Monday, February 27, 2012

Green Lantern #1

Green Lantern #1 begins with Sinestro being freed and given a new Green Lantern Ring. Then all the little blue Oans gang up on Ganthet, possibly because he's the only one wearing a little green and white bib instead of red and white robes. One of the Oans, while trying to convince Ganthet that giving Sinestro a ring was a good idea [My note: Probably not a good idea.], says that thing about keeping friends close and enemies closer. What a dumb statement. Or maybe it was a warning to Ganthet. Ganthet is obviously their enemy since they keep him closer than Sinestro who flies off into deep space with his new power ring. Oh, Ganthet is obviously their enemy as well because he doesn't agree with their hive mind. Which is why they all attack him.

Hopefully stopping Ganthet before he confuses the hell out of everyone all over again.

Back on Earth, Hal Jordan goes on with his boring life now that he's been discharged from the Green Lantern Corps. Why was he discharged? I don't know! This comic series just started! But I have a feeling I'd know if I'd read Blackest Night since his fuck buddy Carol Ferris mentions not having put on her Star Sapphire Ring since they've been back. So here's another place where they're smashing the old universe into the new universe. If Blackest Night happened, then Parallax happened. If Parallax happened, then did the destruction of Coast City happen? And if the destruction of Coast City happened, then that means Superman was killed by Doomsday. And all of this happened in the last five years?

Yeah, see what I'm getting at? Just like every other big revamp DC has done, it just adds to the confusion. It's okay, though. I'll go with it for now.

Back in space, Sinestro returns to his homeworld of Korugar to find it enslaved by the yellow lanterns, his own Sinestro Corps. Sinestro kills Yellow Lantern #435 and destroys its yellow ring. Sinestro kills it by strangling it with a green cord he makes. While they're in space. Not breathing oxygen normally. While it is wearing the yellow ring that is keeping it oxygenated. I don't know, maybe I'm being too picky here. Anyway, I'm not sure if killing indiscriminately is a positive Green Lantern trait. But I'll believe that the Oans know what they're doing just like I'm willing to believe the editors at DC know what they're doing.


Back on Earth again, Jordan gets a drink thrown in his face by Carol because she doesn't want to co-sign on a lease for a car. It must suck to suddenly not be able to make your own car out of green light. Or your own airplane! Or just fly around. Or teleport! But who can understand women! She tells him earlier he needs to get back to living a normal life and then when he makes a few tentative steps towards making that living, like buying a car (or leasing one, idiot), she throws a drink in his face! That Carol is a jerk!

After his date, Hal heads back to his apartment where he finds he's been evicted because he can't just make money with his magic green lantern anymore! He also finds Sinestro waiting for him!

Blow job?

No comments:

Post a Comment