Justice League Dark #12

Is Dr. Mist on their side again? He's so temperamental.

Faust escaped with the map to the Books of Magic last issue. But Constantine got a look at the map before it happened. I expect the next few issues to be like those episodes of G.I. Joe when the Joes and Cobra were all running around trying to beat each other to the pieces of the deadly weather machine. Those were some exciting after school television watching sessions!

The first page of this issue goes over Dr. Mist's New 52 origin. His centuries old rivalry with Felix Faust is a thing of the past. Instead, he was merely a doctor in a war torn African country. When his wife was killed in the conflict, he turned to magic to try to bring her back. But nothing would work. And then Felix Faust approached him and told him of the Books of Magic. With Mist's reputation, he was able to infiltrate ARGUS and steal the key to open the tesseract to find the log which housed the frog who ate the Books of Magic at the bottom of some unknown interdimensional planescape.

Of course he had to betray the good guys and side with a right evil bastard to do this. Which seems like a bad decision since he's more than likely not going to get a chance at the Books if he's traveling with Faust. If he's just stuck with the others once they got the Tesseract, I'm sure John would have helped him out with his wife.

John noticed the Books were in Slaughter Swamp just outside of Gotham City. That's where Jonah Hex, Amadeus Arkham, and Tallulah Black were held captive by the Crime Bible Cult! It's also where Dr. Thirteen's Haunted Highwayman was living. But Zatanna tracks Faust and Mist's portal to find that they headed back to Peru. So Justice League Dark is going to split up! Basically that means one of them is going to get a chainsaw in the midsection, especially if two people in one of the groups ends up fucking in a sleeping bag. And that could happen to either team since Black Orchid heads off with John Constantine while Deadman heads off with Zatanna. I guess Deadman can't fuck anybody, sleeping bag or not. But Black Orchid hates Constantine so much that the chemistry is electric!

Meanwhile, Xanadu learns from Timothy Hunter how he gave up his magic.

Depending on who ends up with this magic, it could be really interesting or hardly worth mentioning. I hope Cheeks the Toy Wonder got the magic!

Waiting for Faust and Mist is a man working with them to recover the Books. He smokes like Constantine and has a dragon tattoo life Constantine. But he remains in the shadows and I have no clue who he might be. Unless he's somehow Constantine!

I remember in Hellblazer way back when, Constantine had sort of a sidekick. Really just a friend who did stuff with him and got into trouble. I don't remember his name or what happened to him (probably killed!) but what if he got Tim's magic and this is him? A new rival for John?

The mystery man sends Faust to deal with Xanadu in London while he waits with Mist for Zatanna and Deadman to arrive. Dr. Mist also informs the mystery man that Constantine controls the House of Mystery which brings up an interesting question. When they visited the House, Constantine said that he could return any of them to the House now that he brought them to it. Can he now call back Dr. Mist? What about Abnegezer, Rath, and Ghast?

Black Orchid and Constantine are currently traveling to Slaughter Swamp in the House of Mystery.

I knew Orchid was magical in nature. But I thought they were changing that up for The New 52. I guess not!

Black Orchid wonders why John doesn't try to get back together with Zatanna since they have a history. And John explains that probably won't happening seeing as how the death of her father, Zatarra, was his fault. Plus he lies about everything. And he's always involved with demons. And the apocalypse follows him around like a lost puppy.

Black Orchid and John arrive in Slaughter Swamp and begin to explore. It isn't long before they don't find what they're looking for. Instead, they find this guy:

And in Peru, Zatanna and Deadman meet up with the foresty version of this guy, Blackbriar Thorn!

Meanwhile, the mystery man is checking looking into some real estate. He's got an eye on the House of Secrets. Dr. Occult seems to be the current owner of the House of Secrets. So the mystery man negotiates a deal to secure the house from him.

Dr. Occult should have waited for a better offer.

Justice League Dark #12 Rating: +1 Ranking. Since Issue #13 won't be out until October, I would have liked for the mystery man to be revealed at the end of this one. I think it would have given more tension for the fans to see who the enemy was and then have to wait two months for any kind of resolution. Now the fans have to wait two months while they forget what was going on and then the reveal will happen and they'll scratch their heads and have to dig out this issue from the box to figure out why it was such a surprise. Anyway, I'm glad to see the House of Secrets! I hope the Houses fight!
Oh yeah. And someone didn't give the cover artist the notes that Dr. Mist betrayed the group and is no longer fighting for them. Plus, the whole living jungle thing didn't really happen. It sort of got a prologue and a hint that it was about to happen. But nothing so far.

