I know this isn't the actual front and back cover of the single issue but this version from the trade paperback will have to do.
Planetary #27 (December 2009)
By Warren Ellis, John Cassaday, Laura DePuy Martin, and Comicraft
Cover by John Cassaday and Laura DePuy Martin
Edited by Kristy Quinn and Ben Abernathy
This feels like one of those issues where I'm going to act like I got so engrossed in it that I forgot to write my reactions and then spend exactly three lines describing how the issue made me feel in some strange metaphorical anecdote that only 13% of readers understand (not because I'm so weird-cool but because I'm so weird-off-putting) which is really just a way to not have to admit that I was being lazy. It isn't going to be that, I assure you. But it really feels like that's something I would normally do. I don't have a lot of patience for final issues because this blog was initially meant to be a reminder of what happened in the previous month's issue just before I read the next month's issue in a series and why would I need to ever remember the final issue of something? It's a precedent I set fairly early with the final issue of The New 52 Blackhawks. But I don't feel like drawing naked pictures of Jakita giving birth to Ambrose Chase. It's probably easier just to comment on the actual story.
The story begins a short amount of time in the future (or maybe three actual years?) when Planetary has made it through 20% of Dowling's files. The world's technology in all fields has grown by, um, 20% and everybody is super grateful except for some weird billionaire playboy in Gotham. Elijah himself demands all the scientists working for Planetary move much faster because the only file he cares about is the one that will allow him to save Ambrose Chase. Since Planetary can sort through only so many files in a day, he passes along some of the work to the Hark Corporation and to Axel Brass and his team.
Meanwhile, Elijah, Jakita, and Drummer go over the events of Ambrose's death in meticulous detail to try to figure out what happened when he disappeared.
By Warren Ellis, John Cassaday, Laura DePuy Martin, and Comicraft
Cover by John Cassaday and Laura DePuy Martin
Edited by Kristy Quinn and Ben Abernathy
This feels like one of those issues where I'm going to act like I got so engrossed in it that I forgot to write my reactions and then spend exactly three lines describing how the issue made me feel in some strange metaphorical anecdote that only 13% of readers understand (not because I'm so weird-cool but because I'm so weird-off-putting) which is really just a way to not have to admit that I was being lazy. It isn't going to be that, I assure you. But it really feels like that's something I would normally do. I don't have a lot of patience for final issues because this blog was initially meant to be a reminder of what happened in the previous month's issue just before I read the next month's issue in a series and why would I need to ever remember the final issue of something? It's a precedent I set fairly early with the final issue of The New 52 Blackhawks. But I don't feel like drawing naked pictures of Jakita giving birth to Ambrose Chase. It's probably easier just to comment on the actual story.
The story begins a short amount of time in the future (or maybe three actual years?) when Planetary has made it through 20% of Dowling's files. The world's technology in all fields has grown by, um, 20% and everybody is super grateful except for some weird billionaire playboy in Gotham. Elijah himself demands all the scientists working for Planetary move much faster because the only file he cares about is the one that will allow him to save Ambrose Chase. Since Planetary can sort through only so many files in a day, he passes along some of the work to the Hark Corporation and to Axel Brass and his team.
Meanwhile, Elijah, Jakita, and Drummer go over the events of Ambrose's death in meticulous detail to try to figure out what happened when he disappeared.
I'm not great at understanding scientific diagrams (is what Drummer drew a scientific diagram?) so can somebody explain why he closed the loop on the question mark in the last panel?
Was Drummer's light pen simulation supposed to say, "There's questions surrounding Ambrose's death." And then his follow up diagram supposed to say, "That is not surprising!" See? Because he turned the question mark into an exclamation point (surprising!) and then crossed that out (Not!)? Man, Barbie was fucking right on the money. Math and science are hard.
Later, they rescue Ambrose Chase. The end!
Ha ha! Just kidding! I'm still trying to interpret Drummer's sketch! Also, what the fuck is he drawing on? Just using a light pen in air?
The supposition is that Ambrose turned off time so he didn't bleed out and die. Why that means he disappeared, I don't know. Unless the planet and everything else just moved on past him and he's floating in space in a stasis bubble on the brink of death! I don't think that's happening so maybe he just began moving so slowly that everybody else began moving too fast to see him. I know that doesn't make any sense! But explain to me how 2 plus 2 equaling 4 makes sense! You fucking can't, can you?! Stupid!
Drummer does recall a Dowling file on time travel but it was only theory and the theory was that you could only time travel back to the point the machine was created. So, again, like Primer. So that won't help them since nobody has built a time machine. But then Elijah is all, "Wells built one back in 1888 but he only went forward so your theory makes sense." And Drummer is all, "So what you're saying is we can get all the way back to 1888 if we find his time machine?"
Instead they just build the same time machine that was seen in Planetary Loves JLA: Terra Obscura. I'm not sure how it's supposed to help them though. Sorry about calling y'all stupid earlier. I guess I'm the kettle, hunh?
