If Deathstork were actually any good, he wouldn't need laser sites to aim. Shit. Was that ableist? Does he need them because he only has one eye?! Oh, who cares. He's a pedophile!
Deathstroke #1 (March 2026)
By Tony Fleecs, Carmine Di Giandomenico, Ivan Plascencia, and Wes Abbott
Cover by Carmine Di Giandomenico
Edited by Marquis Draper and Brittany Holzherr
• I guess March is Anti-Hero Month at DC Comics because alongside Lobo, they've also released BatmanButWithTits¹ and Paedo the Terminator. It was probably a good move because idiots like me² figure as long as they're in the store picking up Lobo #1, they might as well pick up Batwoman #1 and Deathstork the Terminator #1 as well.
• While doing a little research to see if I've collected every volume of Deathstork that exists to date (I have), I noticed that this series was Volume 2 of Deathstork the Terminator and not Volume, I don't know, 3? 4? of simply Deathstork. In essence, this is a sequel to the early '90s series where Deathstork got to participate in Total Chaos and was almost outshined by a ginger troll from the future who loved to say, "Cheese this!" Boy, wasn't that an exciting time for Titans fans! Evil Nightwing! Rapist Mirage! Terry Long creeping out another generation of teenagers! Terra back to tempt Paedostork!
• I'm going to read this entire comic book while picturing everybody naked. Especially if Wintergreen is in it. I mean Rose Wilson! I fucking meant Rose Wilson!
• Oh, I'd also like to point out that I think Rose Wilson is 50-something so don't start talking about pots and kettles, you jerk! Rose was conceived while Slade was in Vietnam, right? So, you know, do the math! I mean, have your smart phone do the math! We're "All In", baby, and that means whatever happened in the DC Universe happened! Rose Wilson just looks young because she's full of super soldier semen. I mean serum.
By Tony Fleecs, Carmine Di Giandomenico, Ivan Plascencia, and Wes Abbott
Cover by Carmine Di Giandomenico
Edited by Marquis Draper and Brittany Holzherr
• I guess March is Anti-Hero Month at DC Comics because alongside Lobo, they've also released BatmanButWithTits¹ and Paedo the Terminator. It was probably a good move because idiots like me² figure as long as they're in the store picking up Lobo #1, they might as well pick up Batwoman #1 and Deathstork the Terminator #1 as well.
• While doing a little research to see if I've collected every volume of Deathstork that exists to date (I have), I noticed that this series was Volume 2 of Deathstork the Terminator and not Volume, I don't know, 3? 4? of simply Deathstork. In essence, this is a sequel to the early '90s series where Deathstork got to participate in Total Chaos and was almost outshined by a ginger troll from the future who loved to say, "Cheese this!" Boy, wasn't that an exciting time for Titans fans! Evil Nightwing! Rapist Mirage! Terry Long creeping out another generation of teenagers! Terra back to tempt Paedostork!
• I'm going to read this entire comic book while picturing everybody naked. Especially if Wintergreen is in it. I mean Rose Wilson! I fucking meant Rose Wilson!
• Oh, I'd also like to point out that I think Rose Wilson is 50-something so don't start talking about pots and kettles, you jerk! Rose was conceived while Slade was in Vietnam, right? So, you know, do the math! I mean, have your smart phone do the math! We're "All In", baby, and that means whatever happened in the DC Universe happened! Rose Wilson just looks young because she's full of super soldier semen. I mean serum.
The DC Wiki has a long list of Rose Wilson's powers but "talking while drinking" isn't one of them. I should update it!
• I wonder how many times Billy and Alfred have stood around smoking cigars and shaking their heads as they watched their "Masters" beat the shit out of each other? I bet they're best friends!
• Why's everybody in the Deathstork universe have white hair?
• Oh, I should finish Rose's thought for her from that last panel! She finishes her statement with "He's a killer." Well, I'm glad somebody isn't delusional about Slade Wilson! I mean, she's delusional in that she probably doesn't think he's a Paedo but, well, you know. All in, baby!
• I've often had people scream at me online in their defense of Deathstork, claiming he's not a pedophile at all. But did you read that part about how I have every single run of Deathstork comics?! You can like the character and still acknowledge that he knowingly groomed and fucked an underage girl. And don't take buy into Marv Wolfman's whole thing about Terra seducing Slade! Marv had some weird ideas about older guys and younger women. Also weird ideas about demons from other dimensions that super loved rape. He also once looked me straight in the eyes and said, "There will be an animated Elfquest movie." Okay, maybe not straight into my eyes and more like straight into the ears of everybody in the room at that panel at Comicon. But it felt like he ripped out my soul when that movie never materialized.
