Legion of Super-heroes #6

Am I still reading this comic?

I don't expect much out of me while reading Legion of Super-heroes! Even though I kind of enjoyed the last issue, this team still doesn't interest me at all. Here we go!

Element Lad, Sun Boy and the Chemical Kid have journeyed to Earth. Earth in the 31st century (at least the China part) looks like a roiling ocean of lava. A few cities sit on islands amid the chaos covered in protective bubbles. Why am I describing this? See for yourself!

I wonder if the Legion ever teams up members who use the same noun in their name? Do two Boys or three Lasses ever go on the same mission? I bet not!

They're on a really boring mission that I don't care about. Once they're finished with their mission, Chemical Kid wants to take off and find Dragonwing who is currently on vacation in this mess. Element Lad is probably going to let him go since the cover shows Dragonwing fighting and she'll probably need some help. Although she might not need help from a guy who can catalyze chemical reactions. Big fucking whoop.

After a couple of meaningless pages with Dream Girl and Star Boy, Dragonwing enters her sister's apartment in China to find her missing. She also finds some kind of futuristic message from Red Dragon.

And a pretty carefully rendered dog ass.

Brainiac 5 and Mon-el are busy cleaning up the mess they made while stopping the Dominators and the rebel Daxamite. Mon-el is worried that the Dominators will return. Of course they'll return! It's just a matter of time until Paul Levitz can't think of any more plots that don't involve them.

Are those squat guys teenaged Dominators?

The Dominator who failed the mission is eaten by the really fat Dominator. The Dominators seem to live by a set of rules and Rule #4 is that everyone is food. Also, the discs on their head grow bigger with their accomplishments. Also also apparently the gravity on the Dominators homeworld is all fucked up because they all look so flat in that panel.

Back on Earth, it turns out Dragonwing's sister isn't missing. She has joined the Red Dragon Clan! Um, yeah. Does that mean she's bad? She looks bad. And she tries to kill her dog! I think that might be bad.

I guess China will never get over its reputation for having warring clans with animal names.

The dog turns out to be Chameleon Boy. So that really accurate ass you were looking at earlier was actually Chameleon Boy's sphincter. And this isn't even a Teen Plus comic!

Dragonwing's sister and her new Red Dragon gang attack her because that, apparently, is what you do. You don't just tell them that part of your life is over and never try to find me again. You just set your rival gang on your sister and finish her off. I'm going to go out on a limb and suppose that there is some Old DCU back story here that I'm missing out on.

Then this old guy appears.

And that's the end. So some shit happened and then some shit somewhere else happened and then some other alien shit happened on an alien planet and then the rest of the shit happened and the comic book ended.

Legion of Super-heroes Issue #6 Rating: No change. I really don't know how to judge a comic book filled with a bunch of characters I don't give one fig about. Not one! And I don't even like figs!

Green Lantern Corps #8

Is the Alpha War the Green Lantern Night of the Owls?

This issue begins with several Alpha Green Lanterns being recalled to base. My mind has just been replacing 'base' with 'Oa' while reading this page and now I'm wondering if it's something different. And what the fuck is an "Alpha" Green Lantern? The only Lantern's name I recognize is Boodikka. I think she was some big stone tough chick and I probably remember her from Green Lantern Corps Quarterly. Unless she was a big star in the Guy Gardner comic. But I've never read a regular Green Lantern title until The New 52.

Oh look! Here's the base on Oa on page two, panel one! It's a penis!

The Alpha Green Lanterns all seem to have their Power Battery located in their chest and their right arms are made of Green Lantern light. Or the arm with the attached hand wearing the ring. It's probably just a coincidence that they're all right handed. I'm sure this isn't any kind of slight against left handers.

They've gathered to review footage of John Stewart murdering Kirrt. I mean, John Stewart saving the universe. The Alphas are the Green Lantern version of Internal Affairs. They need to arrest John Stewart and make sure that he acted appropriately. Of course this will bring shame and dishonor to Kirrt when everyone sees that he was about to give up the entire universe just to avoid a little bit more pain. But you know, the Alpha Lanterns are a cross of the free will of the Green Lantern soldier and the cold, efficient logic of the Manhunters. And history has shown how well the Manhunters worked out for the universe.

