Which fucking editor gave the green light to this fucking cover?!
Deathstroke the Terminator #2 (April 2026)
By Tony Fleecs, Carmine Di Giandomenico, Ivan Plascencia, and Wes Abbott
Cover by Carmine Di Giandomencio
Edited by Marquis Draper and Brittany Holzherr
I'm not claiming I know how to create a successful, eye-catching comic book cover. If I knew how to be successful at even one single thing, do you think I'd spend the majority of my time criticizing every other artist in the world's hard work? You don't bitch and moan about every slightest thing when you're successful and content! But since I'm not either of those two things, how about I stop explaining why I'm such an asshole and just get on with being one? Good? Great!
Why is Slade facing away from the reader? Was there a mandate on all "Next Level" second issues to have the character facing away from the reader because Lobo was facing away too! Let me check Batwoman #2. Hmm. Unless the back of her head looks like her face, she's definitely not facing backwards. Being it's the second issue, I'm going to assume it's too late for the "This Character is Back! Get it?!" cover. So what was the decision to create a mostly orangish-red cover focusing on Slade's old man back?
I think I understand it but the road to understanding just happens to go through Whinelikeafuckingloserville. The problem with most people online¹ is that they get sidetracked in Whinelikeafuckingloserville and never come to terms with the thing they decided to shit on. They're so up their own assholes, believing they're the smartest piece of shit in every room and that they're instincts are so great that a first impression is the only impression they'll ever need, that they misunderstand the entire world around them. But unlike them, I won't stop at "This cover is shit!" because I'm wrong about everything.
We can't see Slade's face because he's sad, guilty, and probably slightly irritated. He's removed his mask in exasperation at his failure and mourning at the loss of his friend. The orangish-red color mixed with black suggest anger and depression. We also realize that Slade's life has become so entirely focused on violence that his shower has been turned into a weapon arsenal.
He is in the shower, right? This is how I stand in the shower every morning as I contemplate the sad orgasm that just trickled out of my tired body, a metaphor for my need to find joy in life but ultimately fine only monotony and despair and semen. Although I seldom wear my pants and pouch belt when I'm showering so I could be wrong. Maybe Slade's shirtless because his shirt is attached to his mask! Yeah, that's probably it.
This issue begins immediately after Slade was blown up at the end of last issue. The soldiers who blew Slade up weren't told that he's got the most powerful healing factor in the DC Universe so when he pops out shooting at them, they all shit their pants and die. Meanwhile, Slade has a flashback to "Years ago" just after he lost his eye.
By Tony Fleecs, Carmine Di Giandomenico, Ivan Plascencia, and Wes Abbott
Cover by Carmine Di Giandomencio
Edited by Marquis Draper and Brittany Holzherr
I'm not claiming I know how to create a successful, eye-catching comic book cover. If I knew how to be successful at even one single thing, do you think I'd spend the majority of my time criticizing every other artist in the world's hard work? You don't bitch and moan about every slightest thing when you're successful and content! But since I'm not either of those two things, how about I stop explaining why I'm such an asshole and just get on with being one? Good? Great!
Why is Slade facing away from the reader? Was there a mandate on all "Next Level" second issues to have the character facing away from the reader because Lobo was facing away too! Let me check Batwoman #2. Hmm. Unless the back of her head looks like her face, she's definitely not facing backwards. Being it's the second issue, I'm going to assume it's too late for the "This Character is Back! Get it?!" cover. So what was the decision to create a mostly orangish-red cover focusing on Slade's old man back?
I think I understand it but the road to understanding just happens to go through Whinelikeafuckingloserville. The problem with most people online¹ is that they get sidetracked in Whinelikeafuckingloserville and never come to terms with the thing they decided to shit on. They're so up their own assholes, believing they're the smartest piece of shit in every room and that they're instincts are so great that a first impression is the only impression they'll ever need, that they misunderstand the entire world around them. But unlike them, I won't stop at "This cover is shit!" because I'm wrong about everything.
We can't see Slade's face because he's sad, guilty, and probably slightly irritated. He's removed his mask in exasperation at his failure and mourning at the loss of his friend. The orangish-red color mixed with black suggest anger and depression. We also realize that Slade's life has become so entirely focused on violence that his shower has been turned into a weapon arsenal.