Justice League Dark #11

I see John's wearing Etrigan's armor but I can't place the Staff or the Amulet.

Abenezer, Rath, and Ghast manage to break Faust out of his cell and bring him the Tesseract. Steve Trevor hangs on long enough for Justice League Dark to arrive and save his ass. A lot of magical fighting goes on for quite a few pages until Constantine convinces Trevor to let him into the Black Room and gather some weapons to help defeat Faust and his demons. They trudge off to The Black Room while Zatanna and Deadman hold off Faust. I'm not sure how Deadman can help. Crack jokes?

Meanwhile, Madame Xanadu is on the hunt for the one person that can use the Books of Magic and not be corrupted.

That's a fat ass skateboard.

Apparently Constantine, Zatanna, and Xanadu tried to teach Timothy Hunter a while back but failed. Tim chose to go back to his normal life. Now Xanadu must find him and kidnap him back into the world of magic to take on the responsibility of the Books of Magic. She finds him but he just might not be worth kidnapping anymore.

I hope he gave his magic away to Kid Devil!

Meanwhile, back at ARGUS, Deadman is proving just as useful as I imagined!

Can't Zatanna say something like, "ekam eht tsohg laeroproc"?

It doesn't matter anyway. Deadman gets sucked away to a temporary vacation to the Land of the Dead and Zatanna is knocked unconscious. But the rest of Justice League Dark return from The Black Room before any permanent damage is done. Constantine appears with the left arm of Etrigan's armor, Merlin's Staff, and a glowing sword. He also has a satchel around his neck which probably contains some other goodies.

One of those goodies is The Skeleton Key which can open anything. Constantine brought it with him and manages to get the Tesseract away from Faust when Faust become distracted by a two headed dragon tattoo on Constantine's wrist. Faust recognizes it and thinks it means John is connected to someone. Constantine doesn't have any idea what he's on about. Maybe the tattoo represents Hunter's power given over to John? Whatever the case, John opens the map and discovers where the books are. But at that moment, he's attacked, betrayed by Dr. Mist.

So Dr. Mist and Felix Faust were working together to find the Books of Magic. Seems odd since they've been arch-rivals for thousands of years! I guess that's what makes it such a surprise to Constantine. Whatever! The Justice League Dark have been defeated and Faust and Dr. Mist have the open map to the Books of Magic. But since Constantine also knows where they are, I imagine it'll now be a Wacky Races type road trip to beat each other to the books.

Justice League Dark #11: No change. Minus points for having a team member (okay, okay. He's not really a team member!) suddenly betray the others. Especially since, historically, Faust and Dr. Mist are bitter rivals.

Animal Man #10

When I look at this cover, "Who Wants To Live Forever?" plays in my mind. This is one of the least convoluted connections my mind tends to make so I'll explain it (many of you possibly beat me to it and don't need this explanation): Queen did the music for the movie Flash Gordon. Just before ordering the Hakwmen to attack, the lead Hawkman, Mr. Feathers, says, "Who wants to live forever?" And thus the Queen song playing in my head.

The above caption is a good example of why knowing things is better than Googling things. When you know things, your brain connects everything to everything else. By only being curious about things that involve you and your narcissism, you quickly become a one-dimensional Googling machine that needs to access the Hive Mind for the answer to anything you come across. But that answer is ephemeral and insubstantial and of the moment. Without retaining it to use later, it means nothing. You, in effect, become a Future Retard.

When I last was hanging out with Animal Man, we were drinking fuckin' PBRs and running around in the fucking Red. It was amazing. He was all, "Dude! Check out that fuckin' island of Rot! It's literally killing this place!" And I was all, "Hells yeah! Totes, mo fo mo mo!" And then he was all, "Whoa, wait a second. I gotta rock some fuckin' texts to my boys." And I was all, "Coo, coo." And he spat beer out his nose and was all, "Fuck man! I thought I was Animal Man! You fuckin' channelin' a pigeon, bitch?!" And then this Goat guy hangin' with us and sportin'' this rippin' big amazing beard was all:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU MORONS!" And he literally killed me.

Which meant Animal Man and the Goat Guardian were left to deal with the Island of Rot infestation all by themselves. As Buddy and Goat Guardian smash the Rotlings living on the island, Goat Guardian gives Buddy a history lesson just like Socks is currently giving Maxine a history lesson in the real world.

And that's really sort of the last piece of the puzzle on why The Rot has become so powerful.