Don't worry if you don't understand that last line. Millennium was a stupid cross-over event.
Green Lanterns' Internal Affairs have a rhyme as well!

OMG. That's awful. Misconduct must be answered for? I think these guys should actually be wearing white collars and ties.

Do the Green Lantern Office Managers have a chant as well?

"From early morning to end of day...
No paper clip shall go astray!
Every one do as I say...
Or else nobody gets their pay!

While Internal Affairs is getting ready to bust John's ass, the entire rest of the Green Lantern Corps are busy burying Sinestro's Main Yellow Lantern Battery beneath the surface of Oa. And it seems like only Guy Gardner thinks this is a bad idea. How come I'm the only guy with Guy on this one?

Calm down! Sinestro isn't even a Green Lantern anymore!

While everyone is frustrated with Guy Gardner screwing up their Yellow Battery Burial, Guy makes images with his ring showing scenes with everyone palling around with Sinestro.

Is this Freudian? Guy wants to play strip poker with TWO John Stewarts?

Guy gets called away by the Guardians and everybody "Ooohs" and "UH-OHS!" like kids at recess. Guy heads off to get his tongue lashing. He's probably been through enough of them. And what kind of punishment can the Oans ever give anyway? They're a non-threat! Until they become a gigantic cosmic threat, I mean. Which will probably be pretty soon.

Crap. Guy was the only one talking sense and now the Guardians agree with him. This must be Bizarro Oa.

And it just keeps getting weirder. Not weirder in a way I disagree with! Oh no! I'm on board with the following except for the fact that I think the Guardians are manipulating Guy Gardner for some reason.

A promotion? Way to go, Guy!

After Guy gets over his initial reaction which is mostly one of the "Bwa ha ha ha!" varieties (and might I say I'm happy to see Guy laugh like that here), the Guardians claim they're serious and plan to put Guy into a position as a kind of General to lead the rest of the Green Lanterns. And that is why this seems fishy. What is their plan here? They're obviously using Guy's arrogance and pride against him in some fashion. I can't even begin to speculate what's going on except that maybe they want to cause some kind of rift amongst the troops.

Later, after the promotion and the Yellow Battery is buried, Guy and John meet up at Guy's Warrior Bar on Oa for a few drinks and to relax. A few pages of really good comic and a scene that actually makes me laugh follow. And then a brawl breaks out in the bar with some mercenaries. But that doesn't cause the most damage to the bar. The stupid Internal Affairs Lanterns cause the most damage because they obviously don't know how to use a door.

Doesn't this count as "misconduct" or not "obeying the laws forevermore"? Where is Internal Affairs for Internal Affairs!? I know, I know. That question has been asked many times over.

Green Lantern Corps Issue #8 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic just gets better and better. It's no epic Sandman or V for Vendetta-esque masterpiece. But it's a great ride with a couple of good characters that Tomasi has a pretty good handle on. I'm enjoying it immensely.

Green Lantern Corps #7

Now it's time for the sad.

Last issue, John Stewart killed a member of the Green Lantern Corps to keep the universe safe. He killed one person for the greater good so I think it's time for another John Stuart Mill joke! You'll have to come up with it on your own though. This is a participatory comic book commentary.

The first five pages of this issue show the ceremonial funeral honoring a Green Lantern killed in the line of duty. I don't know if this ceremony has ever been shown before but I'd imagine it has been since hundreds of Green Lanterns have probably been killed over the last sixty years or whatever. And I bet, at times, even important ones that readers liked have died! He's made into a Green Light Image and placed in the Tower of Green Images which is probably actually called something different and more reverential.

Who's the guy in the Burberry, tie, and kneepads?

Guy Gardner is called in to have a meeting with the Guardians of Oa. I guess they're taking a break from developing their new Universal Police Force. There's always time for a tongue lashing of the subordinates!

I like Gardner's reaction to his lousy superiors. At least, this first reaction.

