I'm assuming the Kanji reads "Planetary" because of the little bubble that makes that first symbol into "pu".
Planetary #16 (October 2003)
By Warren Ellis, John Cassaday, Laura DePuy Martin, and Richard Starkings
Cover by John Cassaday
Edited by Kristy Quinn and Scott Dunbier
This cover screams two things at me: movie poster and "We're gonna learn about the Harks, motherfuckers!" Most comic book covers usually just scream at me, "You're a pathetic loser, you virgin bitch!" So I'm actually quite thankful that this one's being so helpful what with the Asian face and the super long fingernails and the Kanji and whatnot¹. Oh, this comic book cover screams one other thing at me as well: "Don't think about how the last issue you read, Planetary #15, also had 'OCT' on the cover or how Laura Martin used to be Laura DePuy and how John Layman isn't editor anymore and how two years of your pathetic excuse for a life have passed since the last issue!" So, um, you know what, cover? I'll take that advice. I'm not going to think about that two year gap between issues at all! It's not my problem!
One thing I will note about the delay between issues as this comic book moves along. I only own the single issues up to Planetary #20 because of these delays and my self-exile from the world of comic books for nearly a decade. About eight years ago, I finally remembered that I'd never finished the series and purchased the final book in the collection so I could see how it all ends. I've only read the last seven issues the one time which means I've basically never read it at all, being that that's how my brain works. The only comic books I truly remember are Elfquest and Cerebus because I re-read them many, many times and also I was a lonely loser who often fell asleep at night pretending that he was Skywise making out with Foxfur under the stars while also listening to country music or Doctor Demento on big plastic yellow radio headphones.
No, you know what? I made up the last sentence of that last paragraph. You can disregard it as me being stupid and silly. Especially the part about how I'd have sexual fantasies about being Skywise. That part was totally just a joke. Ha ha!
By Warren Ellis, John Cassaday, Laura DePuy Martin, and Richard Starkings
Cover by John Cassaday
Edited by Kristy Quinn and Scott Dunbier
This cover screams two things at me: movie poster and "We're gonna learn about the Harks, motherfuckers!" Most comic book covers usually just scream at me, "You're a pathetic loser, you virgin bitch!" So I'm actually quite thankful that this one's being so helpful what with the Asian face and the super long fingernails and the Kanji and whatnot¹. Oh, this comic book cover screams one other thing at me as well: "Don't think about how the last issue you read, Planetary #15, also had 'OCT' on the cover or how Laura Martin used to be Laura DePuy and how John Layman isn't editor anymore and how two years of your pathetic excuse for a life have passed since the last issue!" So, um, you know what, cover? I'll take that advice. I'm not going to think about that two year gap between issues at all! It's not my problem!
One thing I will note about the delay between issues as this comic book moves along. I only own the single issues up to Planetary #20 because of these delays and my self-exile from the world of comic books for nearly a decade. About eight years ago, I finally remembered that I'd never finished the series and purchased the final book in the collection so I could see how it all ends. I've only read the last seven issues the one time which means I've basically never read it at all, being that that's how my brain works. The only comic books I truly remember are Elfquest and Cerebus because I re-read them many, many times and also I was a lonely loser who often fell asleep at night pretending that he was Skywise making out with Foxfur under the stars while also listening to country music or Doctor Demento on big plastic yellow radio headphones.
No, you know what? I made up the last sentence of that last paragraph. You can disregard it as me being stupid and silly. Especially the part about how I'd have sexual fantasies about being Skywise. That part was totally just a joke. Ha ha!
This is the end result of Anna Hark's Night's Stars Attack. It occurs on Page 10.
Being that the first ten pages of this script must have been something like, "Hey, John? Did you see Hidden Tiger, Crouching Dragon? Just come up with a fight scene like in that movie for the first half of the book. *cough, cough* I'm a widdle sick boi. :(", I decided to read up on the whole two year delay. My extensive research uncovered that Ellis was sick and Cassaday had other work engagements. I was fairly certain the delay was on Ellis's end because Cassaday knocks the fucking fight scenes out of the martial arts ball park where they play martial arts ball. I don't know if you can plagiarize a movie's fight scenes but Cassaday does them so well, I just assumed that he projected scenes from Sneaky Tiger, Rambunctious Dragon on his desk and just traced the fuck out of them. It's also possible my pretend script had too many words and Ellis just sent Cassaday a film reel of the movie with a Post-it note stuck to it that read, "Planetary #16".
In the second half of the comic book, Warren Ellis decided to have the characters use more words than "Die!" and "No you die!" That's probably because Elijah Snow and Anna Hark needed to reveal more back story while flirting with each other.
In the second half of the comic book, Warren Ellis decided to have the characters use more words than "Die!" and "No you die!" That's probably because Elijah Snow and Anna Hark needed to reveal more back story while flirting with each other.
The sexual tension has me throbbing like a massive erection!²
Whenever somebody tells me something I didn't know, I always respond, "Who cares? Nobody, that's who! Such useless information!" Especially if it's information about my father. If he wanted me to know what you're telling me, he wouldn't have abandoned me when I was two years old! Then I'd hope they'd leave quickly so I could pull out my jar of tears from under my bed and explosively add another half inch of volume to its salty contents.
In this conversation with Anna Hark, I think it's the first time Elijah Snow is referred to as "the ghost of the 20th Century" which I fucking love. Jenny Sparks is the Spirit of the 20th Century and we know there are many more Century Babies than Jenny. So labeling them all as various aspects of the century seems like a natural progression to their identities. But I don't think Ellis ever really commits to that. I'm not even sure what "the ghost of the 20th century" means. But I love it and even if it's just Anna Hark's personal manner of referring to the man who tried to stay hidden as he also created a super secret world organization, it's pretty fucking great.
