This looks fucking awful.
I just told you! Her last name is McTrigon!
Dammit, Red Robin! Stop thinking like me! It's fucking embarrassing to comment on this comic book and then have something Scott Lobdell wrote echo my sentiments!
I'm pretty sure, judging by this adorable smile and Beast Boy's word balloon, that Tyler Kirkham doesn't actually read the script while drawing the panels. Fuck it. I don't blame him.
Also, I saw a coyote last night crossing a freeway offramp. He stopped and looked back at me, watching as I passed. So fucking cute! And probably vicious! But only because it's in his nature to eat things when it's hungry! We would look pretty vicious too if our food wasn't so thoroughly processed before we stick it in our gobs! Especially the meat eaters, amirite? Hell, just watching people eat chicken on the bone is halfway to being a scene from a nature documentary.
Magically (unless it's so scientifically complex that I can only perceive it as magic), Raven has lost the influence of Trigon during their time travel escapades! In just a few panels, we learn that Lobdell has dropped all of his scary subplot for the team being betrayed by Raven because this comic book has been cancelled! No need to keep the Raven Bomb primed when DC has told you to get the fuck away from the Teen Titans! That was a pretty stupid, boring, cliche subplot anyway.
Where are Beast Boy's other six tentacles?
Unless this is The Way. Oh! If The Light is killed, The Way can always find some partner named The Curds.
Nobody called them people! Nowhere! Not in any word balloon on any previous page ever in the existence of humans across all space and time! I don't think the editors read the script either. Fuck it. I don't blame them.
Holy shit God fuck me. I hate Scott Lobdell's writing so much! But I'm sure it's just me, right? He's actually really competent, right?
By "about a century" is probably the worst guesstimating I've ever seen.
While the Teen Titans struggle under their sudden ineptitude and inability to go on the offensive, The Light (or The Way?) is sliced open. This causes The Way (or The Light?) to fade from existence. The person doing the slicing and the saving and possibly the killing?
Skitters! She finally figured out how to be useful!
Then Skitters recounts her Secret Origin and her Metamorphosis into a Super Hero that might actually be of some use to the Teen Titans. Before, she was either a raging monster or a silky bean bag. Now she's always Skitters but she gets to be in control. Also, she's the smartest person ever or something.
Next shitty subplot to wrap up! The idiot known as Grymm!
Gar knocks him out and then the Teen Titans' Yacht blows up. The Narrator says, "Curious to see who lived--and who died? Don't dare miss the Teen Titans Annual #3 by Scott Lobdell and Kenneth Rocafort!" The image above the Narration Box shows the yacht exploding and everyone hiding behind Bunker's Purple Bricks. So nobody dies, you stupid blurb. Also, nobody is going to buy your stupid Annual if you advertise that it's written by Scott Lobdell! Except for me. I'll be buying it.
I hate myself so much.
Too bad that's not the end of the comic book. But I'll keep the Solstice and Kid Flash stuff short. Let's just see how it begins!
Get ready, kids! Earth is going to be a destroyed prison planet called Takron-Galtos in merely 100 years! Also, it will somehow wind up on the other side of the galaxy! In 100 years! A century. 100 years. One. Hundred. Years. One Century. One.
Kid Flash and Solstice hug and declare they will do something or other. Who fucking cares?
This comic book has already gone on long enough so I don't think I'm going to comment on the Bunker and Beast Boy story that concludes the issue. Even if the first group of Narration Boxes have serious errors in them. I will use all of my willpower to refrain from pointing out the errors!
Teen Titans #30 Rating: As if I need to go on any further about how much I hate this comic book.