While Animal Man and Goat Guardian wait for reinforcements (the flying dogs on the cover except live ones), Ellen and Cliff enter a hotel room with John Constantine. That's a phrase that never ends good for anyone except John Constantine. But this time I think it's okay because Xanadu and Zatanna are waiting in the room for everyone.

Is it really rude to stare at a woman who fights evil in her underwear?

After being kicked out of the room where Xanadu's tits are hanging out of her dress and Zatanna's leather pants are riding up her cooch (images and language entirely Cliff's and not mine at all), Cliff heads back to the RV. But on the way, he runs into his dad hanging out between motel units. Well, it's not his dad. It's the fake Buddy Baker. It's Hunter One or Two or Three. I don't remember which one he is.

The feeling this scene gave me is the feeling Swamp Thing was going for. That smile on Fake Buddy's lips. The foreshadowing from the Annual about what The Rot has done to Cliff. It's like the scene in King's novel, Pet Sematary, where the family is having a picnic and enjoying a truly good day and it's all just too good and that knowledge enters at the back of your brain and bores right through to fuck your cerebellum. Because you suddenly know (not guess, not assume, you KNOW) that Gage Creed is going to die. It's like that moment in television series, The Walking Dead, when the barn has been emptied and everyone hears one more zombie beginning to shuffle out. And it all comes crashing in and you suddenly know and the air leaves your lungs and you quietly mutter, "Oh shit." It's like that. But here. In one page.

I've been a bit hard on Animal Man for being a quick read from month to month. That the plot was sort of meandering and not going anywhere. But most of what came before helps to create this moment. All the casual time spent with Buddy and Maxine and Ellen and Cliff help to make this moment of inevitability that much more tragic.

Here's Cliff. Here's the danger. And nobody's there to help.

Back in The Red, Goat Guardian and Buddy Baker get a lift from the Dog Warriors to the Totem's castle. That's what's happening on the cover but much less aggressively!

Animal Man is still being schooled on The Red.

At the motel, Xanadu explains to Ellen that she had a vision of the end of the world where just Ellen and Maxine were left. And she explains that it's Ellen's fault that things turned out this way. Ellen doesn't want to listen and storms out of the room.

And he doesn't mean Swamp Thing. Seriously. He says so himself after Ellen leaves. So he must mean Frankenstein. Or Hulk!

Ellen tears out of the parking lot in anger when her mother says, "Where's Cliff?"

Yeah? Maybe he's off masturbating to the image of Xanadu's boobs hanging out of her Power Girl imitation dress.

Buddy Baker finally gains entrance to the Totems and they're a little bit pissed off at him for failing. They tell him he can't return to his body because one of The Hunters is currently using it. And the Hunter has Cliff. Now Buddy is even more desperate to get back to save Cliff and protect his family. And while the Totems would rather construct a new Champion to protect Maxine, they don't have time. Socks the Cat can't protect Maxine unless they attack with laser pointers and catnip mice. So they decide to construct a new body for Buddy Baker! I can't wait to see it. I hope it's cute!

Animal Man #10 Rating: +1 Ranking. I think the comic has found its pace. Now I can only hope the editors at DC don't fuck up the story by demanding silly crossovers. If Frankenstein is who Constantine was talking about (who else could it be? J'onn J'onzz? Green Lantern?), then that crossover is fine because both books are written by Lemire. He's already had Franky investigating the hunters in Frank's own book. And, yeah, that story sucked. But I'm going to remain optimistic!

Justice League Dark #8

This cover put the phrase "Vampire Orgy" into my head. And there's only one thing to do when a phrase that good pops into your mind! Google Image Search!

Forget about the plot for a second. Here are some of the fantastic images "Vampire Orgy" generated!

Is it just me or does "an Outdoor BJ" just not in the same category as "Ass Eating", "Anal", and "Cum Swallowing"?

The next image link I followed was a picture of a Dungeon Crawl game and I was curious as to why it showed up with "Vampire Orgy" as a search term. It was a forum where a guy was doing a Let's Play of Dungeon Crawl and he was about to enter The Lair. One of the Vampire Orgy looking movies (or was it a show?) was called The Lair and had a bunch of muscled shirtless male vampires on the poster. Anyway, I spent the next hour reading his Let's Play until he abandoned his game. And then I read the next guy's Let's Play for the next hour.

Why is the internet made up of distractions?!