The Guardians act upset that Guy killed two prisoners while using them as bombs. But the Guardians are actually upset that Guy went against their rules and took two prisoners from their science cells without their permission. Now, that isn't actually in the text but that's their fucking nature, the bastards. You know that's what's driving them crazy. But Guy's defense is just lame for all the reasons I explained earlier.

Really? Every child was going to fight against the American soldiers?

I already explained why the whole World War II analogy falls apart. I have to wonder if Guy would have made the connection at all if the stupid Sinestro members hadn't been calling themselves by the names of the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. He's not that bright. Until the writer needs him to be that bright! And then he's Mr. Smart Chops!

While Guy Gardner chose to end the lives of two murderous Sinestro Corps members to save the lives of many Keepers and Lanterns, John Stewart chose to end the life of one Green Lantern to save the lives of, perhaps, the entire universe. Of course the amount of lives he may or may not have saved is theoretical while the Green Lantern is actually dead. And that's what John is going to have to deal with. Guy seems okay with his decision though.

For the greater good, bitch!

John is busy packing up Kirrt's things to send home to his family. Kirrt is the name of the Green Lantern I've been refusing to learn. It's not like he's a real person who gave his life to help make the universe a better place! He's just a made up character! I don't have to learn his name if I don't want to! And so what if he was a Green Lantern! What the fuck are these Space Cops trying to do anyway? The universe is a big place being infinite and all. Every time they help somebody it's like they're helping nobody because it's just one good deed out of an infinite number of random accidents or catastrophic disasters or evil megolmaniacal space Gods killing innocent otter people! They can't stop sadness! John Stewart is a Green Lantern and he can't even stop his own sadness!

You didn't put it on the report because you didn't want others to see that Kirrt had been broken and shamed.

What if Batman were put into this situation? He wouldn't have killed Kirrt so how would he have saved the day? He would have let the Keepers get the code. Then he would have escaped as they were firing up the Stargate. And then he'd throw his Batarang into the control panel, shorting out the device! And after that, he would have delayed the Keepers long enough for Superman to come in and throw them all in a big cage.

Except Batman did shoot Darkseid with the intent to kill him, right? Or was the Magic Bullet supposed to just immobilize him? Oh, who cares! That was an entirely different universe. Kind of.

John Stewart escorts Kirrt's body back to his home planet of Lorror in Sector 1346. Kirrt's parents take the news as many parents have over many thousands of years and probably more if we're speaking about alien cultures on alien planets across the whole of time. But Kirrt's younger, mentally awkward brother thinks he can bring his brother back from the dead.

Of course he died a hero. He did everything the Green Lantern Corps asked of him to protect the universe. It's not like he ever killed an innocent man or a teammate!

And that's how that ends. John makes a grave for Kirrt that says, "Beloved Son and Best Brother Ever" It also mentions he was a Green Lantern but not that he was a coward that tried to betray the universe and get everyone killed. That's John and Vandor's secret!

Green Lantern Corps Issue #7 Rating: +1 Ranking. One thing I like is how different Guy and John are. I disagree with John killing Kirrt but everyone does what they think is best in the moment. Time is a ruthless bitch and we all do our best, moment by moment. Okay, not all of us do. Some of us do the worst. And others do as little as they can possibly get away with. But, you know, I think John did what he felt he needed to do at that exact instant. I also don't agree much with Guy. But then Guy is a marine and a patriot and a blow hard. I've always liked the character though! Tomasi is doing a pretty good job with both of these guys. I can't wait to see how he writes G'nort now!

Green Lantern Corps #6

If the most powerful weapon in the universe is ineffective, resort to guns.

Last issue, Guy Gardner put together a plan to rescue John Stewart and the other Green Lanterns held hostage by the Keepers of the Lanterns. The Keepers are pissed that their economy was destroyed when the Oans pulled out of their contract with them and now the Keepers want revenge. Until they can torture the Oans themselves, they've settled on murdering and maiming Green Lanterns. Guy Gardner put together a team of tough old fogeys called The Mean Machine and some of Kilowog's toughest new recruits and gave them a shit-ton of stolen guns. The plan is to drop a Fear Bomb on the Keepers (composed of two Sinestro Corps Members named Fat Man and Little Boy) and then follow up guns blazing. Finesse isn't really Guy Gardner's strong suit.

