Birds of Prey #21

I almost forgot that Calvin Rose is all dead and shit.

Quick recap: Talon appeared before Batgirl and Strix. Black Canary and Condor wandered off. Mister Freeze escaped. Starling is a fuckbag. And here we go!

This issue begins with Talon wrapping Batgirl up in her own cape and throwing her down a stairwell. He accomplished this because she spent most of the fight Narration Boxing to herself about how odd it was that a Talon wasn't trying to kill her. Take that, you over-thinker! Now Strix is going to have to fight Talon all alone. What chance does a Talon have against Talon? Oh, hmmm. I bet it's a draw!

I see Christy Marx is keeping Duane's love of falling characters alive.

That sign should say, "Coming Soon: Bruce Wayne's pockets get fatter and fatter as many Gotham citizens are marginalized!"

Meanwhile Black Condor continues to look like a fucking idiot. He's bragging about how he knows how to pull a hard drive out of a computer. You're lucky that was a removable hard drive, you douche bucket! Stop bragging about flipping a switch and pulling! Could you have done it if you had to open the case up? Do you carry teeny tiny screwdrivers somewhere on that stupid fucking costume? I HATE YOU! DIE ALREADY!

OH BOY! LOOK AT THE FUCKING TECHNICAL KNOW HOW ON THAT PURPLE HEADED TWIT!

Sorry for yelling. I need a moment to compose myself.

Batgirl radios Black Canary and Condor for help. So they use radio communicators and cell phones? Do they need the phones for long distance communication with each other? Or is the phone for setting up Birds of Prey auditions and gossiping about what Batman's secret identity might actually be.

On the street below, Strix regenerates faster than Talon because she's had more practice. She thinks about cutting off his head but decides to leave him be because she's a pussy. Or she has sympathy for him. One of those. She then climbs back up the side of the building because nobody has given her one of those Grapple Hook Shooters that everybody else in Gotham seems to own.

Talon wakes up and realizes he's been the victim of a mercy living. That's when the good guy shows mercy to the bad guy and then the bad guy yells at the stars for being liars and then throws himself off of a bridge. Except Talon doesn't realize he's supposed to kill himself after being shown mercy and simply goes back to work trying to kill Strix.

The two Talons crawl into a window to fight on some middle floor so it will be harder for the other Birds of Prey to find them. This way, they can have some alone time trying to kill each other before Black Canary screams Calvin Rose's face into jelly. I wish she would scream Condor's face into jelly.

This is what happens when Talons fight. You're dead! No, you're dead! No you are! You are! Pointless. If only Matthew Broderick were here to force them to play Tic Tac Toe two hundred million times.

Batgirl goes off on her own to find Strix while Black Canary and Condor wander around discussing stuff. It's really stupid stuff that nobody wanted to know anyway. They should just keep it to themselves because it's confusing and threatening and it's making me uncomfortable.

Is Dinah suddenly on drugs? What the fuck? Did he use his power to force her lips onto his? I wish she would accidentally hiccup and blow his brains out.

Did I miss something? Was there some kind of chemistry going on between these two? It's got to be his power, right? Maybe besides his Telekinesis, he also has the "Look at My Face and Want to Fuck Me" power.

Back to the Talon battle, Talon gets the upper hand on Talon but then Talon pulls a reversal and then Talon looks like Talon is about to die. But then Talon is about to stab Talon in the face and Talon realizes that Talon just can't kill Talon. So the Talons become friends instead. They rush off together to probably save Casey and her daughter over in Talon #9. Unless they're just going out for burgers. Maybe they're going to look for Mr. Freeze? I don't know! I might know if Strix would say something once in a while! Somebody should buy her some chalk or a pen and notepad so she doesn't have to keep finding rocks to scrape words in the dust.

Birds of Prey #21 Rating: No change. I'm so mad at Dinah right now. How could she kiss that stupid, goofy, jerk? She must still be confused and distraught over Starling's betrayal. I hope that's it.