So back to Justice League Dark! At the end of Rise of the Vampires Part Two which was also called I, Vampire #7, Cain had drained the magic from Zatanna and the Madness from Shade. He used it to remove all of the weaknesses from his vampire army. Mary, Queen of Blood, had joined the good guys. Xanadu was still on Astral Vacation. And Constantine and Deadman were traveling to the Other Side to fetch Andrew Bennett.

Deadman needs a sense of humor.

Does Boston Brand feel embarrassed about his clothing and white make-up when he meets up with other ghosts? Are all ghosts in the DCU forced to wear what they were wearing when they died? I'll have to try to remember this query when I read the next Hawkman story with the Gentleman Ghost. Andrew Bennett is shirtless with just jeans. But he was wearing a sweatshirt when he was killed? Perhaps the way his vampire body dissolved into mist, it destroyed the shirt before he fully incorporealized. That's the technical term for becoming a ghost, right?

While I was musing, Constantine and Deadman found Andrew Bennett. He wasn't on an island since the island wasn't purgatory (bullshit) and Bennett is actually in purgatory. Speaking of the island from the television show LOST, I've got a question! Did they ever explain the "box" or the "room" which brought Locke's dad to the island after Locke's father was killed in a car crash? Sure sounds like a feature of Purgatory to me, you stupid lousy lying producers.

Anyway, Bennet decides he's had enough of living and doesn't want to go back. He doesn't care what Cain and Mary do to the world. And why should he? He's dead now! He's got different concerns! Constantine calls him selfish but I've got to side with Andrew Bennett on this one. He had his life. And like Death of the Endless says, "You get what everybody gets. A life." How come Bennett has the choice to come back? Seems pretty suspect. I'd like it better if he never actually died and somehow survived getting his head cut off.

Xanadu makes a deal with the Crystal Being to shift the balance of power away from Cain and over to somebody else. I thought maybe it was going to go to her since her companions were going to be very angry with her if it worked. But she wakes up and seems much to weak to wield everyone's power. Perhaps it's supposed to go to Andrew Bennett since he's supposed to be the big Good Vampire Hero the way Seely Booth Angel was a champion sniper vampire in his show.

Cain feels something change. And Shade the Changing Man breaks from reality completely.

I think those three four images are supposed to represent the whole of his life flashing before his eyes. The death of Troy Grenzer in the electric chair which is where Shade first came into our dimension, inhabiting the body of the serial killer. His short love affair with Kathy. Kathy disintegrating when Shade realized she was just an illusion created by the M-Vest. And the Enchantress.

Shade ends up transporting himself to the Area of Madness. With this being Milligan's last issue of Justice League Dark, I wonder if he's going to pull Shade from the group? Perhaps save him for some future stories. Jeff Lemire is coming in to helm this comic next month and I'm sure he'll have some of his own favorite characters he'll bring to the group.

The next page just about does it in for me. Kathy is there, in the Area of Madness, waiting for him. She's solid and real and everything. Everything. Know this: Peter Milligan's Shade the Changing Man was one of the greatest comic experiences I've had. It was the character I needed to be reading at that time of my life. It was a story I needed to read. And it's obvious it meant a lot to Milligan to tell it.

Shade senses the change in Writers, something beyond their understanding. And Milligan is pulling him from the team to save his story for himself.

Well, I wanted to read more stories with Constantine and Shade written by Peter Milligan. So it's probably time to pull those Hellblazer trades written by Milligan off the shelf and give them a read. I hear Shade makes an appearance! But for now, Shade is out of the group and I should probably be getting back to Gotham to see who gets all the power.

Zatanna, Xanadu, and Mary decide if this is the end, they might as well go out fighting. They attack Cain and are repelled in just about one panel. Maybe two. So Zatanna's "I don't want to wait for death to come, whenever that monster chooses to kills us. I'm going to face it," quickly becomes, "TEG SU TUO FO EREH!" Great conviction, Zatanna! And what the hell happened with Xanadu's power shift Astral project crap? Anything yet?

Failures! Or, in internetese, LOOSERS! Fuck me! I can't let that stand! Hey, Internet! It's LOSERS! Just one fucking 'O', got it?!

Deadman and Constantine come back from the afterlife without a hitch. Probably because Hades is busy trying to fuck Wonder Woman. Hey! Maybe that's why Andrew Bennett hasn't actually 'died' yet! Because Hades and all of his minions are busy with the wedding plans and getting Hades' Amazonian bride prepared!

And possibly because Hades was busy, and possibly because Xanadu got the Crystal Blue Guy to transfer some power from Cain to Andrew (?), and possibly because John and Boston pleaded with Bennett to rethink the staying dead bit, and possibly because, as Hippie John mentioned before, a vampire as old as Andrew Bennett cannot die unless he allows himself to die, Andrew Bennett is able to rematerialize to defeat Cain in I, Vampire #8.