Elijah lets Anna know that he met a witness who saw her working with Alternate Dimension Fantastic Four at City Zero and he won't stand for it. He wants to work with her to keep the world safe. He wants to befriend her and her organization, utilizing her secrets for the benefit of the world. But he needs to know that she'll turn against Nazi Fantastic Four. She says there's always been a Hark to make sure the sun comes up and she implies that working with The Four may have been her only option to keep peace in the world. But now Elijah is offering her a better choice. Maybe work with the team that didn't choose a symbol that's basically an unfinished Swastika, hmm?
In this conversation with Anna Hark, I think it's the first time Elijah Snow is referred to as "the ghost of the 20th Century" which I fucking love. Jenny Sparks is the Spirit of the 20th Century and we know there are many more Century Babies than Jenny. So labeling them all as various aspects of the century seems like a natural progression to their identities. But I don't think Ellis ever really commits to that. I'm not even sure what "the ghost of the 20th century" means. But I love it and even if it's just Anna Hark's personal manner of referring to the man who tried to stay hidden as he also created a super secret world organization, it's pretty fucking great.
Elijah lets Anna know that he met a witness who saw her working with Alternate Dimension Fantastic Four at City Zero and he won't stand for it. He wants to work with her to keep the world safe. He wants to befriend her and her organization, utilizing her secrets for the benefit of the world. But he needs to know that she'll turn against Nazi Fantastic Four. She says there's always been a Hark to make sure the sun comes up and she implies that working with The Four may have been her only option to keep peace in the world. But now Elijah is offering her a better choice. Maybe work with the team that didn't choose a symbol that's basically an unfinished Swastika, hmm?
If I were Elijah, I'd be nervous about this meeting because what if these two had some kind of weird sexual history that he's yet to remember?!
While discussing how Wilder, the man who became a Shiftship Engineer by stepping on an ancient sacrificial stone, Hark alludes to Jakita Wagner being an orphan brought into Planetary by Elijah Stone. In a previous issue, Elijah³ mentions how Jakita is older than she looks. I still suspect she's the daughter of the woman saved by Alternate Dimension Incredible Hulk just at the edge of the Gamma Bomb's explosion mentioned in the introductory story published in, um, Gen-13 or something?
Hark smiles at Elijah which apparently means she agrees to work with Planetary. It's a bit maddening that they understand each other on this level. It's like when somebody hangs up a telephone in a television show without actually saying goodbye or indicating that the conversation is over in any way. Am I the only one that bothers? Or is that how people actually do things?!
After Anna smiles, Elijah calls in her orphan employee Wilder so she can see what's become of him. They hug and Elijah looks on like the Ghost of the 20th Century before disappearing to haunt somebody else for a bit.
The Ranking!
Since Elijah's memory returned and he decided he was done running, he's pretty much just began collecting his army, either by outwardly recruiting them or by simply making sure everybody in his organization are well taken care of so that they'll back him when four godlike shits hit the fan. I know the final issue is some kind of epilogue so that leaves ten more issues for the final confrontation. I figure Ellis and Cassaday will need a full issue for the Randall Dowling battle and another full issue for the William Leather battle. But I think Alternate Dimension Thing will go down fast, maybe he's already even dead from his transformation. We haven't really seen him yet and I don't remember much about him except I think he doesn't play a major role in the climax.⁴ Alternate Dimension Nazi Sue Storm feels like she'll go down quick. Somebody will call her a Nazi and punch her tits off and that'll be that. Anyway, according to the next cover, Elijah Snow suplexes a sabre-toothed tiger!
__________________________________________________________________________________
¹ The whatnot does not indicate that I had anything else to say. It is, in fact, the exact opposite. I had run out of things to say but didn't think a list of two things was enough. I mean three things. I can count.
² I really need to work on my metaphors.
³ Or somebody. It's the forest that my brain remembers. It doesn't give a fuck about the trees.
⁴ I can't wait to find out though. Maybe I should write shorter entries so I can read more than one comic book per day!
Hark smiles at Elijah which apparently means she agrees to work with Planetary. It's a bit maddening that they understand each other on this level. It's like when somebody hangs up a telephone in a television show without actually saying goodbye or indicating that the conversation is over in any way. Am I the only one that bothers? Or is that how people actually do things?!
After Anna smiles, Elijah calls in her orphan employee Wilder so she can see what's become of him. They hug and Elijah looks on like the Ghost of the 20th Century before disappearing to haunt somebody else for a bit.
The Ranking!
Since Elijah's memory returned and he decided he was done running, he's pretty much just began collecting his army, either by outwardly recruiting them or by simply making sure everybody in his organization are well taken care of so that they'll back him when four godlike shits hit the fan. I know the final issue is some kind of epilogue so that leaves ten more issues for the final confrontation. I figure Ellis and Cassaday will need a full issue for the Randall Dowling battle and another full issue for the William Leather battle. But I think Alternate Dimension Thing will go down fast, maybe he's already even dead from his transformation. We haven't really seen him yet and I don't remember much about him except I think he doesn't play a major role in the climax.⁴ Alternate Dimension Nazi Sue Storm feels like she'll go down quick. Somebody will call her a Nazi and punch her tits off and that'll be that. Anyway, according to the next cover, Elijah Snow suplexes a sabre-toothed tiger!
__________________________________________________________________________________
¹ The whatnot does not indicate that I had anything else to say. It is, in fact, the exact opposite. I had run out of things to say but didn't think a list of two things was enough. I mean three things. I can count.
² I really need to work on my metaphors.
³ Or somebody. It's the forest that my brain remembers. It doesn't give a fuck about the trees.
⁴ I can't wait to find out though. Maybe I should write shorter entries so I can read more than one comic book per day!
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