Monday, May 8, 2017

Wonder Woman #21


Has nobody complained to DC about how boring the Wonder Woman covers have been lately? I acknowledge that the artist spent a lot of time on her hair for some reason. It's the part of Wonder Woman I want to look at the least! Plus the artist probably could have thrown in a building or lake in the background if they hadn't spent so much time on hair details.

The Review!
Wonder Woman discovers that all the nonsense surrounding her life, all the lies and false stories and DC Reboots, have been Ares' way of leading her to his prison so she can free him. Also in his prison keeping him company all these years? Izzy! But not the faceless thing that Veronica thought was her daughter. No, the real Izzy (her essence or soul or personality or whatever you want to call it depending on how liberal and kooky your spirituality is) has been hanging out in Ares' prison keeping him company. She seems pretty calm about it all. Deimos and Phobos also managed to sneak in and are probably off in a corner de-doggifying themselves. Steve Trevor and Cheetah were left outside the prison to scowl at each other.

The Ranking!
No change. This story almost certainly reads better in a collected edition without being constantly interrupted by the other Wonder Woman story. I sort of like some of it but, overall, I just feel I don't get enough story each month. I don't mind slow paced stories but I have to have some kind of connection to the characters if I'm going to be interested in them barely moving the plot along. And I don't really give a shit about Steve Trevor or Wonder Woman. The only characters I've been curious about were Phobos and Deimos and they've hardly been in it at all. Do they regularly sniff each other's butts? Do they eat poo? Chase squirrels? Have they ever broken into the closet and eaten a full bag of dog biscuits? Who's connected to their favorite humping leg? They really could use a miniseries.

I was kidding, DC. Do not publish a six issue series about Deimos and Phobos as Dobermans. Maybe a short one-shot! But knowing you idiots, you'll ask a writer to stretch a ten page story into one hundred and twenty pages. And they'll do it but they won't do it in a way that makes the story better! They'll just add a lot more boring interludes that don't matter. Probably a couple of double splash pages with the dogs shitting on the neighbor's lawn. Just...just forget I said anything, if you can. I knew that time I asked for a Larfleeze ongoing that I'd regret it and boy was I right! He was much better as an eight page back-up story.

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