In high school, our English teacher, Mr. Borror, took our class to San Francisco to see a play. He would have fit right in with the Mean Machine. He also spent the entire play snoring away in the darkness.

The Green Lanterns offload far away from the aliens on their planet but still yell, "Lock and load!" as they fly from the ship. I don't know when they'll drop the fear bomb. I also don't know why they dropped off on the most uninhabited spot on the planet ready for war. Just drop the bomb and swoop in and kick some ass already! Geez. You're wasting my time!

Meanwhile, John and the other hostage Lanterns are being tortured so that they'll reveal some important key-code to disabling the force-field on Oa. But even after being tortured for days and on the verge of death, John Stewart still has the nerve to judge the victims.

This guy isn't really raping his people for power and immortality. Well, kind of. But his people were probably more than willing to give up their free will to power the stargate on the back of the frog that would get revenge on the Oans that destroyed their world. What else was their to live for when everyone was already starving anyway?

This conversation is pointless anyway. The only people who are willing to lead are people who want power and/or people who really care to make things better for everyone. And the people willing to make things better usually lose out to the people who simply crave power because they're not willing to fight dirty or use any unethical tactic to get the position. And even if they do get the position, there's always that thing about absolute power co-opting absolutely.

The weakest Green Lantern by the name of I'm not going to bother learning his name because John Stewart kills him in a second is killed by John Stewart before he can reveal the code to disable the force-field.

Just for anyone who is curious, John Stewart struggled out of his arm restraints and broke the neck of the weak coward hanging next to him.

After this moment that was spoiled for me by the cover of Issue #7, John wills one last charge out of his ring to fuel an escape for him and Vandor, the other Green Lantern with enough willpower to not rat out the Corps. Or at least more than that other dead guy. Which is just enough to seem like a hero! But this last charge lasts only long enough to bust them out of the prison and a few hundred feet away. John and Vandor are left powerless while dozens of Keepers attack.

Mutton Stew?

Oh yeah! Fire!

The bullets work much better than the Green Lantern Light since the Keepers didn't spend generation after generation gaining immunity to them. Sometimes simpler is better!

I just said that, Guy! Sheesh.

That last exchange reminds me of something I can't stand to hear people say: reading is active and watching television is passive. Bullshit. Reading is also passive. Writing is active. The only difference in watching television and reading books is time. People like to evoke the whole imagination concept and how that's so much better that you get to imagine the hero and the landscape instead of it being fed to you through visuals. But that's bullshit. Pictures are worth 1000 words and anybody who has ever read Fantasy Literature knows an author will spend at least that many words making the reader see what she wants him to see. The only real differing factor is time. Television comes at you relentlessly. And if you watch a continuous block of shows, you never pause to consider or reflect on what you just watched. Reading allows you to stop and contemplate as I just did in that last exchange. I pointed out what was going on and then continued reading to have Guy point out the same thing. If I were watching television, what are the odds that I would keep pausing the program to think about the show?

But that can be true of reading as well. How many people read a comic book in short bursts, thinking about what was just read and guessing what the outcome may be? Many just read the book straight through and enjoy it. Then they spend the time in-between the issues to discuss what may happen just as people discuss television shows between episodes. Obviously watching television is easier than reading. But they're both passive activities but they're only as 'passive' as the audience consuming them. Don't blame the media if you're not willing to use your own mind. If you want an 'active' activity, consider writing or punching some know-it-all asshole in the face for preaching to you about passive and active entertainment.

Enough with my preaching; let's get back to Tomasi's!

Stewart tries to confess to Guy that he killed a fellow Lantern but Vandor interrupts and tells Guy that all the other Lanterns were tortured to death and they only escaped because of John. Then the Stargate begins to act up and John tells Guy they need to rescue the people powering it. It's at this moment that the Mean Machine declare that the Keepers will not surrender. They're going to fight to the last man. And it's back to the World War II analogy and the old "we had to use the atom bomb to prevent more deaths" defense.

