Static Shock #8

I needed some past secrets revealed before reading Issue #6!

As the story opens, Static is chasing some lonely journal-writing lesbian book-reader across the skies of New York. This girl is inside some giant creation that looks to be made of train cars. But it might be made up of various apartments of the building she lived in because the girl is in the main compartment and it looks like a living room. The other compartments that snake out behind her big one seem to house people as well. And I think she might be trying to commit suicide by throwing herself in a volcano.

Technically, Captain Atom isn't responsible. But hey, fuck him! He sucks! And he's at least responsible for leaving it in the middle of New York after he brought himself back to life! What a fucking jerk! His comic deserves to be canceled!

Looks like the people trapped in the contraption (is that why it's called a conTRAPtion?!) put the girl's secrets on the internet and exposed her most precious thoughts to the world. They must have gotten a hold of her journal. That'll teach her to not listen to her mother and waste all her time writing in a journal! Man, I hope nobody ever puts my private journal online!

Hey! Want to read a bit from my journal?! Okay. *ahem*

February 27th, 1996.
Dear Diary. I mean Journal. That sounds more manly.
Today I touched a girl's bottom. It was so smooth and delicate. I was rubbing her back and I said I can't go any lower or I'll be in her pants. And she said, "Go ahead, rub me lower." And so I slid my hand down the back of her pants and rubbed her ass! I rubbed it so good! OH MAN DID I RUB THAT FUCKING ASS! But then my friend Ken lying between me and my chick, had to start talking about postmodern something or others or some stupid shit! Shut up, Ken! I'm trying to score. Is it possible to score with Ken lying in-between us? Who knows but I'm going to fucking try!

Later that day: I jerked off in the airplane lavatory. Right on the mirror. And then I smeared my semen around with a kleenex and left the Kleenex in the sink to make it look like someone sneezed on the mirror. Except the whole front of the plane smelled like semen so maybe that was a bad idea. I think the flight attendant wanted to fuck me. But I'm pretty sure I'm heterosexual.

All in all, a good day!

Boy! That would be embarrassing if anybody ever read that! But who fucking reads tumblr, right? Everything I write on tumblr is tl;dr! People only look at animated .gifs on tumblr, so I doubt anybody will ever read that!

Back to the comic book, Static Shock is the man! He's trying to keep this girl from killing herself and he's trying to save her by banging the fuck out of her! I think. I'm pretty sure that's his plan.

Look at the look on her face! I think he just slid his dick in!

And after he has sex with the victim, he turns to the bullies. Wait wait wait. I didn't mean she was a victim because he had sex with her! I meant she was a victim of the bullies who put her most personal thoughts online. And then he had sex with her in front of them. Hmm, that can't be good. Maybe he didn't have sex with them? I think Static is a virgin. He's holding out to beat Vanessa's pussy up.

Static Shock is the best comic I've ever read. I should probably drink more often while reading comic books!

Holy fuck! And now he's gettin' it on with the bullies! Static Shock has the most photoshopped sex of any comic I've read! I should call it Static Shop! Or Static Shoop! And all I needed to do to photoshop this one was add a period!

The rest of the comic is Virgil talking to a psychologist at school. He's fairly honest but he keeps all of the static stuff cloaked in metaphor or analogy. Or poems. Whatever literary word I'm looking for there! Hey, Dad! Are you watching as I prove that you wasted all that money on a Literature Degree! Ha ha! In your face!

Virgil sort of tells his origin story. Then at one point, he says he found a job after school. He's talking about working with other super heroes. And now I'm wondering if the cartoon was any good! I probably never watched it because of some subconscious racism on my part! "Oh, a black hero! BORING! Maybe Yu-Gi-Oh is on the other channel!"

Is there a Yu-Gi-Oh comic book? I would read the fuck out of that! One of the things I liked best about the cartoons was that they really seemed to be making the rules up as they went along. And then my nephew was into the card game for awhile but he was too young to really know the rules. And then I played it on the Playstation and it was the most awesome game ever! And I never did quite understand the rules. And it was worse on the Xbox 360 arcade version! You could have a match against the computer and he'd win in one turn and since there was no pause feature to read the cards, there's every possibility the computer was cheating by just playing his cards quickly!