• Why was Marv Wolfman talking about an animated Elfquest movie? I don't remember the particulars but I think he was involved with the Pinis somehow trying to get it done. I don't think I'm remembering that wrong although I very well could be. I should also blame the Pinis for ripping out my soul but then they didn't create Terry Long so I can easily forgive them.
• Later that evening, Deathstork's on a job to murder somebody for money. He doesn't know who he's murdering for money because he gets extra money for murdering unknown people because it's harder to look Batman in the eye and say, "I'm not a villain! I'm an anti-hero! Like your dead sidekick!" Because you can't have the word "hero" anywhere near your name if you're fucking underage girls. I mean if you're murdering people without any knowledge of the people you're murdering. He's just taking the word of a person with a bunch of money that he's murdering a terrible person. Hell, maybe Slade doesn't even have to tell himself the world's a better place because he killed somebody. He just has to know the numbers keep going up in his bank account.
• Why's everybody in the Deathstork universe have white hair?
• Oh, I should finish Rose's thought for her from that last panel! She finishes her statement with "He's a killer." Well, I'm glad somebody isn't delusional about Slade Wilson! I mean, she's delusional in that she probably doesn't think he's a Paedo but, well, you know. All in, baby!
• I've often had people scream at me online in their defense of Deathstork, claiming he's not a pedophile at all. But did you read that part about how I have every single run of Deathstork comics?! You can like the character and still acknowledge that he knowingly groomed and fucked an underage girl. And don't take buy into Marv Wolfman's whole thing about Terra seducing Slade! Marv had some weird ideas about older guys and younger women. Also weird ideas about demons from other dimensions that super loved rape. He also once looked me straight in the eyes and said, "There will be an animated Elfquest movie." Okay, maybe not straight into my eyes and more like straight into the ears of everybody in the room at that panel at Comicon. But it felt like he ripped out my soul when that movie never materialized.
• Why was Marv Wolfman talking about an animated Elfquest movie? I don't remember the particulars but I think he was involved with the Pinis somehow trying to get it done. I don't think I'm remembering that wrong although I very well could be. I should also blame the Pinis for ripping out my soul but then they didn't create Terry Long so I can easily forgive them.
• Later that evening, Deathstork's on a job to murder somebody for money. He doesn't know who he's murdering for money because he gets extra money for murdering unknown people because it's harder to look Batman in the eye and say, "I'm not a villain! I'm an anti-hero! Like your dead sidekick!" Because you can't have the word "hero" anywhere near your name if you're fucking underage girls. I mean if you're murdering people without any knowledge of the people you're murdering. He's just taking the word of a person with a bunch of money that he's murdering a terrible person. Hell, maybe Slade doesn't even have to tell himself the world's a better place because he killed somebody. He just has to know the numbers keep going up in his bank account.
Oh look! Slade's actively making the world a worse place by killing a whistleblower!
• The typeface used in this series is going to drive me fucking batty. It's just too small! When I shrink a longer panel down to 600 pixels to fit within my blog's boundaries, it becomes really hard to read. Stupid Wes Abbott! Use Bold Arial or something so I can see it clearly!
• To make sure this first issue is super exciting, Tony Fleecs writes in a scene where Deathstork rides atop an armored car as it crashes off the eighth floor⁵ of a parking garage and into the middle of a special forces escort protecting his target. Slade's left hand holds his staff which is pressed down on the accelerator of the vehicle leaving him to shoot his semi-automatic rifle one-handed. He can do all of this because he's a super soldier and also because he's a comic book character but mostly because Tony Fleecs sat down to write this script and thought the answer to the question, "Should this be in any way believable, even as a comic book?" was "No! No! By all the Gods in Heaven, NO!"
• Deathstork explains to Wintergreen that the people he's killing who were just paid to protect a whistleblower don't mean anything to him. He doesn't hate them. He doesn't pity them. He barely even thinks about them as he cuts them all down and ends their one and only existence. But he does despise the people who pay him to kill people because they're all, "Do it this way! Don't do it this way!" Wintergreen is all, "I think that's what's called 'being employed'?"