What will a Sinestro Fear Bomb be like? Big yellow mushroom cloud made of snakes, clowns, and public speaking?

No. It just looks like a giant piece of pollen.

DROP THE BOMB!

The fear bomb causes all of the Keepers to instantly surrender. Seems like it could have been dropped first! The innocent Keepers being used to maintain the Stargate were fine because they were hooked up to the life support running the system. All of the aggressive Keepers surrendered in fear. Seems like every life could have been saved if they'd dropped their fear bomb immediately. I think the World War II analogy breaks down since the fear bomb didn't actually kill any innocents. So it should have been done first and it would have saved the lives of all the aggressors shot by the Lanterns as well as any Lanterns killed in the raid.

The Guardians hold a tribunal and sentence the Keepers running the show to dig graves for all of their innocent victims. Which means they'll need to bury every being killed on the planet Nerro which is all of the beings that had lived on the planet Nerro. And like the Oans usually do, they disregard any part they played in this tragedy. Sure, the Keepers went about restoring their planet in a violent and ill-conceived way. But the Oans could have prevented everything by helping the Keepers maintain their civilization once they began pulling out the Green Lantern Batteries. Kind of like a pension for having kept the batteries safe for so many years. Oh well! The Oans serve some American Style Justice! All's well, right?

Green Lantern Corps Issue #6 Rating: +1 Ranking. I enjoyed this comic even with the heavy handed morality and analogy that didn't quite fit. Seriously, drop the fear bomb immediately and nobody dies! Dumb dumb Guy Gardner! What a lousy leader!

Catwoman #8

Catwoman and Spark are going to fight a Mind Flayer? Or a Mummy?

Catwoman and Spark have teamed up and have been going on a robbery spree. I don't know if Catwoman ditched Gwen to go on a crime binge with her new boy toy or if she's just doing these extra jobs on the side. I suppose if she's doing extra jobs that Gwen isn't a part of or doesn't approve of, then Selina has, in essence, ditched Gwen. Catwoman has fallen off the wagon. I think.

Whatever she's up to, her fifth job with Spark goes a little bit off the rails.

Several other panels I could have scanned had Catwoman in a bikini!

Catwoman and Spark get away with four Magic Daggers. The Daggers are supposed to be in a set of five and aren't valuable to anybody without the fifth dagger. Catwoman thinks she knows who has it.

Okay, so it turns out Gwen and Selina are still working together. Also, ANTARCTIC BIRD, you dumb cat loving cunt! My penguin told me to reprimand you that harshly. Thanks, Schnabel.

Gwen approves of Selina robbing Penguin for the fifth dagger. Spark is the only thing Gwen is really concerned with. She doesn't trust another thief and tells Selina she doesn't need a partner. But when has Catwoman ever listened to anyone? She's a cat! Don't tell her what to do! She'll just lick her crotch and pretend she isn't listening. And then she'll casually stretch and slowly saunter out of the room. Also, she'll continue to work with Spark no matter what Gwen advises.

While Catwoman and Spark are scouting out a dining establishment where Penguin will be dining the next night, they witness a hooker being drugged and dragged into a van. Last issue, two hookers were kidnapped by this same mystery person but I didn't mention it. The pervert was really into the hooker with red hair so maybe he's making himself a Batgirl Fuck Corpse. This is a teen plus rated comic! That's a possibility, right?! Catwoman has a thing for helping female victims, so she pounces.

I would have gone with, "Not like the PROS TO TOOT their own horns but I'm a cat that doesn't use the litter box. I FUCK UP JOHNS, BITCH!" Okay, that was really bad but at least it had something to do with the action. Why the fuck is Catwoman bringing up take out food?

The guy pulls two guns and fires them both simultaneously at Catwoman. She dodges all of the bullets but not because she's faster than bullets. The pervert probably misses all of his shots because he's firing two fucking guns at once! I bet he could have killed her if he just drew one gun and aimed for half a second! Spark joins in the battle and the hooded pervert tosses a grenade in the van with the hooker. He gets away while Spark saves the prostitute and he and Catwoman take cover as the van blows up.