Later, they rescue Ambrose Chase. The end!
Ha ha! Just kidding! I'm still trying to interpret Drummer's sketch! Also, what the fuck is he drawing on? Just using a light pen in air?
The supposition is that Ambrose turned off time so he didn't bleed out and die. Why that means he disappeared, I don't know. Unless the planet and everything else just moved on past him and he's floating in space in a stasis bubble on the brink of death! I don't think that's happening so maybe he just began moving so slowly that everybody else began moving too fast to see him. I know that doesn't make any sense! But explain to me how 2 plus 2 equaling 4 makes sense! You fucking can't, can you?! Stupid!
Drummer does recall a Dowling file on time travel but it was only theory and the theory was that you could only time travel back to the point the machine was created. So, again, like Primer. So that won't help them since nobody has built a time machine. But then Elijah is all, "Wells built one back in 1888 but he only went forward so your theory makes sense." And Drummer is all, "So what you're saying is we can get all the way back to 1888 if we find his time machine?"
Instead they just build the same time machine that was seen in Planetary Loves JLA: Terra Obscura. I'm not sure how it's supposed to help them though. Sorry about calling y'all stupid earlier. I guess I'm the kettle, hunh?
Quick threading up of another loose one about the fictional person. It might be on the test later.
I bet the fictional character was meant to be Warren Ellis! Maybe it still will be. Maybe those two panels will be the last time the character's mentioned.
The team finds Ambrose in his bubble and surround him with the time machine. I guess when it works, it somehow nudges him out of his stasis bubble and two seconds into the future where they'll quickly catch up to him and save his life. But the Drummer fears that once you create a time machine, everybody in the future will come back to that point of time to witness the creation of the time machine. And thus future history will solidify and everybody can just go home and jerk off until they die because now there's no point. It's all been done, baby!
Except that's how it is anyway, Drummer, so stop worrying about it, dude! Just dig in and meet some future yous for a bit, save Ambrose, and then settle in for a couple decades of jerking off and not giving a shit. I assure you, it can be done!
The team finds Ambrose in his bubble and surround him with the time machine. I guess when it works, it somehow nudges him out of his stasis bubble and two seconds into the future where they'll quickly catch up to him and save his life. But the Drummer fears that once you create a time machine, everybody in the future will come back to that point of time to witness the creation of the time machine. And thus future history will solidify and everybody can just go home and jerk off until they die because now there's no point. It's all been done, baby!
Except that's how it is anyway, Drummer, so stop worrying about it, dude! Just dig in and meet some future yous for a bit, save Ambrose, and then settle in for a couple decades of jerking off and not giving a shit. I assure you, it can be done!
I guess the number of Planetary teams that arrive destroy Drummer's theory that time has settled forever into one timeline.
Anyway the plan works and they save Ambrose and then all the future Ambrose's step out of the future portals and they're all, "Ha ha! We didn't want to ruin the surprise!" But I have a feeling they didn't exist until his life was saved by the medical team. You know. Due to Schrodeigger or whatever. Heisendinger? Yeah, that's the one!
The Ranking!
Turning on the time machine allowed readers to see all the various futures that could have been if Warren Ellis and John Cassaday had kept creating Planetary. But they didn't because they hate writing and drawing Ambrose Chase. At least that's my takeaway! Why bring back Ambrose and then never get any more stories out of him?! Just seems a bit racist, is what I'm getting at. Unless my believing that makes me the racist? That's enough! Turn off the cameras! We're done here! There'll be no self-reflection on my watch!
Hmm, I thought I'd actually have more to say about the series as a whole. Maybe I'm too anxious over real life problems right now (that are barely problems but the slightest of things left unresolved always loom heavy over me. I don't understand the kind of people who need drama in their lives at all times! I don't even like knowing I have to meet up with friends for dinner later in the day. Just ruins the whole morning, really!) to think on it. Maybe I'll do a wrap-up post in the future. Or maybe I'll just leave at this: 27+ commentaries on a pretty fucking cool comic book.
The Ranking!
Turning on the time machine allowed readers to see all the various futures that could have been if Warren Ellis and John Cassaday had kept creating Planetary. But they didn't because they hate writing and drawing Ambrose Chase. At least that's my takeaway! Why bring back Ambrose and then never get any more stories out of him?! Just seems a bit racist, is what I'm getting at. Unless my believing that makes me the racist? That's enough! Turn off the cameras! We're done here! There'll be no self-reflection on my watch!
Hmm, I thought I'd actually have more to say about the series as a whole. Maybe I'm too anxious over real life problems right now (that are barely problems but the slightest of things left unresolved always loom heavy over me. I don't understand the kind of people who need drama in their lives at all times! I don't even like knowing I have to meet up with friends for dinner later in the day. Just ruins the whole morning, really!) to think on it. Maybe I'll do a wrap-up post in the future. Or maybe I'll just leave at this: 27+ commentaries on a pretty fucking cool comic book.
No comments:
Post a Comment