• I'm glad to see Fleecs writing Deathstork as the sociopath he truly is. The only problem with having a monthly comic book about a villainous sociopath is that there's no motivation other than to watch them be awful monsters. That's why the bartender in Lobo #1 had that bit about some "honorable reason" needing to be "shoehorned" into their motivations. There's a big difference in an anti-hero monthly and a villain monthly. I thought I would enjoy Giffen's Eclipso monthly back in the early '90s and, hoo boy, let me tell you: booooooooooo-ring. Just nowhere to go, man! Aside from Eclipso walking around outside the panels on the pages, there wasn't much more to enjoy. Hopefully Deathstork, having a bunch of human connections in his life that he has to navigate, will allow for more drama and story fodder. Eclipso was just sitting on the moon being mad at stuff.
• Although as I say all that, I'm sure Deathstork will have some weird change of heart when he sets his eyes on the client for the first time. Probably be a clone of himself or something and he'll be all, "Wait? What?! I have to kill myself?! But, but, existentialist crisis!"
• To make sure this first issue is super exciting, Tony Fleecs writes in a scene where Deathstork rides atop an armored car as it crashes off the eighth floor⁵ of a parking garage and into the middle of a special forces escort protecting his target. Slade's left hand holds his staff which is pressed down on the accelerator of the vehicle leaving him to shoot his semi-automatic rifle one-handed. He can do all of this because he's a super soldier and also because he's a comic book character but mostly because Tony Fleecs sat down to write this script and thought the answer to the question, "Should this be in any way believable, even as a comic book?" was "No! No! By all the Gods in Heaven, NO!"
• Deathstork explains to Wintergreen that the people he's killing who were just paid to protect a whistleblower don't mean anything to him. He doesn't hate them. He doesn't pity them. He barely even thinks about them as he cuts them all down and ends their one and only existence. But he does despise the people who pay him to kill people because they're all, "Do it this way! Don't do it this way!" Wintergreen is all, "I think that's what's called 'being employed'?"
• I'm glad to see Fleecs writing Deathstork as the sociopath he truly is. The only problem with having a monthly comic book about a villainous sociopath is that there's no motivation other than to watch them be awful monsters. That's why the bartender in Lobo #1 had that bit about some "honorable reason" needing to be "shoehorned" into their motivations. There's a big difference in an anti-hero monthly and a villain monthly. I thought I would enjoy Giffen's Eclipso monthly back in the early '90s and, hoo boy, let me tell you: booooooooooo-ring. Just nowhere to go, man! Aside from Eclipso walking around outside the panels on the pages, there wasn't much more to enjoy. Hopefully Deathstork, having a bunch of human connections in his life that he has to navigate, will allow for more drama and story fodder. Eclipso was just sitting on the moon being mad at stuff.
• Although as I say all that, I'm sure Deathstork will have some weird change of heart when he sets his eyes on the client for the first time. Probably be a clone of himself or something and he'll be all, "Wait? What?! I have to kill myself?! But, but, existentialist crisis!"
Well, if these are the kind of self-preservation at any cost assholes that Deathstork's killing then I'm not going to think much about them either. Have fun, Slade!
• During Deathstork's assault on the compound where the target's being held, he's mentally composing a letter to Rose to apologize for being a murderous piece of shit father. I threw in the "murderous" there to distinguish him from all the other piece of shit fathers out there who didn't have to resort to murder to be truly awful. Deathstork's barely exceptional even if he got two out of his three kids killed. Lot of deadbeat dads out there who'd rather hate other men than love their kids.
• Deathstork kills a lot of random men and then he's knocked to the ground by a couple of non-random women.
• Deathstork kills a lot of random men and then he's knocked to the ground by a couple of non-random women.
Weren't these two in Resurrection Man? Enh, I'm probably thinking of somebody else and somebody else.
• Deathstork sets up these women and their "Body Doubles, bitch!" entrance by saying this: "Wintergreen, I've only got one eye . . . how is it that I'm seeing double?" But that would only work if the two women in Body Doubles looked identical. Which they absolutely don't. Which means Tony Fleecs only wrote that line to set up their "Body Doubles, bitch!" introduction to Slade. This is worse plotting than having an assassin ride an armored car through the air while shooting a semi-auto rifle with one hand!
• The dark haired woman of the Body Doubles duo probably shouldn't be dressed so Lolita-esque because now Deathstroke is going to want to fuck her.
• The dark haired woman of the Body Doubles duo probably shouldn't be dressed so Lolita-esque because now Deathstroke is going to want to fuck her.
See?! He's so gross! I can't wait to buy more of his comics!
• Wintergreen gives Slade some intel on the women in Body Doubles. They're names are Carmen Leno and Bonny Hoffman. They have healing factors. He doesn't give their ages which Slade wouldn't give a shit about anyway, I guess, so, well, Wintergreen knows the important stuff to pass along.
