Sinestro #1

Is Sinestro playing the new Total Immersion: Elder Scrolls Game?

When did Sinestro's forehead get so small? Remember when it towered over everything?! Remember his voice from the Legion of Doom cartoons! It sounded like somebody speaking English with an unidentifiable accent while gargling semen! So, you know, exactly like Tommy Wiseau's voice!

I don't have anything left to say about Sinestro. I covered it all here, and here, and here as well. If you're curious about the Piss Colored Crown Prince of Piss Crime, you can read those links. Remember, kids: reading is half the battle!

Now that we're all super refreshed with super knowledge about this super villain, let's see if Cullen Bunn can write! Briefly looking up his career, it seems he wrote Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe which is probably funny. Unless it's not funny. Either way, I hope Sinestro has a sense of humor! He never has had one before but soft reboots are the way of the world! Which is unfortunate since hard reboots are so much more useful. And sexy.

This issue begins first person confessional style which seems to be the norm for comic books today. I've come to accept it since it's better than a time before when an omniscient narrator stated some of these same facts but without the title character's personality behind it. But I'm still not overly happy with it. It's like reading the protagonist's diary as we watch the current action unfold. Sometimes, like in this issue, the beginning Narration Boxes work like thought balloons, so we're seeing Sinestro's current thoughts about his location and situation and beliefs about faith being for assholes (his words; not mine! (okay, actually those were my words. But they were based on his thoughts!)). But the main reason I'm not a fan of this first person confessional style in a comic book is that it just seems lazy. It's like the writer isn't writing to the medium. This entire beginning scene with Sinestro silently worshiping at an ancient altar while a Centitiger stalks him could have been done without any Narration Boxes at all. It would have been effective although, obviously, in a very different way. Plus we wouldn't have been able to see Cullen Bunn tickle all those words' taints with his literary pen.

I don't know why so many writers are afraid to let the art tell the story. Comic books should not have to completely rely on one or the other. Let the art do the heavy lifting! I don't need to be constantly told what to think while looking at images. If I did, I'd watch the local news every night.

Sinestro has been busy killing Centitigers, waiting until the day the Centitigers learn and adapt and finally get the upper hand. But before he can finish his Suicide by Well Trained Centitiger plan, he's saved by a Vampiric Cloud with a Yellow Ring.

I think she had something to do with the Book of the Black earlier in the Convoluted Histories of the Lantern Corps.

Lyssa has come to ask Sinestro if he'll come back and lead the Sinestro Corps. She's upset that it's still called the Sinestro Corps but Sinestro isn't leading it. It could be called the Arkillo Corps but nobody's quite sure if the "Double L" should be pronounced like an "L" or a "Y". One thing Arkillo is doing is recruiting lots and lots of fear mongers. But Lyssa isn't happy about that either. She won't be happy until the leader of the Sinestro Corps is actually Sinestro.

Lyssa also seems to be concerned by a Space Cult known as The Paling.

What is up with Eaglesham? Does he steal all of his visuals from The Elder Scrolls games?

Apparently the next great cosmic crisis coming down the Green Lantern's driveway is the Anti-Emotion Movement. A wave of apathy is going to come crashing down upon the ring bearers! The light from the Lanterns' rings will simply dissipate in the face of The Paling's ability to not care any less.

I'm not sure I see what's wrong with The Paling. Can't they just be left alone? If they're against emotion, then they have no emotional stake in wiping out emotion. Can't they just be left alone to sit on their beanbags smoking weed and playing super mario kart? I know the Green Lanterns won't stand for The Paling, but does Sinestro have to get involved? Hal Jordan will be all, "They can't live in a way that denies that my way of life is the real way to live life! I must stop them!" Sinestro should just shrug his shoulders and go back to getting eaten.

The Paling really doesn't seem any different than the other cosmic crises the Lantern Corps wind up facing. They already seem to be just another entropic group moving across the universe assimilating everything into their way of being. They're just the Third Army reskinned. Unless they're different somehow! I am judging them after only having read three panels about them!

Lyssa convinces Sinestro that he needs to get off his ass because she's seen the future. She has linked with the Book of Parallax. That's a handy way to motivate characters and get plots moving. Forget organic story structures! Let's just have a woman that can say, "Oh hells no! Shit is happening soon that needs you to get your ass in gear Sinestro!" And Sinestro will go, "Fuck off, woman! I do what Sinestro says I do!" And Lyssa pulls out a carrot on a stick and says, "But your people yet live! Remember your people? Don't you love your people?!" And Sinestro then falls to his knees and screams, "MY PEOPLE! I AM COMING!"

Some Korugarians are now being used as take-out to feed The Paling.

Sinestro rescues five of his lost people and then heads off to locate his Sinestro Corps. They are holed up in an asteroid planning another war against The Green Lanterns because what else is there to do when confronted with the infinity of space and time? Also, they've managed to catch one already!

Father?! And here I thought she was captured to be mated with Sinestro! Whoops!

Sinestro #1 Rating: This comic book wasn't funny at all! Sinestro takes himself way too seriously. I have a feeling I'm going to be annoyed by him far more often than I'm entertained by him. Remember the cartoon days when he would create giant baseball mitts and badminton birdies to battle Hal Jordan?! This comic book is the anti-Larfleeze book, so I'll rank it right around there at about #30.