I once lost in a Magic Tournament because my opponent played his cards super quick. What a fucking jerk! I was fairly new to the game and was playing a five color Seasinger/Haven deck. My seasingers would steal my opponent's creatures and then I'd stick them in the Haven and untap my Seasinger for the next creature. I was beating this one guy by running his deck out of cards. But he played Feldon's Cane and then tapped it and used its effect really quickly. I'd never seen the card before so I asked to look at it. And while I looked at it, he played out the effect by shuffling his graveyard into his library. Meanwhile, I had a Counterspell and could have stopped it from being summoned. Fuck him! FUCK THAT ASSHOLE!

Where the hell was I? Where'd I leave my Static Shock comic book? Oh, here it is. Okay, so back to Static.

Virgil's psychologist plays the "I care so much" card and then turns it around and says she thinks he might be abused by his parents! So she checks his arms for bruises and, luckily, doesn't find any because of his healing factor. Just as things are getting kind of tense, Virgil's friend Quentin sets off some fire alarms by blowing shit up in the science lab. Virgil is saved by the bell and books it out of the psychologist's office.

Best issue yet. Also, the last one.

Static Shock Issue #8 Rating: +2 Ranking! Yes, +2! I imagine that the issues I really didn't like may have worked a lot better for people who have been following Static all this time. But these last two issues were wonderful! Issue #7 and #8 develop a comic that I would be interested in reading. Too bad the comic is over now. But I have a sneaking suspicion (unless it's a sinking suspicion!) that I'll be seeing Static Shock over at Teen Titans fairly soon. I mean, they're going to have to replace Skitter at some point! Fucking useless bug girl.

Static Shock #7

Hopefully this issue will be comprehensible.

Last issue, the most interesting thing about this comic (the cloned sisters) was resolved. Sharon Two saw Static treat his clone with respect and trust and so she decided to treat Sharon One the same way. So she took her middle name as her first name, Cassandra. And everybody lived happily ever after.
Except me! That was stupid bullshit! But I can't blame the writer, Scott McDaniel. At least not completely. Some blame has to go to DC for cutting the book short and ruining McDaniel's story arc. But that's all behind us now! Two more issues that don't have to worry about anything but completing themselves within one issue. Or something. That sentence was stupid.

I think that might be wrong.

This issue begins with Static flying around blasting things and dodging missiles while thinking about how he's been doing this for two years and how people in the country have sex with farm animals. I'm not sure how that fits in but it could make for an exciting story arc!

Static finds himself battling two war droids. I just mistyped Static's name in that last sentence (but then corrected it so bad ass you'll never know I fucked up in the first place! (except that I'm telling you now)) and typed 'Stasis'. That should be his nemesis. And it should be a cute chick in his class named Stacy S. Hybernate. She would be a fat mathlete with acne and braces and greasy pig tails and she'd develop a huge crush on Static. She'd plan out he beginnings of crime sprees that would never actually develop past the point where Static arrives and then she'd flirt with him as he tried to put her down. And she'd talk about how they have so much in common because static refers to something being stationary or fixed and how something in stasis is static and maybe Stasis could get a little Static in her!

I decided to draw her. STASIS! Oh! And she has a lisp! So she calls herself, "STATHITH!"

Back to this comic book which isn't anywhere near as good as the comic book in my head, the story goes back in time 68 minutes so that the reader can see how Static ended up fighting two War Droids. You know what I would have liked? I would have liked the story to just start 68 minutes ago and we'll get to the androids when we get to the fucking androids. You got that new writer Marc? Stop trying to be all Epic Poemy and shit. You suck at it.

Static's shirt is imaginary! Ha ha!

Virgil and his sisters are headed to Star labs because his sisters need to know which one is the real sister. I'm sure they'll find out that there's no way to actually tell because the cloning process duplicated the cells exactly and they'll be exact exact duplicates. Then they'll just have to hold some kind of contest. Like maybe a kissing contest. With each other!