I guess Mindwarp and his Seizure Soul weren't exactly crucial to this team after all.

Justice League Dark #8 Rating: +1 Rating. Totally biased rating because I loved the four pages centering around Shade. Anyway, that puts it just ahead of Frankenstein which is written by Jeff Lemire who is going to be taking over the writing duties of this comic anyhow.

I am a little bit concerned about the frequency with which DC is changing writers on all of these titles. Writers aren't really known for coming on to a project and trying to keep the story, plots and themes centered around the past writer's efforts. Every time a writer has changed in a series so far, it's been a complete restructuring of the book. Green Arrow: J.T. Krul turns Ollie into a total asshat with no whimsy or sense of humor and then Giffen comes along and makes it a much better read and yet a third writer comes along and keeps the quality up. Legion Lost: plot abandoned and character motivations changed immediately. Voodoo: huge twist, change of motivations, killed all recurring characters from previous story arc. Stormwatch: Well, that just went from the main story by Cornell to a two-part side story and is going to switch up again when Milligan comes on. Maybe Shade will join Stormwatch!

I'm just asking for a bit more consistency than shuffling writers two or three times a year.

Justice League Dark #7

Has Zatanna's costume always been lingerie? Didn't she used to wear a top hat?

Justice League Dark has finally become a proper team. Well, as proper as they're ever going to get. At the beginning of this issue, John Constantine is already trying to walk out because they're going to fight a few vampires. They're going to fight some vampires because Madame Xanadu had a vision of the ending of I, Vampire Issue Six and now she thinks the world needs their help to stop the daddy of all vampires, Edward Cain!

Nearly all issues of all comics ever are still on sale somewhere! But forget that. Look how cute Zatanna is here! *swoon*

Shade and his M-Vest transport everyone to Gotham City. They're all lucky they didn't end up on Meta. Or Apokolips! I wonder if Shade's time with the Suicide Squad is still part of the DCU's history? Gotham, at the moment, is being overrun by vampires. Hasn't this happened before?
One more time: Why the hell does anybody live in Gotham?!

Since all of Batgirl's villains seem to be metaphors about her life, what do the vampires represent? Painful menstruation? Anemia from an iron poor diet?

Deadman and Constantine keep Batgirl from being bitten. She recognizes them as 'Zatanna's team' and Constantine seems a bit miffed by that. SRSLY! I thought it was Madame Xanadu's team!

Is there anything Batman doesn't know about? They just fucking agreed to form and he's gossiping about them to the Bat-Family.

The last few vampires have to be taken out with Constantine's axe since Shade can't seem to control his Vest and the others seem to be losing their magical ability. Once they're dead, Batgirl takes her leave since Batman 'ordered' her across town. Maybe the Night of the Owls is starting right after the Twilight of the Vampires is dealt with.

Meanwhile, Batman, Hippie John, and Tig get one panel to themselves. John blames Tig for what's happening since, apparently, Andrew Bennett was the only thing keeping evil at bay! Hopefully that will be explained in the next I, Vampire when we see that Bennett is somehow still alive.

Shouldn't you have seen this coming in time? Maybe you should summon Etrigan!

The first half of Xanadu's plan is for Deadman and Constantine to travel to the afterlife and retrieve Andrew Bennett. Oh yeah, that's a great plan. The second half of her plan is to take an astral vacation. While she's gone, Shade manages to teleport himself, Zatanna, and Madame Xanadu's husk on to the rooftop where Batman, John, and Tig are fighting vampires. That wasn't part of the plan but it's probably been the most successful move yet. Any move that gets you closer to Batman is a good one.

Xanadu's Astral Vacation Destination: The Astral Zone of the Crystal One.

I have no clue who this crystal guy is. Or how he's going to help Xanadu which will make her Dark team hate her. Maybe he's going to link their spirits so that they must continually associate with each other across the rest of their journey along the paths of reincarnation. It's Peter Milligan so it'll probably be something like that.

Justice League Dark #7 Rating: +1 Ranking. These characters and this comic deserve to be ahead of Frankenstein, Agent of Shade. But I'm not sure this comic can rise much further up the ranks until it really sets out on its own. That means getting past this crossover with Andrew Bennett. I can't wait until Milligan really begins to cut loose with this crew.

Justice League Dark #6

Xanadu brought them together. Destiny had no hand in it!