Looks like the mystery pervert has been busy.

Selina wants to help the prostitutes but they currently have the penguin job lined up. So she files it away for something to look into in the future. As for now, she has to concentrate on robbing The Penguin next issue. But it looks like some other people are going after Cobblepot as well!

I was wondering who was going to care enough to save Cobblepot from the Talons. I guess he got lucky this time and Catwoman will be there since I didn't see him being a priority to anyone in the Bat Family.

Catwoman Issue #8 Rating: +1 Ranking. The comic continues to bring the fun. And each issue isn't filled with a sense of overwhelming odds needing to be overcome! I like that Judd Winick doesn't feel the need to ratchet up the tension at every turn.

Catwoman #7

Guillem March is only doing the covers now. That's too bad.

Catwoman begins the story by stealing a Ferrari from some Greek guy. But she's not just a thief; she's also a gigantic liar!

This is her lie.

These are the buns.

 

I never took Catwoman for a car thief. She's always been such a, what's the phrase, cat burglar? But I guess Big Titty Miss Kitty of Gotham City runs the pretty red car stealing committee. Also itty bitty and shitty and whatever else you can stick in there.

Oh, and speaking of rhyming. Fuck all the press that Eminem gets for rhyming "orange" with "door hinge". I thought that one up on my own as did one of my poetry professor's friends as did Kurt Fucking Vonnegut. He also rhymes "purple" with "burp'll"! And even if nobody wants to believe the nobodies like me and my professor's friend about coming up with the rhyme, Kurt Vonnegut's was published in Welcome to the Monkey House, you fucking fucks. Eminem is a hack with some pretty catchy songs. But he's not the God of rhyming. Rhyming is fucking easy, you morons. It doesn't denote great intelligence.

Where was I? Oh yeah! Catwoman stole a car! And she doesn't usually do that! But apparently she likes stealing cars because she says so later. Some other guy with eyes out of a 90's Image comic also likes stealing cars!

He's got ANGRY EYES! One look at you and I can't disguise!

Oh, and here is where Catwoman says she likes stealing cars! Just because it's fucking cute and I'm always complaining about stupid comics not being fun and then Judd Winick who I don't want to like at all starts writing a comic that I enjoy reading! Life just isn't fair at all! I bet Judd and I could be really good friends. You should e-mail me, Judd! GrunionGuy AT placesandpredators DOT com, dude! Next time you're in Portland, I'll buy you a beer and apologize for all the jokes I've made at your expense. AGAIN!

Yay! Stealing cars!

Catwoman needed someone to help tone down her recklessness so she hit up this Gwen woman who is a fence and possibly someone I kind of remember Catwoman talking about in a past issue but who can keep all these people straight? I'm reading 52 different DC titles! I can't be expected to remember the names of people without super powers! Selina is supposed to listen to Gwen at all costs because Gwen plays it safe and checks out all the leads. But then this one night, some really expensive cars need stealing and Gwen doesn't have enough time to check out the situation. So Catwoman goes in all by herself without any leads and immediately remembers why she made the deal with Gwen.

He's not finishing that sentence in that speech bubble so I suspect he's going to be interrupted by that guy with the Angry Eyes when I turn the page.

That was an easy one.

This guy uses the name Spark and isn't here to steal cars. He's here to save Catwoman's ass (mmm, Catwoman's ass) and ask her to team up with him. She thinks he's cute and she's manic and crazy so she readily agrees! It's the team-up of the century!

Catwoman Issue #7 Rating: +1 Ranking. Decent story and far too many cute Catwoman moments. Plus, it's only moving ahead of an empty space where one of the new titles will debut.

Catwoman #6

Cat claws can penetrate anything, even Batman body armor.

Catwoman ends up in a Gotham Police interrogation cell after being caught spending the cops' dirty money. They want their money back but Catwoman knows better than to make herself useless to a bunch of filthy, murdering, robbing police by giving up everything she knows. Most of what she knows is the location of the rest of the cash. Since Catwoman won't give up the location, they bring in a special interrogator.