Once in the lab, Doctor Lewis, some STAR Labs hotshot asshole, spoils Teen Titans #6 for me! What a fucking douchebag. Hey, Doctor! I hope you're a surgeon because you're going to have to remove my foot from your ass in a second! Ha ha! Oh, the old jokes are the best!

Oh man that sounds so fucking hot!

Before the test can get started, the War Droids attack STAR labs! Virgil heads into the hall and changes into Static so he can go bust their metal asses. Back in Doctor Lewis's lab, the Quantum Entanglement Spectrometer collapses and almost kills the Sharons. And it collapsed before we could see them entangled! No fair.

Static confronts the War Droids because he still doesn't know why they're attacking.

Aha! I see the problem.

Static's electricity doesn't work just like it hasn't worked before. So instead, he uses his electricity to turn the robots into electromagnets. Which he's done before. Come on, Static! Get a new schtick! Oh! Oh! Schtick should be another character in the new Static Shock series featuring Stasis! Schtick could be Static's pre-school sidekick! His power will be the ability to fill a room with a smoke screen and every time he uses his power, he'll yell, "I'M SMOKIN'!" and he'll fake like he's smoking a cigarette! I'm not going to draw him.

After the robots collapse, Static checks out their internal logs and finds they were programmed to go apeshit crazy. So he does some more smart guy stuff and locates the mystery person who has infiltrated STAR labs to cause trouble. While he's hunting for this guy, Vanessa, the chick back home he has a huge hard-on for, calls him up.

Probably because you're a giant pussy who also got his start on a children's television show!

The mystery guy turns out to be a villain named PHAYZE! He's stealing stuff from STAR labs and can go through walls and shit. He subtitles himself the Master of Density! And since Static can't stop him normally, he super charges Phayze's molecular bonds so that they stay nice and tight and Phayze can't get through the walls anymore. Nice one! And I won't even try to deconstruct how stupid it is!

Turns out the guy was stealing an invention that combines hydrogen and oxygen from the air to create fresh water. Sounds great except for that part about Hydrogen not really being abundant down where the stupid thing will be set up to make water. But he's stealing it for a country that desperately needs water so Static contacts Hardware, makes sure Hardware has another one (because Hardware made it!), and lets the guy leave with it. That's something Superman would do!

The sisters never get their testing done but they don't actually need it anymore. When the equipment fell on them, one sister reacted and saved the other. That was all the proof they needed to know that they were different. And that's all they needed to continue with their sham doppleganger lives!

Also, it turns out Virgil did tell Cassandra (Sharon Two) that he is Static. So she was just pretending along with him at the dinner table last issue. But Static doesn't feel comfortable telling his other sister! I guess Static treating them like two separate people also helps make the sisters different as well. Although only one of them knows about that!

Static Shock Issue #7 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic was much, much better. It really works nicely without all the clutter that it's been dragging around with it for a few issues. I'm glad that syndicate is gone and all the crap that came with it. I think sometimes an author just wants to go for broke and throw as much as he can into the mix. But in a 20 page comic that comes out monthly, I think all it can do is overwhelm the reader and clutter up the good parts of the storyline.

Static Shock #6

I wonder if Technique's nemesis is Risque?

Last issue, one of Static Shock's sisters was kidnapped by the Crime Syndicate that may or may not have a cool super villain name because I can't remember. And Static was about to go rescue her with help from the mysterious voice that set him up the bomb headquarters: Hardware! I think.

Static finds that Piranha's barge was a big fake Trojan horse thing. The ship that actually hid within the garbage barge, the one that his sister is one, has disappeared. Static isn't sure if it went up or down river until his eyes start hurting. In pulses. Someone sent him an ultraviolet SOS that he can follow.

I think.

See? He's saying 'ow' in that Morse code fashion? But no indication why. And then there is a trail of lights that he follows.

Static's sister is brought before some guy named David Davidson. He also goes by Darkstar. Sharon recognizes him as the man who kidnapped her and created her doppleganger. Or the man who took the real Sharon and created her. One of those.

