Thursday, March 17, 2016

Constantine the Hellblazer #10

John winds up in Faerie and is about to get really, really laid.

Rating: No change.

Spoiler: John doesn't get laid. He doesn't take the Faerie bait which means he doesn't fuck himself silly while visiting the one realm in the DC Youniverse where even comic book fans can get some. After having sex in Faerie, you probably wind up something's dinner but banging a Fairy is probably worth dying immediately after.

Constantine winds up back in New York where his adventure started but now he not only has Lord Neron after him but probably Lady Alexandriel the Pixie as well.

Constantine breaks up with Oliver because friends of John always die and John is beginning to feel bad that by dating Oliver, Oliver's kids are going to wind up without a father figure. But Oliver won't take "It's not me, it's you" lying down. He hires a demonic babysitter and hits the town to find John and get him back. He doesn't purposefully hire a demonic babysitter! It's just that Craigslist doesn't really vet the people who put up advertisements for their services, so you get what you get. Usually when you want a used couch or a one-night romantic encounter involving scrambled eggs, things work out as planned. But occasionally you'll encounter an asshole who isn't being totally honest about their resume or the amount of miles on the Jeep they're selling.

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