This interrogation is about to get sexy! In a really violent and bloody way.

While Catwoman is busy getting her face rearranged, the good cop that wanted to investigate Catwoman for a recent string of robberies is told that Catwoman escaped while bringing her back to the station. But he's not as dumb as he's drawn. He realizes all of the bad cops have suddenly disappeared and has a sudden realization.

It must be a tough gig being an honest cop in Gotham. Constantly fighting on two fronts while they cripple your ability to do your job. Why does anybody live in Gotham? Low cost of living and high wages?

Meanwhile, in the back room, Reach continues to interrogate Catwoman. As I was typing interrogate, I made some air quotes because she's not really interrogating Catwoman at all! She's just beating the crap out of her.

This fight didn't turn out to be very sexy at all!

Reach is a giant moron because her name is Reach which implies she has the ability to keep at a distance while fighting someone. And then she goes and gets nice and close to Catwoman so Reach can have her ear bit off. It's like all those stupid fools in movies who have a gun and feel the need to stand one foot away from their enemy so that their enemy can remove the gun with a chop or kick. The main advantage of having a gun is that you don't need to stand next to the person to keep control, you stupid mongrel jerk-offs! Writers can be such lazy assholes.

I'm not really complaining about why Reach got close here. She was just a stupid overconfident green Super Villain who thought she had the upper hand and Catwoman was confessing quietly because of broken ribs and maybe a punctured lung. But any story where a guy gets his gun knocked out of his hand because he didn't keep his distance was written by a lazy writer. Unless the scene took place in an elevator. Then it's acceptable.

The good cop breaks into the interrogation and knocks Reach out with a riot stick. He then lets Catwoman go because he believes if he tries to arrest her in the normal, legal way, he and Catwoman would be killed. Boy, being a cop in Gotham really does suck! So instead he lets her go and probably goes back to his desk to push papers around and look innocent. I'm sure there's a good reason why no other cops were watching behind the one way mirror since, you know, two hot women were going to rough each other up a bit. No need to watch that. I'm sure the reason was probably doughnuts.

Catwoman escapes and finally (FINALLY [FINALLY!]) comes to the conclusion that maybe she should leave Gotham for awhile with her money. But some other guy has a different Bat-idea.

Someone's Bat-horrrrrrnnnnyyyyyy!

Batman and Catwoman have a big tussle (a violent one, not a sexual one. At least not sexual for Catwoman) because Batman thinks Catwoman shouldn't be a thief. He seems to think she should wear a pantsuit and work in Human Resources down at the Gotham Bank. Or something less dangerous. I'm sure it's because he'd be too embarrassed to face the rest of the Justice League if they knew he was boinking a criminal and allowing her to get away with it. Doesn't Batman care about Gotham?! So he yells at her like she's his teenaged step-daughter and forces her to give up the money.

Batman is totally co-dependent.

So Selina lets Batman keep the money which he'll probably return so that the Gotham Police will stop hunting for her. But that just means Batman sent her back out to commit more crimes. Because she's now a broke thief. What does he expect her to do? Sign up at Gotham Temp Agency? They'd probably just send her out to be a henchman to the Mad Hatter or The Riddler anyway! So Selina tracks down a new fence to find a new job to piss off Batman in new ways!

Catwoman Issue #6 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic might be good for Catwoman (or it might not be depending on how sexual you like your Catwomen) but it's definitely bad for Batman! He just comes off as a sexually frustrated control freak. I think Batman and Bruce Wayne are such different people that Batman doesn't get any kind of gratification or release from Bruce Wayne's sexual escapades. So Batman needs to get laid too! And he doesn't know how to handle that. It's not in any super hero guide book! How do you remain dark and grim and terrifying while trying to score some tail? Apparently you have to find someone as beat down and broken as Catwoman which is why he allows her free reign of Gotham. She was right about buying time by having sex with Batasshole. Boy does he come off as a creep in this book! It's pretty awesome, actually.