Saturday, June 22, 2013

Batman and Batgirl #21

Batgirl's turn to get into a fistfight with Batman.

Batman is burning every single Batbridge he has in these Batman and Robin books. Will the next issue be Batman and Nightwing? What about Batman and Alfred Pennyworth? Fuck, that would actually be a really good issue. I trust Tomasi to write the hell out of that issue. I'm even willing to give up a Batman and Batcow issue to read the Batman and Alfred one!

Batgirl is down at the Gotham Docks plying her trade. A lot of men have gone down already and half a dozen more are queuing up for a taste of Batgirl. With the amount of drugs at the party, Batgirl was positive Batman would make an appearance to help her beat off the remaining thugs. Of course she's right! Batman would never miss a chance to introduce a few men to his fists.

No shit, you fucking imbecile! You're smuggling drugs into Gotham, you stupid fucking turd.

Why is any crook surprised when Batman drops by to put their criminal asses in the hospital? If you want your crime to go down easier, get the fuck out of Gotham. Oh, and don't move to Metropolis! I'd suggest Seattle if you positively have to be in a city with a Super Hero.

Batgirl tries to work up the nerve to talk with Batman, to maybe clear the air about the last few weeks. Maybe even talk about Damian. But Batman notices that Batgirl has removed the Bat Symbol from her chest and he gets all butthurt over it.

It's always about you, isn't it? The Great Batman! Nobody else can have problems of their own, can they?

What does 'butthurt' even mean? Don't get me wrong! I love it as a descriptive phrase for somebody having an inappropriately dramatic reaction to a lost argument or a perceived insult or whatever. But why butthurt? Is it meant to imply anal penetration? I prefer it to just be a funny sounding word with an innocent meaning. I asked Lord Google about it and I found a website that I think I'm probably going to lose a lot of time on. Not because I think it has valuable information but because I think it's a really Goddamn stupid idea: Stop Saying.

Fuck you, Internet! Stop telling people how they're using language wrong! Some people may not like it when language evolves or sayings grow to encompass more situations than the ones they were first invented for but it happens. It happens all the time and you can't corral motherfucking words! So when I looked up 'butthurt' to see if there was a literal account of why exactly that phrase, I found this site telling me to stop using 'butthurt' in any way other than when I've completely decimated somebody in an internet argument and they still won't concede they're wrong. At that moment, and ONLY AT THAT MOMENT, does a person become BUTTHURT. You know, according to this stupid fucking site. The site even has some extra phrases that it doesn't want the internet to ruin so it spells out the exact ways in which a phrase can be used, such as Over 9000. Thanks, assholes! You've literally butthurt me over 9000 times with this dumbass website.

I might have found the site acceptable if it had listed literally as a word everybody needs to stop saying!

Batgirl takes a moment to sit outside her dad's bedroom on a ledge and tell him what she did to James Gordon Junior. She might as well do this every time she needs to talk about her problems instead of seeing a therapist that she can't tell her problems to anyway without revealing her identity! I wonder what Barbara's therapist thinks when Barbara can talk freely about being able to walk again and the trauma from The Joker's attack and how powerless she felt and the emotions brought on by her recovery. And then Barbara starts saying things like, "Well, I was out doing some thing and this thing happened and now I feel proud that I did this other thing but kind of scared because that one thing puts this other thing in a dangerous thing, you know?" I guess as long as Barbara is talking, the therapist is doing her job and earning her money.

Afterward Batgirl tries to track down Batman so she can actually talk to somebody about what happened. I suppose she already spoke with Nightwing by this point but he's obviously going to be too understanding and not tell her that she should feel horrible for what happened. Because that's what she wants to hear. She doesn't want to feel better about having killed her brother. And Batman will tell her she broke the rules! Batman will punish her with his words!

She finds him punishing some dicks with his fists.

Batman is hellbent on putting these thugs in the hospital. But he gave them a choice! He actually gave them a quick interview just to find out how dangerous and unrepentant they were. They admitted to Batman's face that they had no qualms over putting a few people in the ground just to make some money. This garners the "-;tt;-" response from Batman which basically means "We're done talking here, good sirs. Put up your dukes and defend yourselves."

Batgirl records the whole thing on her Google Glasses. She even gets where Bullock tries to stop Batman's rampage by grabbing his arm and Batman kicks Bullock in the stomach. Batgirl takes off to meet up with Batman in the Batcave for their talk. I have a feeling her main topic of conversation might have changed a little bit after what she just witnessed. Obviously Damian's loss has really fucked the Bat up.

She began this pursuit thinking she needed reassurance and saving.

At this point, I can't even predict Batman's reaction. When will he finally allow someone to reach in and begin pulling him out of his despair? Will it be Batgirl? Or is he just going to get into another angry fistfight with one of his Batchildren? I don't think this will end physically; Batgirl wouldn't participate in that bullshit. But I have a feeling it's going to take Nightwing to pull Batman out of this tailspin. Dick Grayson, his original Robin. He just doesn't view the others as his peers.

Although Batgirl has the proper experience and perspective for this one.

Batman must be really pissed at all these young kids telling him how he should act and what he should feel. How could they know what he's going through? How dare they presume to know?! But he, like Barbara, definitely isn't ready to hear, "It's not your fault." They both know their training and the deaths of Damian Wayne and James Gordon, Jr. should have been preventable if only they'd done everything they could. Well, James isn't dead so Batgirl is going to have a big laugh over all this one day. But Batman just wants to smash the world at this point.

Just a second while I consult the Stop Saying website. La la la la. Oh, okay. I can say it: "Right in the feels!"

And, well, I've scanned this much already. And Tomasi handles these characters so well that I just don't feel like a stupid, jokey synopsis fits. Besides, the screen is all blurry for some reason and my nose is running all over everything.

Twenty Two Issues down and Peter Tomasi has been nearly flawless on this title. Bravo, sir. Well done.

Batman and Batgirl #21 Rating: +2 Ranking. This comic book is simply superb. And next issue should be a treat! Tomasi handling the Batman and Catwoman dynamic? Oh please, Tomasi, finally put some emotion and spark into this relationship!

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