Static follows his light trail to a place in the river where it suddenly submerges. Before he can come up with some plan to make some kind of magnetic air bubble or some way to ionize the water around his face to separate the hydrogen and oxygen so he can, um, kind of breathe, maybe, Hardware and Technique arrive to help him out.

Then some shit goes down and past story lines are referenced and it's late and I'm not being tested on what the fuck just happened in this comic so fuck it. It's over in two more.

The final battle where Piranha turns on Darkstar and Darkstar decides not to deal with Nemo so Nemo throws his Q-Juice into the Dimensional portal and.... Hey! I have no idea what's gone on before this. But has the Big Bang where Static got his powers ever been explained? Because maybe Nemo's Q-Juice was the cause because the portal sent it through time and space to that day where everyone got their powers. Probably not though. One of the reasons I could barely follow this issue was because they were relying on knowledge of pre-New 52 Static Shock comics.

Alkali turned out to be a Static clone. So not only was Static's sister cloned, he was as well. But Alkali ends up being sucked into the portal when he throws Davidson in to destroy it somehow. I don't know what happened to Nemo or Piranha or most anybody!

What do they have to talk about? She doesn't know that's her brother, right?

Yeah, she doesn't know. So what did he need to talk to her about? Being true to yourself? Did he sing a Mulan song to her?

Static Shock Issue #6 Rating: -1 Ranking. Okay, okay. I didn't really try very hard with this comic. But it felt like they were tying up as many loose ends as possible at once because the comic was cancelled. It also fails because the writer is also the penciller. I gave up trying to figure out what was happening in the action scenes with Piranha versus Darkstar versus Hardware versus Nemo versus Darkstar's Aliens versus Piranha's Thugs versus Static versus Technique versus Alkali. All I know for sure is that Darkstar and Alkali (Static Clone) ended up in the portal and it was closed. And David Davidson (Darkstar) was behind all of Static and his sister's problems. So story arc over. I guess.

Static Shock #5

How does one become a man with a piranha head? What if he'd gotten a gerbil head? Would he still have gone into crime?

In the last issue, Static was thrown into the Hudson River and being dragged to a watery grave by a couple of newly made super villains: The Firestone Man and Mr. Concrete. His electric powers aren't any good against these guys because of what they're skin has become. But he has another trick up his sleeve.

Just no. NO.

I'm all for Static Shock knowing how his powers work and using normal physical laws to his advantage but I'm not all for the assumptions he makes being correct! Please tell me why a man who has been transformed into a walking rubber tire also has steel belts lining the inside of his new rubber skin? What universal law would make him suddenly transform exactly into Steel Belted Tire? And why would the man who turned into concrete automatically have rebar set within him?! This may just be a comic book but even I have my limits on what I'll buy!

I phrased that wrong because I'm still 'buying' Captain Atom comics when they suck everything.
Static gathers up the nogoodniks and takes them to police in time to make his curfew! Another story wrapped up nicely. Except we're only on page four. So I guess there's more.

A whole bunch of confusing more. We learn about Static's origin. How he ended up on Paris Island the night of the Big Bang because he wanted to kill a guy who had been picking on him. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. And then some gas or something was released and he and a bunch of other people gained super powers.

Piranha gets the wins the bid for some job for the crime syndicate because he killed Static while the jet ski kids couldn't handle it. But the Main Mojo wants to know for sure if Static is dead since no body was recovered. So he tells Piranha to bring him one of the Lindbergh Babies. I have no idea what he's talking about but they kidnap one of Static's Sharons (you know, his sister clones). So Sharon must be one of these Lindbergh babies? But how can she prove Static is dead? And apparently Sharon has been kidnapped before. I think that's when she came back as two Sharons.

Static is now on his way to save Sharon (or Clone Sharon. Does it matter?) But that will happen next issue. I just don't have anything else to say about this issue. It gave me Static's origin which I didn't know before this but the rest was just confusing. Maybe if I knew more about Static before reading this comic, I'd like it. But as it is, I'm really not sorry to see that it's been cancelled.

