Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Justice League Dark #3

Issue three is called 'Shibboleths and Alcohol.' So I think it's going to focus on John Constantine. It begins with Enchantress (I don't know if it's The Enchantress or just Enchantress. I'm probably the only one who cares) sitting by the side of the road full of resentment and rotten teeth. Madame Xanadu must have helped her out of the envelope. My guess is that Madame Xanadu understands the world needs these magic loonies to have some gigantic confrontation to save it. So she's helping The Enchantress as much as The Enchantress needs to get back up on her feet and fight the others. I have a feeling the big climactic battle will bring The Enchantress over to the "good" guy's side but she'll still be a loose cannon.

Also, what happened to the Justice League? Did they fly into that tornado of smelly teeth and just give up? Or are they still trapped there? Did Batman actually allow Zatanna to go off on her own without his help? Really? The guy with severe control issues? That whole scene with the Justice League was simply to show that the Justice League, even with its current power levels, can't deal with every disaster. Magic needs to be fought with magic. Magic does not need to be fought with Sonic Cannons and Laser Eyes and Truth Lassos. Except that last one is actually magic. So it would probably help.

John and Zatanna during their Hindu Sex Magick Ritual.

Zatanna refers to The Enchantress as Enchantress so I guess I should have started that sentence with 'Zatanna refers to Enchantress...' instead of the way I did start it.

Here's some of John and Zatanna's sex-talk during the ritual:

John: "I was...runecasting [Hee hee hee] in Brighton. I had a... powerful... intimation... [hee hee hee] you were in trouble."
Zatanna: "I... I was coming [hee hee hee] for Enchantress. The witch."

Okay, that was childish. At least Junior Highish! Moving on to some of their non-innuendo filled conversation, we get this bit of nonsense:

This is one of the following: Ridiculous. Funny. Informative. Maybe it's all of them! I always thought that Zatanna could do anything she wanted just by saying backwards the things she wanted done. But maybe she only has a certain number of spells she can cast with specific backwards phrasings? Or perhaps, John Constantine is just a giant moron and doesn't know how to say words backwards unless he hears somebody else say them. If he had to actually her Zatanna say the spells of hers he now knows, than she muttered, "Ekaw pu," while she was sleeping. That's probably why John woke up to hear the other spells she cast while sleeping. Least surprising of the whole exchange: John and Zatanna are fuck buddies.

Shade is trying to collect the magic people and begins with Deadman. He fails because his method of getting people to come to him is a few rungs below asking a woman to help you put your groceries in your rundown van or approaching a group of school kids with the sad story of your lost puppy.

I was trying to tell Madame Xanadu this back in Issue #1!

Madame Xanadu next asks Shade to find the next mysterious individual on her list. The reader doesn't get to see the card. I'm going to guess that it's Etrigan since Shade says it's insane. And Shade knows insane.

Back at Shade's apartment, he mentions someone named Mindwarp. So not Etrigan. I guess Etrigan is busy in the past in his own title. I have no idea who this Mindwap person is. I wish I had my old Who's Who comics and not just the Who's Who binder! I'm pretty sure those are back in the basement of the family homestead.

Constantine tracks down Shade after a bit of travel.

I like the way Constantine travels. Except the bus part. Never again, Greyhound! Ever.

I'm not sure why Constantine tracks down Shade. Perhaps it was something he saw in his sex magic session with Zatanna. I wonder if he and Shade will now do a circle jerk ritual to find Enchantress.
Constantine doesn't actually talk with Shade. He just watches. And then has more to drink. Shade M-Vests (is that the proper term for the way he travels?) to Mindwarp's apartment.

Comic books from the New 52 Universe. Comics in the DC Universe have usually been windows into alternate DC Worlds. So is Dick Grayson actually Deadman in another world? Makes sense!

He uses the M-Vest to get a link to Mindwarp and encounters him just as he's about to do something untoward (or maybe even vile!) to a young lady. They commence talking. Even after seeing Mindwarp do some thing where he has a seizure and then lifts out of his body in a Seizure Soul, I still don't know who he is. But I now wish their was a DC Character with Tourette's that can change reality by the random things his Tourette's makes him say. He'd be in The Doom Patrol, of course.

Later, Deadman answers a question I believe I asked back when he was riding around on the Roller Coaster with that Carnival Barker Devil's Cousin guy.

Immediately after this, they hit Enchantress who apparently moved her pouting and bitching to the middle of the road. Deadman and June Moone get out of the car to help and, well, you know how these things go.


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