows how to throw a punch!

His name is actually Fist Point! FIST POINT! What's his super power? Showing you which way to go with his fist? "Hey, Fist Point? Where's the bathroom?" POINTS DOWN THE HALL WITH HIS FIST!

The fight lasts no time at all. Artemis puts him down and Fist Points runs off with his fists between his legs. The rest of the group make it back to their camp where the rest of the Teen Titans and Superboy are hanging out waiting for Red Robin.

Chapter Two: In Which Legion Lost Remains Lost

The Legion Lost team are in another part of The Colony looking for a way out. But even with Gates and his ability to teleport, they can't get through the force field keeping all the young dudes contained. Harvest and his Bad Boy Review are secretly keeping an eye on them.

Now Harvest brought Legion back from the future? It wasn't the Hypertaxis? Or Chameleon Girl's secret plan? Maybe this was Tyroc's prophecy? Or the secret that only Tellus knows?

Chapter Three: In Which A Silly Battle Takes Place

Leash heads over to the Colony to grab up some Teen Titans to fight Legion Lost. He takes all of them but Skitter. He also takes Lightning but not her brother Thunder. After Leash disappears, Skitters has a moment with someone who speaks like Skitters.

Skitters needs to go get retooled so that she can be an effective member of the team instead of a cocoon.

When the Teen Titans arrive in The Crucible, Legion Lost is waiting for them. And even though Red Robin was told what this whole thing was about and how teenaged meta-humans were going to be forced to fight to the death, they attack Legion believing that Legion is part of NOWHERE. Yet again, knowledge of what's going on doesn't help to stop a fist fight that shouldn't happen. At least Red Robin should take the time to shout, "Hey! You think they're a group like us? Maybe we should talk about this first!" But, no, that doesn't happen. Fists start flying and irrational and stupid banter ensues.

Oh, sure. He's hair is a bit shaggy and he's got some stubble, so nickname him Furball and call him a Mountain Lion!

Whoa. You sure you know what you're saying there, Gates?

All of this silly nonsense between the Teen Titans and Legion is merely to wear the two teams down, according to Harvest. They're so much more powerful than the rest of the captives that they needed to beat up on each other before the rest of the kids arrive. Which they do in Chapter Four!

Chapter Four: The Motherfucking Culling, Fuckers!

As soon as all of the other youngsters arrive full of fake fury due to Leash's power, the Teen Titans and Legion realize they're on the same side! So they decide to work together to make sure nobody dies and Harvest's Culling lays a big turd in the ratings.

But no matter how hard they try, they can't keep an eye on the hundreds of fighters in The Crucible and eventually one of them is killed. Fist Points earns first blood by killing Artemis! +100 Points!
Chapter Five: The Motherfucking Crucible Continues, Gobsmackers!

Ravagers Ravage!

Legion and the Teen Titans save the day and nobody else dies. Harvest laughs because the plan being ruined was all part of the plan! And then he sends The Ravagers in to The Crucible to kill everyone. Stupid Ravagers. If the whole point of The Culling is to find the best fighters in a fight to the death and then you're being sent in to fight to the death, don't you see Harvest is using you as well? He doesn't believe you're the best team! Maybe you guys should work with the Titans and Legion as well! Hmm? Yes? Maybe?

Teen Titans Annual #1 Rating: I'm not going to penalize a comic for having a stupid Annual because I don't believe there's been an annual in the history of comic books that has been worth buying. Ever. Somebody prove me wrong!