Static Shock #4

All the super villains want a piece of Static's ass.

Last issue, Piranha and Paleman (the Joker like-a-look) bought some drugs called 'Q-Juice'. It's supposed to give normal people super powers. But so far, it's only managed to kill five of Piranha's men. So the dealer decides to show Piranha the Q-Juice Demo Model to prove that it works: Guillotina from the cover.

Her hair is razor wire!

The demonstration convinces Piranha to buy more of the Juice to make more super villains. This Q-Juice was used in Dakota during some past DC historical event (or Cartoon Network event) called the Big Bang. It seems to be where Static got his powers. And a number of other people. Probably every goofy villain that Static had to fight each week on the cartoon.

Also, it turns out Paleman is working undercover to infiltrate this crime ring that Piranha is involved in. I don't know who he's working for exactly. Just another shadowy government organization, I guess.

This time Piranha's Q-Juice works and creates a whole bunch of wacky critters for his criminal super army. And even though they're just criminal punks whose powers manifested randomly (those that didn't die from the Juice), they seem to have come around all set up with a name and an understanding of how to use their powers!

In the 15 seconds this guy has had his powers, he's named himself a stupid name, learned how to use his powers, and defeated Static Shock. That's some gooooood Q-Juice!

Static Shock is captured but not killed. Piranha thinks he owes him an honorable death at sea. But he should have been killed for using lines like this:

What business? The business of transforming into super villains?

I let Static Shock off the hook for too long. It is going to drop one ranking after this issue. The only real story going on here involves his sister and what happened to her. The other half of the story is a criminal syndicate that wants Static dead. So issue after issue, Static is fighting gangsters and super villains while he spouts stupid lines in every other panel. The comic needs more meat! It needs something to care about. Perhaps it's relying too much on pre-DCnU history? I wouldn't know since I never watched the cartoon or read any other comic books with Static in them. Thankfully, I only have four more issues of Static Shock to go before it's over. I hope its replacement comic is more interesting and not written by JT Krul.

Static Shock #3

Does Virule have Triforce kneepads because his name rhymes with Hyrule?

Since the comic book repeated this panel from Issue 2, I will too!

Remember this was happening? Well then this started happening.

Does electricity cause Chia Pets to sprout faster?

Coming in to contact with Static gets Virule pregnant. That thought box of Static's is because he's turning off the Yellow Power Ranger's Magnet Jet Ski and timing it so that the Jet Ski crashes into Virule and knocks him away. It also causes a Virule to have a miscarriage. OF JUSTICE!

That baby isn't any uglier than all the other newborns I've seen.

Oh! I wonder if Virule began replicating due to Static's healing power which might have kicked in again because Virule smashed him in the previously severed arm which was still a little bit messed up. Maybe Static can transfer his healing power! And maybe Static made his sister's Doppelganger by kissing her boo-boo when she fell down roller skating! Or, you know, some other plausible scenario.

The Green and Blue Power Ranger have gotten their Jet Skis working again and join in the fight, as does the NYPD in a helicopter. And some typical comic action happens that gets everybody nowhere so Static goes home as the Power Rangers escape and the po-po mope about because they couldn't catch the flying black kid.

Static's sisters are still up and they both try to convince Static that the other one is the clone. It's sort of a silly argument to be having. I don't know how this extra Sharon was created but if she's somehow an exact copy, right down to all of her memories, then it doesn't matter which one is the 'real' Sharon. But if she's a clone that only has the memories since when it was created, then it should be real easy to figure out which one is the clone. Maybe there's some kind of carbon dating or radiation reading to tell which one has been around longer. How long has she been a part of the family? I wonder if we'll find out at all since Static Shock is only going for eight issues.

Back at school, Virgil finds out more about where the Power Rangers hang out because of the blabbiest new recruit ever. So later that night, Virgil heads on over to a club with this gossip gangbanger to see where the Power Rangers hang out.

I think Gossip Gangbanger should be a television show.

