New Guardians #4

I really like this cover even though it's a total lie and has nothing to do with the comic inside.

Let's start at the end and work backwards to see if this storyline makes any sense. I'm of the opinion that it doesn't but I might convince myself otherwise as I work through it. And starting at the end is like starting at the beginning because the end is the big reveal of how it all started. And it started with this thing:

This thing is a ship called the Orrery. I don't know if it's called the Orrery because it's an Orrery or if it's just a cosmic coincidence! But Agent Orange's pet Guardian, Sayd, tells the Lanterns that if they wish to know who stole their rings, they would have to search the Orrery.

But if the Orrery and its denizens were behind stealing the rings, why didn't they actually, um, steal the rings? Maybe Sayd the Immortal just used the wrong terminology. Maybe Sayd meant if you want to find the person responsible for removing the rings from the fingers of their respective Lanterns and then sent the rings to Kyle for some mysterious reason, you need to search the Orrery.

So that's one big piece that doesn't make any sense. A ship entered our universe through a white hole and stole the rings while not actually stealing the rings but forcing the rings to choose Kyle. Because that's another problem. The rings weren't simply stolen. They were switched from the Lanterns to Kyle.

The next problem is what happens when Agent Orange busts in on the Oans and the other Lanterns.

Agent Orange arrives because he was following the other stolen rings. When he discovers they're on Oa, he just comes in blasting the Oans. And he expects the other Lanterns to join in. And they do! Why? The Red, Indigo, Violet, and Yellow Lanterns were all searching for the person who stole their rings. All the evidence pointed toward Agent Orange being behind it since his Orange Ring was actually one of his Construct Lanterns. So why don't they attack him? I get that the Guardians are diminutive bastards but it doesn't make sense for them to suddenly attack them all.

Kyle may have the only reason for really hating them because of what they did to Ganthet. But even that's a bit of a sketchy reason to just start obliterating them. He's the one that suggests they all join Orange to 'keep up with him.' Instead of them attacking Green Lantern again because he had stolen the rings, suddenly they don't care anymore. Even though Green Lantern just destroyed all of their rings by trying to wear them all at the same time.

So let's try a brief recap:

A Red, Yellow, Indigo, Violet, Blue (not shown), and Orange Lantern all have their rings stolen. The Orange Lantern resists though so his is actually safe. But no Green Lantern loses his ring. All the lost rings are drawn to the Green Lantern Kyle Raynor. This was caused by beings on a ship called the Orrery which just entered this universe through a white hole. All the Lanterns wanted the rings back so they attacked Kyle who they assumed stole them. But after Kyle wears the rings and actually destroys them (while absorbing some of their power), the Orange Lantern appears and gets everyone to beat up the Oans. They decide to stop fighting Kyle and band together to beat on the little pricks before Kyle comes to his senses and forces them all to retreat to Agent Orange's homeworld. It's on this world where they learn they must go to the Orrery to figure out what's going on.

Whatever. Like I said, I really want to like this title but this storyline is just shit. If the next few issues explain it all in a satisfactory way, I'll send Tony Bedard one crisp dollar bill!

UPDATE HERE! I thought more about the storyline and it fucking works.