He is in the shower, right? This is how I stand in the shower every morning as I contemplate the sad orgasm that just trickled out of my tired body, a metaphor for my need to find joy in life but ultimately fine only monotony and despair and semen. Although I seldom wear my pants and pouch belt when I'm showering so I could be wrong. Maybe Slade's shirtless because his shirt is attached to his mask! Yeah, that's probably it.
This issue begins immediately after Slade was blown up at the end of last issue. The soldiers who blew Slade up weren't told that he's got the most powerful healing factor in the DC Universe so when he pops out shooting at them, they all shit their pants and die. Meanwhile, Slade has a flashback to "Years ago" just after he lost his eye.
Back then, Wintergreen recommended that Deathstork murder his wife. So I guess it's good that woman-hating bastard is dead!
I mentioned in my "review" of Issue #1 that I own every series of Deathstork ever published. But that doesn't mean I remember them all! But I think what happened was Adeline was angry that Slade got Grant killed and Joseph's throat cut and she was all, "I should probably hire some people to kill him!" And then she failed or something but managed to take his eye as a reminder to Slade that he got most of his kids killed. Maybe she even pulled the trigger herself! Like I said, my brain sucks donkey dong.²
Deathstork confirms a few panels later that Adeline blew his eye out onto the coffee table because Slade was responsible for their son Grant's death. So my brain mostly remembers stuff. Just not clearly. I wonder if I let too much ocean water into my ears when I was younger and it brined my brain? Stupid Pacific Ocean!
After the memory is over, Deathstork kills all of the soldiers trying to arrest him. None of them can tell him who killed Wintergreen and robbed him blind. So he shoots them all in their ignorant faces in a way that says, "Let's see Batman ignore this!"
Deathstork confirms a few panels later that Adeline blew his eye out onto the coffee table because Slade was responsible for their son Grant's death. So my brain mostly remembers stuff. Just not clearly. I wonder if I let too much ocean water into my ears when I was younger and it brined my brain? Stupid Pacific Ocean!
After the memory is over, Deathstork kills all of the soldiers trying to arrest him. None of them can tell him who killed Wintergreen and robbed him blind. So he shoots them all in their ignorant faces in a way that says, "Let's see Batman ignore this!"
When did this turn into a Grendel comic? I wonder if the Pander Brothers can sue for this layout?
I think those boxes were actually too big for the Pander Brothers to sue. Imagine if you could sue other people because they use your stylistic layouts? Keith Giffen would get rich off of all the other nine panel pages out there! At least until he was sued by Sherwood Schwartz³.
You know what? Ignore all that if it wasn't the Pander Brothers who did all those small box bits in Grendel. That might have been Matt Wagner himself! Man, I should probably do research before making pop culture references that my pickled brain only half remembers. Stupid Picklific Ocean!
Deathstork limps away from the base he just broke into, bleeding out and on the verge of dying. Or just passing out, I guess, since his healing is so good⁴. As he does so, he radios somebody he doesn't usually radio because Wintergreen is the guy he usually radios. The guy on the other end of the call keeps quipping and being funny and makes a joke about Batman kicking his ass. I hope it's Dick Grayson⁵, especially after he's all, "You were on a blind drop?! But that's against all ethical and moral rules! I can't help you if you're out there murdering probably innocent people and all of the innocent soldiers guarding him and two sexy young ladies too!" But Deathstork is all, "Look. Just fire up the Bat computer and get me some information about this client that just killed Alfred's best friend and stole all of my money!"
Whoever's at the other end of the call won't help Slade until Slade pays him and currently Slade has zero dollars. Which means Deathstork's going to have to go on r/INeedSomebodyKilledFast and take a few jobs to get back on his feet. But first he has to get back on his feet. Which should happen sometime after he passes out and/or enjoys a recent memory of having breakfast with Rose as she chastises him for being a murderer. But before he can finish the memory or click "ACCEPT" on the job, his safehouse is attacked by more soldiers. But that's okay because Deathstork can't be killed by normal soldiers! It doesn't matter how many guns or rockets or grenades or tanks they have because Slade has a sword!
You know what? Ignore all that if it wasn't the Pander Brothers who did all those small box bits in Grendel. That might have been Matt Wagner himself! Man, I should probably do research before making pop culture references that my pickled brain only half remembers. Stupid Picklific Ocean!