• One of the Body Doubles stabs Slade in the heart which causes him to see his life flash before his eyes. Grant. Joseph. Adeline. The young girl he groomed. You know, Tara! Say her name, right?! TARA! Was Tara Terra's actual name? Seems like a bad choice. Especially since she was a famous princess and everybody would be all, "She seems familiar?" Then she'd be all, "I'm Terra!" And everybody would be, "Oh! Yeah! Tara Markov! That's why she looked so familiar!" And she'd be all, "No, no! I said, 'Terra!' T. E. R. R. A. Dammit!"
• Slade remembers that he has a healing factor and stops seeing his life flash before his eyes. Then he stabs and shoots the Body Doubles before kicking in the door leading to his actual target. Who will it be? What will be the big reveal?! A Caucasian father! Divorced. Three kids! Will it just be a fucking mirror?!
• One of the Body Doubles stabs Slade in the heart which causes him to see his life flash before his eyes. Grant. Joseph. Adeline. The young girl he groomed. You know, Tara! Say her name, right?! TARA! Was Tara Terra's actual name? Seems like a bad choice. Especially since she was a famous princess and everybody would be all, "She seems familiar?" Then she'd be all, "I'm Terra!" And everybody would be, "Oh! Yeah! Tara Markov! That's why she looked so familiar!" And she'd be all, "No, no! I said, 'Terra!' T. E. R. R. A. Dammit!"
• Slade remembers that he has a healing factor and stops seeing his life flash before his eyes. Then he stabs and shoots the Body Doubles before kicking in the door leading to his actual target. Who will it be? What will be the big reveal?! A Caucasian father! Divorced. Three kids! Will it just be a fucking mirror?!
Surprise! It's Alfred's best friend!
• I hope that note is from Batman! But it's probably from Red Hood. Or, you know, Rose, maybe? Would Rose do this to Wintergreen? Of course she wouldn't! It's got to be, um, resurrected Joseph! Or resurrected Grant! Or resurrected Adeline! Or resurrected Tara! The only suspects Deathstork knows are all dead.
• It could be Memento Slade Wilson! Maybe he's trying to get himself to feel anything at all by taking a fuck-ton of Ambien every night so that he disassociates and then gives himself terrible experiences to ignite his feeling sensors! Seems like a lot of work when he could just go out and rent Pig.
• Wintergreen has been dead too long for Slade to do the kissy kissy of life on him. Later, Slade discovers that all his accounts have been drained of cash. His Gotham Bank account. His Deathstork, Inc account. Even his account at the Bank of Markovia which seems a little, um, inappropriate. Why's he gotta bank there after all this time?!
• So somebody used Wintergreen to steal all of Slade's money because Wintergreen had access to it all. If this were a movie, it would have to be Rose because she's the only other character in the comic book. Aside from Body Doubles but I think they were just there to establish some early nemeses for this ongoing series. Deathstork versus two nubile women who also have healing factors! So paedo!
• The issue ends with the person who has been talking to Deathstork this entire time pretending to be Wintergreen saying, "Tick tick, Slade." Then the room explodes. Slade lives but he ends his internal missive to Rose saying something like, "You said I was a killer. But now I'm worse than a killer because everybody stole everything from me and Wintergreen, who kept me in check, is dead and I haven't groomed a young girl in a long time! The world is going to rue the day, bitches!" That's when I stood up and applauded!
The Ranking!
How was this this good? Did I forget DC could publish good new comics after injecting my veins with Pure New 52 for five years (or was it six? How long did they give it before they were all, "Can we get Superboy to punch this universe too?"). I imagine whoever just pissed off Slade won't be the most exciting reveal when it happens (unless it's Batman. I mean, that would be a fucking twist, right? Maybe it's Alfred! Or is he still dead? All in, right?!) but I think I'll continue to get this series for at least one more issue. I love loving Deathstork! I've got to admit, knowing he's a paedo makes it a little bit more exciting. It's like, "Why do I like this character so much?! I'm so naughty!" Also maybe Tara was 28 and just pretending to be 14. If Hal Jordan could have his paedo tendencies retconned with comic book nonsense, Deathstork can too, right?! Maybe Tara was a Durlan who was actually three hundred years old. That would mean she was basically the paedo! Fucking Tara. So gross!
