Thursday, June 25, 2015

Detective Comics #41


Insert toothy blowjob joke here.

Detective Comics has become a comic book about Harvey Bullock which I am completely for. Batman starring Jim Gordon doesn't work because Jim Gordon is not Batman nor has he put in the time to be Batman. I get that Batman #41 was basically Snyder's essay trying to convince the reader to buy into it. But I'm stubbornly not going to. But this comic book is called Detective Comics and Harvey Bullock is a detective so it's okay for Harvey to be the star of this comic book. Rules. I just love rules! If you're reading my Detective Comic book reviews in order and you just read the Endgame issue, just ignore everything I said in that one about how I love anarchy because today I'm into rules! The more rules the better! Especially if the main punishment for breaking rules is spanking.

This issue begins with Harvey about to have sex while Commissioner Batman battles a guy in a Halloween skeleton costume. At least I think it's Harvey! He's got a bit of a gut and stubble and he's going on a bit about how crazy it is that he's about to have sex with a dead woman. Or a supposedly dead woman because the woman must be Yip. Who else is currently interested in Harvey Bullock? Who else has ever been interested in Harvey Bullock?! He's a slob!


Don't worry! This is sex from the guy's point of view so the comic didn't get a Teen Plus rating.

Commissioner Batman blows up and apparently Harvey does too because he turns on the light and tells Yip their date is over. That's when the comic book flashes back to three weeks ago so readers can get caught up on why Yip would let Harvey put his Bullock in her Nancy.

Three weeks ago Commissioner Maggie Sawyer asked Harvey Bullock to lead the Commissioner Batman team. But Harvey doesn't want to play second fiddle to a guy playing a huge armored fiddle with bunny rabbit ears. Unless that armored fiddle player is Jim Gordon, of course. But Jim has yet to agree to be Commissioner Batman. I guess, three weeks ago, Jim was still on leave after the whole killing two hundred civilians in the line of duty fiasco. Until Jim returns, Harvey wants to keep searching for the real Batman but Commissioner Maggie won't let him. So Harvey goes back to his old job where he pouts, eats danishes, and grumbles a lot.

Two weeks ago, Maggie is pressing Jim to find out if he's decided to be Commissioner Batman yet. The suspense is killing me! Will he accept?! Won't he?! Oh wait. I already read Batman #41 and the first few pages of this comic which reveal that he will eventually accept. Also the Sneak Peeks of Batman and Detective Comics spoiled it. I guess it isn't supposed to be a tense moment at all. Which means what? This is just filler?!

One week ago, Bullock starts a brawl between some bikers and some off-duty cops in a "cop bar." Fuck you with the "cop bar" and keeping non-cops out of it. If I were the owner, I'd...well, since the owner is probably a retired cop, I'd probably allow the cops to run off all of the other customers. Montoya is there as well. Doesn't that lesbian know this is a cop bar?!


I think Montoya eating tacos is a lesbian joke in bad taste? Or is that my bad taste just coloring an innocent taco eating scene?

I hope no civilians come along and try to order tacos off of that Cop Taco Truck!

Zero weeks ago, Harvey and Renee and Yip have all been assigned to Team Batman. They're arrived at the big Commissioner Batman Versus Skeleton Man fight and it's time to end this comic book somehow. I'm not even sure what it's been about so far! Convincing Bullock to be part of the team? Reintroducing Renee Montoya to The New 52? Sorry! To the DCyou? Getting Yip reinstated after shooting that Anarky kid? Oh! That's what it's been about! Forming a team. I guess the final beat will be something about trust or what's gonna work?

Um, teamwork! Teamwork is gonna work!

The final page returns to one week ago so that Renee can reveal to Harvey that Jim will be Batman. The reader is also allowed to overhear a phone call to Yip from somebody telling her to kill them all. I guess that's why Yip has to be "killed" in the Sneak Peek. Because somebody has their hooks in here. But I'm sure by faking her death in the Sneak Peek, it'll allow her to be free of whoever is blackmailing her to kill cops. Probably. Or maybe Harvey, just like every other character in DC Comics, isn't allowed to be in a relationship for very long. He had sex with Yip and that's enough, Harvey. You know what happens next. Somebody get another fridge!

Detective Comics #41 Rating: No change. Nothing really happened in this issue. The Sneak Peek turned this issue into preamble and most of it was preamble that wasn't even needed. I wish Gouverneur Morris had written this preamble! Then it probably would have concentrated on the sex between Harvey and Yip which would have been more exciting than twenty pages of Harvey Bullock refusing to be on Team Batman.

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