Deathstork limps away from the base he just broke into, bleeding out and on the verge of dying. Or just passing out, I guess, since his healing is so good⁴. As he does so, he radios somebody he doesn't usually radio because Wintergreen is the guy he usually radios. The guy on the other end of the call keeps quipping and being funny and makes a joke about Batman kicking his ass. I hope it's Dick Grayson⁵, especially after he's all, "You were on a blind drop?! But that's against all ethical and moral rules! I can't help you if you're out there murdering probably innocent people and all of the innocent soldiers guarding him and two sexy young ladies too!" But Deathstork is all, "Look. Just fire up the Bat computer and get me some information about this client that just killed Alfred's best friend and stole all of my money!"
Whoever's at the other end of the call won't help Slade until Slade pays him and currently Slade has zero dollars. Which means Deathstork's going to have to go on r/INeedSomebodyKilledFast and take a few jobs to get back on his feet. But first he has to get back on his feet. Which should happen sometime after he passes out and/or enjoys a recent memory of having breakfast with Rose as she chastises him for being a murderer. But before he can finish the memory or click "ACCEPT" on the job, his safehouse is attacked by more soldiers. But that's okay because Deathstork can't be killed by normal soldiers! It doesn't matter how many guns or rockets or grenades or tanks they have because Slade has a sword!
Swords don't run out of ammunition!
Luckily for the client (but not for all of the soldiers because Slade killed them all), not everybody hunting Slade is a normal soldier.
Whew. I'm glad they put the text on there because I never would have remembered Deathblow's stupid name!⁶
The Ranking!
It's only been two issues so I don't mind that they keep teasing the reveal of the person behind Wintergreen's murder. I think most people would expect it would play out like this without a reveal but there are more than the one way to keep people hooked. A reveal at the end of the first issue wouldn't have been terrible because just revealing Slade's antagonist would draw people back for the eventual confrontation between them (assuming it was an exciting enough reveal!). That's usually my choice but I think it takes a bit more confidence for a writer to not lead the reader on. The mystery always seems like the easier way to draw people in. I don't think that's true but in this case, it's fine! The story's working, Deadshot has been revealed for next issue (and Deathblow, I guess!), and I'm even more curious about the young chin (male or female? I'm not sure!) that Slade was attempting to get help from than I am about the main antagonist! The person Slade called for help was really worried about Slade breaking a bunch of rules Slade made by asking this person for help. Does that mean this person is a young woman whom Slade is legally not supposed to be within 300 feet of?!
__________________________________________________________________________________
¹ I could probably have omitted this word.
² Lucky brain.
³ That's a The Brady Bunch joke!
⁴ Except when it comes to eyeballs.
⁵ But it's probably Jason Todd. Which will be okay because he's not being written by Scott Lobdell.
⁶ If you love Deathblow and hate that I think his name is stupid, just replace that caption with this one: "It looks like Deadshot has fleas!"
It's only been two issues so I don't mind that they keep teasing the reveal of the person behind Wintergreen's murder. I think most people would expect it would play out like this without a reveal but there are more than the one way to keep people hooked. A reveal at the end of the first issue wouldn't have been terrible because just revealing Slade's antagonist would draw people back for the eventual confrontation between them (assuming it was an exciting enough reveal!). That's usually my choice but I think it takes a bit more confidence for a writer to not lead the reader on. The mystery always seems like the easier way to draw people in. I don't think that's true but in this case, it's fine! The story's working, Deadshot has been revealed for next issue (and Deathblow, I guess!), and I'm even more curious about the young chin (male or female? I'm not sure!) that Slade was attempting to get help from than I am about the main antagonist! The person Slade called for help was really worried about Slade breaking a bunch of rules Slade made by asking this person for help. Does that mean this person is a young woman whom Slade is legally not supposed to be within 300 feet of?!
__________________________________________________________________________________
¹ I could probably have omitted this word.
² Lucky brain.
³ That's a The Brady Bunch joke!
⁴ Except when it comes to eyeballs.
⁵ But it's probably Jason Todd. Which will be okay because he's not being written by Scott Lobdell.
⁶ If you love Deathblow and hate that I think his name is stupid, just replace that caption with this one: "It looks like Deadshot has fleas!"
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ReplyDeletei love deathbro. his name is perfeck