Last issue completed the June Moone story arc. Xanadu separated June from The Enchantress so that The Enchantress would wind up destroying the world if the Magic Justice League didn't form. Well, Deadman, Zatanna, Constantine, Shade, and the Seizure Guy came together and solved the problem. But they decided not to stay together and it made Xanadu cry. I'm guessing some other disaster will bring them together again until it sticks. Maybe that disaster will begin this issue!

Constantine has set the city of London ablaze because of some scam he was trying to pull with a bunch of bankers. He tried to summon a demon that would make them rich like that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with the kid from Home Improvement who was going to sacrifice Cassandra, the girl who knew she was going to die, to summon a demon that would make them rich! But Constantine didn't have a Buffy around to kill the demons and now London is burning.

Deadman and Zatanna are hanging around not helping. They seem to be their for "I Told You So"s and lectures.

Well, excuse the bloody fuck out of John! Ew. Bloody fuck.

During whatever this chaos is that Constantine created, Zatanna has cast a backwards spell that is stuck in some kind of infinite loop and creating skinless zombie things that have been chasing her in-between her lecturing Constantine. They finally catch up with her and shove a whole bunch of fingers into her mouth so that she can't say any spells. They might stick her fingers in her other orifices as well. Why not? You can never be too safe! I'm pretty sure I once knew a witch that could cast spells with her vagina. At the very least, she could hypnotize with it.

Shade is off somewhere trying to recreate Kathy George with his M-Vest and his memory. At some point, I'm going to reread Shade the Changing Man so I can remember what happened to Kathy. It's possible she was dead throughout the entire run of Shade the Changing Man, killed by Troy Grenzer (Was that his name? I can't believe I remember his name if that's his name!) at the very beginning and only kept alive by Shade's M-Vest. It's been a long time since I reread that series. Long overdue. Oh, and how is Shade's recreation of Kathy going?

Yeah. Not so well.

It turns out these are just the nightmares of the Magic Justice League members. Constantine losing control. Zatanna being chased by something she set loose long ago. Shade's loneliness and desperate need. And Deadman has been having hallucinations that he's killed Dove. He believes the problem with his mind stems from his trying to possess the dangerous mind of John Constantine. The four of them end up running into each other at Madame Xanadu's place in search of some help. Sounds like a certain fortune teller might be causing these nightmares to drive the mages back to her side.

I wonder how she knows so much? Oh yeah! She's a manipulative barn owl! And by barn owl, I mean cunt. But I didn't want to sound misogynistic.

The monster woman that was supposed to be Kathy George that was also supposed to be a dream attacks them at that moment. See? You can see her root-like hairs in the lower right of the scanned panel. She's angry and sad that Shade has left her without giving her a proper name. And Shade doesn't know how to fight back because this creature still represents the woman he loves. Zatanna's backwards magic fails so Deadman takes control of Shade and attacks it. The creature, unable to destroy the M-vest which created it, destroys itself instead. And Xanadu's apartment.

After the battle, Xanadu continues her explanation.

Seriously, guys? You're going to listen to a woman that was fucking Etrigan?

Zatanna has worked with the Justice League before, so she's used to being a part of a team. And Deadman is kind of forced to work with other people all of the time. Madame Xanadu is working with another team right now in Demon Knights although that's about 1000 years in the past. I guess if you count Kathy, Lenny, Pandora, and, um, Pygmalion? (Forgive me if I, once again, have gotten these Shade the Changing Man characters names all wrong) as teammates, then Shade has also worked with a team. Constantine does whatever he feels he has to do, so I figure he'd at least be curious enough to see where all of this goes. The only problem is each one of them is used to being the only magic-user of the group. At least they all attack problems in various ways, so the group is actually quite diverse (like the Challengers of the Unknown! Ha ha!). I'll buy the premise that they'll all decide to form a group simply because I want to read this comic where they work as a team!

After this informative little meeting, Xanadu collapses with a vision.

House of Secrets Cain?! He's a vampire! Yeah, yeah. I bet he's not the House of Secrets Cain but I bet they try to make him the Biblical Cain anyway which would make him the House of Secrets Cain! And I guess I need to switch over to read I, Vampire now!

Justice League Dark #6 Rating: No change. This story was mostly an epilogue to the last five issues. Getting this team together was never going to have an easily believed reason but Milligan has done a good job of at least making them drag their feet while agreeing to the team. And I want to read a comic book with Shade and Constantine together, so I'll swallow any reason to get them together! Even if that reason were made of semen and the tears of kittens! Which it may have been.