Let's go clubbin' and sit around with our weapons out!

Static heads up to the top floor of this club where the other two Power Rangers are stealing secrets from some company and trying to figure out Static's identity by checking the names of everyone who just moved from Dakota into New York City. As they're doing that, Static sneaks in and takes one of them out by frying her brain. I'm sure it's just a temporary outage.

Meanwhile, back at the Criminal Cartel's headquarters, Virule professes his love for Static.

I've been feeling that need since 12 years old!

Static forces the Power Rangers to meet up with him by kidnapping the Red Power Ranger whose brain he fried. At the meet, the Rangers realize Static doesn't know anything and then order Virule to shoot Static in the head. But Virule's lust keeps him from killing Static. Instead he barges in and attempts to rape Static while the other Power Rangers get away.

True love!

But Static has very strict dating policies.

Does he chop off the hands of all of his suitors who try to take him further than he's willing to go?

Static apparently doesn't understand the mating rituals of the Virule people because Static ends up blasting Virule with all of the power he's able to siphon from a nearby power plant. Which seems to reduce Virule to a fine green paste. But it actually impregnated him with the force of 1000 invading barbarian tribes.

This issue still wasn't great but it was far less boring than the first two issues. And it had a love story! I think I just don't like the character of Static Shock. Most of his dialogue consists of trash talk or aggrandizing his own abilities. I heard enough of that bullshit in junior high. I guess Static is in high school though, so it fits the character. At least it fits better than Green Arrow saying the same bullshit! But even if it fits, I just don't care about Static. No change in the ranking.

Static Shock #2

I'm guessing everyone can escape Virule and the Slate Gang.

When Static Shock's arm is cut off (at the end of last issue and relived again at the beginning of this issue! In case everyone forgot), it causes a massive electrical explosion or some kind of intense feedback. The buildings surrounding Static Shock lose power but his arm snaps back into place. It looked like he was pure electricity instead of blood and bone. He complains that his arm burns and makes a magnetic cast for it but I'm guessing it's just find and the electricity and magnetism he creates with his powers simply prevents him from losing limbs. Not sure if it would work for his head though!

Static's arm is barely even hurt when he runs a diagnostic on it. So he's got some kind of super healing power and the ability to keep his limbs from falling off. That should come in handy.

This is Piranha and some Joker wannabe.

The criminal cartel trying to kill Static think the Slate Gang and Virule suck because they couldn't kill Static. I think they suck because they ride flying jet skis and shoot compact discs. Also, they're multicolored like the Power Rangers. That's never cool.

If they were cooler, maybe I would have compared them to Voltron.

The thing that's wrong about Static's sister that was alluded to last issue is that there is too much of her. 100% too much of her! It seems she has a doppelganger living with the family and nobody knows which one is the real Sharon. So they just let both of them live with them and treat them both as family. In this issue, they both share the same dream about the other one crawling out of their mouths. So far, this is the most interesting part of the comic book!

Static ends up chasing some of the Power Rangers around and easily takes out two of their jet skis since they levitate via magnetism. He then chases the Yellow Power Ranger up the side of a building where he ends up face to face with Virule. They fight for a few pages and then the comic ends with Static about to be filleted.

Whoops!

Nothing really exciting is happening in this comic and it has no hook. The most interesting thing so far has to do with Static's sister and that's just barely mentioned. But there also wasn't anything horrible about the story either. It's just bland and fairly boring. I'll leave it at the same rank for now but if the next issue is the same, it'll drop a rank for wasting my time.

Static Shock #1

I know nothing at all about this Super Hero.

Well, I like that on the very last page, he gets his arm cut off! I'm sure he has some sort of Static Electricity power that will reattach it. Like rubbing his arm on a cat and sticking it back on his shoulder. Other than that, I don't know about this book. Static (or Static Shock? He seems to call himself Static but the title page says, "Static Shock in...", so, um, I don't know!) is just another really smart kid who knows all sorts of physics stuff to help him take care of super villain problems. He sounds a bit like Mister Terrific in that he's spouting scientific hoodoo to explanaterize all of his crime fighterationing brainothoughts. He starts off simple with a little like charge repels like charge stuff to get everyone on the same page. "Oh, yeah! I know that works!" And then he goes on to making plasma chains out of ionized air particles and trying to disrupt electromagnetic fields with ball lightning. And he can see in the all the way into the ultraviolet spectrum! That's cool, right?!