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¹ I was going to call Batwoman "Mature Batman" because in The New 52, any book in which the main character was a woman who had sex, it received a Mature Rating. Robin was over in Batman and Robin cutting off heads left and right while Batman tsked at him but did that get a Mature Rating? No sir! That rating was saved for Catwoman enjoying a good frolic and Batwoman scissoring or whatever lesbians do in bed. I'd probably have a better idea if I knew what a woman's naughty bits looked like. I hope the term "scissoring" isn't a visually descriptive term because now I'm fucking terrified.³
² You know. Mindless guppies.
³ Oh wait! I forgot to finish my point about calling Batwoman "Mature Batman"! I didn't do that because I noticed that Batwoman #1 was rated "13+" while Deathstork #1 and Lobo #1 were rated "15+". So has DC finally realized that graphic depictions of violence are more harmful⁴ than women having a fulfilling sex life?
⁴ The term "more harmful" here just means "possibly could cause people to complain if they found their five year old reading it" and not actually "harmful" in any fucking sense of the actual meaning of that fucking word at all. Although by that definition, I think I agree with The New 52 DC in that people would probably complain more about Catwoman having an orgasm while unmarried more than Robin cutting off a terrorist's head.
⁵ That's a guesstimate!
• It could be Memento Slade Wilson! Maybe he's trying to get himself to feel anything at all by taking a fuck-ton of Ambien every night so that he disassociates and then gives himself terrible experiences to ignite his feeling sensors! Seems like a lot of work when he could just go out and rent Pig.
• Wintergreen has been dead too long for Slade to do the kissy kissy of life on him. Later, Slade discovers that all his accounts have been drained of cash. His Gotham Bank account. His Deathstork, Inc account. Even his account at the Bank of Markovia which seems a little, um, inappropriate. Why's he gotta bank there after all this time?!
• So somebody used Wintergreen to steal all of Slade's money because Wintergreen had access to it all. If this were a movie, it would have to be Rose because she's the only other character in the comic book. Aside from Body Doubles but I think they were just there to establish some early nemeses for this ongoing series. Deathstork versus two nubile women who also have healing factors! So paedo!
• The issue ends with the person who has been talking to Deathstork this entire time pretending to be Wintergreen saying, "Tick tick, Slade." Then the room explodes. Slade lives but he ends his internal missive to Rose saying something like, "You said I was a killer. But now I'm worse than a killer because everybody stole everything from me and Wintergreen, who kept me in check, is dead and I haven't groomed a young girl in a long time! The world is going to rue the day, bitches!" That's when I stood up and applauded!
The Ranking!
How was this this good? Did I forget DC could publish good new comics after injecting my veins with Pure New 52 for five years (or was it six? How long did they give it before they were all, "Can we get Superboy to punch this universe too?"). I imagine whoever just pissed off Slade won't be the most exciting reveal when it happens (unless it's Batman. I mean, that would be a fucking twist, right? Maybe it's Alfred! Or is he still dead? All in, right?!) but I think I'll continue to get this series for at least one more issue. I love loving Deathstork! I've got to admit, knowing he's a paedo makes it a little bit more exciting. It's like, "Why do I like this character so much?! I'm so naughty!" Also maybe Tara was 28 and just pretending to be 14. If Hal Jordan could have his paedo tendencies retconned with comic book nonsense, Deathstork can too, right?! Maybe Tara was a Durlan who was actually three hundred years old. That would mean she was basically the paedo! Fucking Tara. So gross!
__________________________________________________________________________________
¹ I was going to call Batwoman "Mature Batman" because in The New 52, any book in which the main character was a woman who had sex, it received a Mature Rating. Robin was over in Batman and Robin cutting off heads left and right while Batman tsked at him but did that get a Mature Rating? No sir! That rating was saved for Catwoman enjoying a good frolic and Batwoman scissoring or whatever lesbians do in bed. I'd probably have a better idea if I knew what a woman's naughty bits looked like. I hope the term "scissoring" isn't a visually descriptive term because now I'm fucking terrified.³
² You know. Mindless guppies.
³ Oh wait! I forgot to finish my point about calling Batwoman "Mature Batman"! I didn't do that because I noticed that Batwoman #1 was rated "13+" while Deathstork #1 and Lobo #1 were rated "15+". So has DC finally realized that graphic depictions of violence are more harmful⁴ than women having a fulfilling sex life?
⁴ The term "more harmful" here just means "possibly could cause people to complain if they found their five year old reading it" and not actually "harmful" in any fucking sense of the actual meaning of that fucking word at all. Although by that definition, I think I agree with The New 52 DC in that people would probably complain more about Catwoman having an orgasm while unmarried more than Robin cutting off a terrorist's head.
⁵ That's a guesstimate!
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