Pandora #7

Wouldn't this cover look great in crayon?!

I thought about doing the rest of the Forever Evil: Blight issue commentaries in crayon but then decided it would just feel like trying desperately to hold on to the magic of my Constantine #10 commentary. Plus I need to buy more crayons. Preferably one of the large boxes with the built-in crayon sharpener. Although I have a feeling that if I did the crayon version of every comic book I read from here on out, this blog could become a huge hit. That's the kind of gimmick that people love to see one time and then never remember seeing a few months later. But who needs longevity in this day and age, right? I don't think that actually exists anymore.

Part of my theory for the Blight story line was that Chris was a Christ-figure and he was going to have to be betrayed by The Phantom Stranger and martyred in order to save the world. But now with this cover, it looks like "Light" is what is going to be needed to defeat "Blight." I guess one doesn't negate the other. The Light of Chris will defeat the evil in men's souls. But probably not women's. Their evil is always so much more personal and hurtful! Men are like, "I'm going to be super evil because I want the most shit and power! Whoever gets in my way will be struck down!" And women are all, "I'm going to be super evil to just you, on the down low, because you didn't notice my new hair cut. And I will fucking destroy you for it, no matter how long it takes." Children are just plain, "I'm fucking evil, motherfucker! Give me all the attention and all the candy! Fuck your needs and desires! Deal with me!"

Last time we saw The Mini-JLD, they had just returned to heaven with a new partner: Zauriel. He has decided to help Constantine in his quest to save Zatanna because he believes in love. What a naive bitch.

They're like a bunch of tarot cards. Or a new Chess Set. Hmm. I wonder if I should design a chessboard game pitting these seven against Blight and the last six Sins?

Pandora reveals that when she was in Heaven, she was simply asked by Dog, "What are you?" She seemed to know who she was at various points along her 10,000 year life but now she's at a loss. What the fuck is left of a person after 10,000 years? Can you continue to grow or do your edges just get constantly worn away year after year by tedium and entropy? What kind of goals can you have when you have all the time in the world to obtain them? Seems like whatever you wanted, you could eventually get. Whatever you believed would eventually not make any sense as the world changed around you. According to notes made by my first grade teacher on my report card, I'm roughly the exact same person I was at six that I am now at forty-two. And every new generation that appears really isn't any different than the one before it, no matter how much more wise they like to think they are with modern thoughts. But they'll learn. We were all at that peak of youthful passion at one point or another. We all thought the same thoughts and knew how the world should be and how we'd all get along. But as the years pass, you see yourself betrayed by your own generation, stabbed in the back by the power hungry and materialistic masses that never felt the same way at all and continued to perpetuate the institutionalized bullshit that you thought your generation was going to change. Imagine seeing how human culture never really changes either, even after 10,000 years. I imagine I'd feel pretty weary and bitter by this time. Youthful optimism would be long gone, leaving me just a mass of bristling, resentful, raggedly raw nerves. Completely cynical. Angry. Hateful. Burnt out. Hell, fuck ten thousand years! That sounds like me now!

At least Pandora still has her looks.

This is pretty close, in a metaphorical way, to what I was just saying!

This brings to bear the one truly new thing that I hope can make a difference. The internet. Before the internet, the lights were mostly isolated. People cultivated friendships with others that felt the same way about positive change. But they were still surrounded by mostly shallow, uncaring people. Ideas could be shared but it took a lot more effort and they had to fight across vast expanses of darkness to alight on like minds. But the internet enables all like minds to connect. Maybe that will be a good thing. Although it might also be bad, seeing as how movements tend to fracture and split over petty differences. Perhaps the internet will just increase the pace that movements devolve into multiple movements that share basically the same goal but bicker and fight over the particulars. I know I see this all the time on Tumblr and I like to think most of it is just youthful passion looking for any opponent and that that will be tempered with time. I know that I've been written off by people quite a few times simply due to my facetious nature on this blog and I don't always treat certain subjects with the proper gravitas others believe is required. That's fine. Every individual can only interpret things the way they interpret things and if I anger somebody, I can't be upset at them for lashing out at me. I often say stupid things for a laugh, say crass things for satirical purposes, and can get plain disgusting in some people's eyes if they think masturbation should not be talked about (and celebrated!) in a public place.

In the end, the only thing I really hope for all of us looking to improve our society is that we concentrate our attacks on the darkness rather than trying to prove that our light shines brighter than the other lights.

Oh look. Fawkes continues with the lights as well.

You should just ignore all of that previous shit. Just remember this: Scott Lobdell is the true evil.

Pandora comes to the conclusion that she can become host to the Light just as Chris is host to the Blight. That's nicely symmetrical, right? And she believes that the world still has a chance to be saved as long as there is still hope. But Chris's last name is Esperanza which means hope! So as long as Chris lives, Blight can be defeated! The Justice League Dark must take care to win Chris the Redeemer back to their side so that he can banish The Blight from his body.

This new incarnation of the Seven Soldiers of Victory meet Blight and his army in the middle of the George Washington Bridge in New York. But the real crux of the battle is the hand-to-hand combat between Pandora and Chris, Light and Blight. Pandora uses the light of everyone around the world with any kindness within them. In Constantine #10, Pandora said she was shown the goodness within each of her companions. And now she uses that knowledge to help make her stronger. And she's able to drive The Blight away.

For now! This Crossover is far from over!

Pandora and The Phantom Stranger take mercy on Chris and let him live. I believe that's the right thing to do although Constantine wants them to kill him. And he's kind of proven right when The Blight retakes Chris who begins choking the shit out of The Phantom Stranger. But that's just because this story has many more issues to go. Like keeping Gollum alive in The Lord of the Rings, the team will eventually only defeat The Blight by keeping hope alive. Hope being Christ the Babysitter!

Blight dissipates The Phantom Stranger before being tackled off the bridge by Pandora where they both sink to the bottom of the river. John asks himself, "What do we do now, John?" and Zauriel answers, "What do you think?" What he thinks is that they need to finish the fight once and for all, so it looks like they're going to have to take a dip into the river. Or get Deadman to fish Pandora and Blight out.

Pandora #7 Rating: +2 Ranking. Another good chapter in The Blight Crossover even though it didn't really afford any opportunities for vulgarity and mean-spirited comments.