If you were expecting pictures, you're not getting anymore for this entry. So if you hate reading and just want to see Static Shock, you should just Google Image Search 'Static Shock'.

Virgil Ovid Hawkins (that's his name!) is interning at Star Labs because he's so super smart. He also has one of those tech people who talk to him on a communicator and provide him with lots of cool gadgets. I don't know why. This guy must have discovered Static Shock and decided to use him for his own purposes while keeping him happy with gadgets and a secret hideout in the back of the Home Depot. The guy acts all nicety nice so he's probably really just a bad guy waiting to spring some manipulative evil world-conquering scheme on everyone. And Static will accidentally help out.

One thing I like about the comic is that Static Shock already has a cadre of super bad enemies after him. And one is a human piranha! And his code name is Piranha! Then one group seems to be some futuristic scooter crew with a big bad robot mascot named Virule. He's the one that shoots some Compact Discs at Static Shock which cut off one of his arms. The other people in the group just seem like corrupt city officials. They all want Static dead because Static ruined one of their capers where they were stealing technology from Star Labs. And then Static spoke with the thief before the Evil Cadre killed him so he wouldn't expose them. But they think they've been exposed already because he spoke to Static!

Also, something seems to be wrong with one of his sisters. But the comic didn't go into that much. It's just another reason he's interning at Star Labs. He's hoping they can find out more about whatever it is that's wrong with her.

That's really about all there is. There were some hints that he's not quite fitting in at school and he wants a driver's license but his dad won't let him get one. Hopefully they'll fit in a bunch of High School drama before the whole series ends on Issue #8. Yeah, this is another cancelled title. In fact, the last three Issue #1s I just read have all been cancelled!

52 at First Glance, Part Twelve

45. Blackhawks
Writer: Mike Costa
Pencils: Graham Nolan
Inks: Ken Lashley

I looked at a list of all the new titles for 52 when I first decided to get a few more titles besides Suicide Squad. Blackhawks wasn't even a blip of a blip of a possibility. The whole idea of the Blackhawks never really excited me much. It seems like, possibly (I'm ignorant of mostly the whole thing), they're kind of a Suicide Squad Military Deal but without super powers. But looking at the cover of the comic has me curious. It looks sort of like G.I. Joe. But made up of figures that your mom bought for you for Christmas from K-mart that were just G.I. Joe knock-offs.

It's very possibly that if I had seen this comic with this cover, I'd have picked it up out of pure curiosity.

46. Men of War
Writer?: Ivan Brandon
Writer?: Tom Derenick
Pencils?: Jonathan Vankin
Inks?: Phil Winslade

Same deal as Blackhawks. I wasn't interested when reading the list of titles. But the cover has sort of a silhouette of an army guy with his dog tags that say ROCK. So I'm pretty sure I would have picked this up. I've generally been a fan of one shot Sgt. Rock and Easy Company stories. I don't really have any expectations for this title. Is it going to be too serious? Who knows?! I'll know!

47. Teen Titans
Writer: Scott Lobdell
Pencils: Brett Booth
Inks: Norm Rapmund

I've got a long history of reading the Teen Titans so why wouldn't I give their new title a shot? The members on the cover look to possibly be Wonder Girl, Superboy, Flying Robin Guy, Dark Vortex Girl, Sort of Impulse Looking Shape Changing Grow Boy, and Arachnalass!

My prediction is a lot of drama! TEEN TITANS LETS GO!

48. Static Shock
Writer?: Scott McDaniel
Writer?: John Rozum
Pencils?: Jonathan Glapion
Inks?: LeBeau Underwood

The only thing I know about Static Shock is that he had a cartoon. I never watched it.