Batman Eternal #2

I have discovered the main problem with weekly books. One week is too soon to reread my own commentaries. I find myself skimming them because they're still fresh in my mind which means I'm not editing them properly.

Do you realize we live in a social climate where it's not only okay to ruin somebody's life over an opinion they might express, it's often held up as heroic? We also live in a cultural climate where we've forgotten what the actual meaning of terrorism is because we're told by newscasters and talking heads, day in and day out, that terrorism is brown people with bombs. But that in itself is not terrorism. It's part of it, sure. But terrorism isn't just about physical violence committed on random people. It's about creating a cloud of fear that causes people to change the way they act and to change the way they do things because they're afraid of the repercussions. The brown people with bombs aren't blowing things up just because they hate our way of life. There is an absolute objective behind the killing of innocent people. That objective is to get us to change our lifestyle because we're now afraid to do or say certain things. So creating a social environment where people are afraid to say or do certain things because their lives will be ruined for voicing an opinion is terrorism.

Freedom of speech is steadily being worn away. We're going the wrong way when we begin to declare that people can't say certain things because other people might be offended by those things. It's an extension of overprotective parenting, writ large on the entire populace. What we actually need is tougher skin. We need to be able to shrug off the person ranting crazily in the corner rather than feeling the need to bring them to utter ruin for expressing an unpopular opinion. Freedom of speech is meant to allow even the most vile opinions to be expressed. It's like a release valve on a high pressure system. Hateful, horrible, derogatory opinions need to be defended by somebody. Jesus Christ, people. If I have to hear one more person explain how even if you accidentally step on somebody's toes, you should apologize, I'm going to go on a toe stomping rampage!

Yes, I get that shouting down somebody with an idiotic opinion is also freedom of speech. And I have no problems with somebody calling an idiot an idiot. I do it here on my blog all the time! And we always have the power to vote with our wallets, denying patronage to those with which we do not agree. But I have to believe we're acting like righteous assholes when we demand somebody's life in retribution for our hurt feelings or offended sensibilities. We like to think of words as powerful weapons. Because they are. But you know what? It's not true of every situation. Sometimes words are just words, easily ignored or countered with more words.

Although I can really get behind a good blood sacrifice every now and again. That whole scapegoat thing was actually a pretty good idea. You know, when it was an actual goat and not just some idiot on Twitter.

Now that everybody reading this has been offended because they're absolutely sure I was talking about them (because I was. I'm not letting anybody off the hook! Except myself. Geez, I'm not a complete monster), I'm going to talk about Batman!

I think Snyder decided he would begin each week with a shitty comic book cliche. Here we get the mysterious person recognized by a character on panel but whose identity is not revealed to the reader. Although it's probably Bruce Wayne.

On pages two and three, that thing happens that I said was going to be the real bad thing that's going to happen: the media begins printing speculation. Sure, sure. They're actually just printing the truth. "Gordon was arrested at scene of subway pile-up." But that doesn't mean shit, does it? Why was he arrested? What happened? How the fuck was Gordon actually the cause of this? In a world without investigative reporters who, in just minutes, would realize that Jim shooting one bullet into some electrical panel that runs the lights of the subway platform wouldn't have caused this mess, journalists just have to print the story told to them by any crooked cop on the force. I don't know exactly what Vicki Vale's story says but what can be seen in the one panel where she posts it, the headline seems to say, in part, "Gordon Guilty." Yeah. Fuck journalism.

Now all over the world, friends and daughters of Jim Gordon are shitting their Bat-Pants. "How can this be true and not a total frame-up job by dirty cops and crooked politicians seeing how this is the shithole Gotham where the only real danger is truth?" gasps everybody but Jason Todd. Jason Todd just says, "Yo! Another round! I warned those assholes."

Batman tries to convince Gordon that everything will work out. Gordon, who has seen the injustice that the Gotham Judicial System can perpetrate, knows that he's probably fucked. Even if it wasn't just a mistake made by an exhausted police officer. Even if he was framed. Even if anything proves he isn't actually responsible for all the deaths in the subway. Jim Gordon is still sitting in a prison cell in Gotham City and that never bodes well for anyone, especially when they're decent and/or innocent.

Using violence and intimidation and fear, the Mystery Man was responsible for getting Hady the job of mayor. I guess it's not Bruce Wayne!

Meanwhile the Spectre is wandering around the subway tunnels investigating evil and stealing the memories of Gotham Police Officers. It's a decent job if you can get it. At least somebody is doing some actual investigating instead of jumping to conclusions and scaping goats. Even if he's working for a Scottish Terrier.

Some weird shit is also happening in Arkham Asylum to Doctor Phosphorus. And I think it's being perpetrated by The New 52 Reboot of Jesse Custer!

This is the destiny of all characters tainted by Ann Nocenti.

Batman, being the only real investigator in Gotham, continues to try to figure out what really happened in that subway system. Catwoman drops by to try to help. Or try to distract him. Or for some food. Or to play. Or to be let outside. Who the fuck can ever tell what a cat wants?! Just stop staring at me!

While Catwoman rubs up against Batman's crotch, Batman realizes he knows the guy with the rose tattoo on his face, the guy that led Jim into the subway. The guy is connected to the guy that helped Mayor Hady and flooded Gotham with violence and blood. I still don't know who it is! I guess if Snyder doesn't reveal who it is by the end of this issue, I don't really have to wait too long before he does! Weekly!

Oh wait. He reveals who it is on the last page. It's Carmine Falcone. I suppose with the cat scratches on his face and Selina's reaction to his name, we're still supposed to believe he's New 52 Selina's father? Also, is Vicki Vale's boss, Mario, his son? That would go a long way to explaining his lousy ability to manage the Gotham Gazette.

Batman Eternal #2 Rating: No change. I suppose if I were a bigger Batman fan, this would all be terribly exciting with the big reveals and whatnot and such and such. But when the big twist is that Batman is going to be facing off against human threats that are evil because they're greedy and evil instead of costumed super threats that are evil because they're actually just really fucking mentally ill, it's a bit of a letdown. I like seeing Batman fight costumed enemies, not criminal overlords. Even if this criminal overlord is so horrible that even Batman seems taken aback. Maybe if I was a Batman: Year One fan, I would have shit my pants in excitement over the return of Falcone. But, alas, I'm not. Or I just don't remember it as well as I should. I have that problem at times. I see he was also a player in The Long Halloween, according to Lord Google and Princess Wikipedia. I've never read The Long Halloween. I picked it up off of a friend's shelf to read one time but put it back because I'm not a fan of Tim Sale's art. I also probably had a hangover.