So much shit happening in Gotham and Batman's gotta hassle Joel and Emma for "sitting on a park bench at night while Black".
The Cover
When I saw this cover, I thought, "Did this inspire Alan Grant to name his series Shadow of the Bat?" Then I looked up the release dates of this issue and Shadow of the Bat #1 because I knew it would be close. This came out about three weeks before Shadow of the Bat #1 So that doesn't make a lot of sense. But Eduardo Barreto may have known about Grant's upcoming series and was all, "Yeah! The shadow of the bat! Iconic, right?!" Of course, the idea that the shadow of Batman is an iconic image that falls across the faces of unsuspecting criminals as they're doing their criming just means that Barreto and Grant didn't need any specific outside influences to come up with their covers and the names of their comic book series, respectively. In other words, I should just delete everything I just wrote since it ultimately comes to naught. Then I should replace it with something like, "Barreto's cover for this issue shows how the people of Gotham do not just live under the constant light of the Bat Signal signifying danger and chaos (or justice and order?) but also under the direct shadow of the man who will pass judgment on them." The Bat Signal from last issue is a light in the dark. It is the hope. It is for the dreams of the people to live in a safe city. Batman's shadow, the swathe of darkness passing across the city, signifies fear and danger. For the criminals, of course! Not for old dying men and their wives wondering where to buy a shotgun in the middle of the night sitting on a park bench.
The Story So Far
The stories of the people we were introduced to in Issue #1 advanced a little in Issue #2, some more than others. Jennifer and Dio had the most plot progression as they engaged in conflict with intimate partners. Jennifer finding out the guy she just met that day who told her how he lied for a living was lying to her. And Dio, a criminal on parole, engaging in more criminal behavior and accusing his wife of infidelity. Noel learned he had six months left to live but, being that he looks like he's eighty, it couldn't have come as too much of a shock. I understand that being given a fairly credible end date to your life must be shocking no matter when it happens. But don't eighty year olds live every day thinking, "Fucking Christ oh my God it could happen at any moment how do I fucking block out the thought holy shit holy shit holy shit"? I've been thinking that way since I was nineteen! And, yes, I know that isn't healthy! Obviously I wish my brain worked differently!
Rosemary's story didn't really advance much either. She had a wet dream about marrying Batman with Lobo in attendance (that's what made it wet) and then cried when she woke up to her normal life. And, finally, we learned Jimmy, Jennifer's not-gay-at-all friend, was wrestling with the demons of a past relationship. It's possible he killed her and Jennifer's fucking lucky she hasn't climbed into bed with that psycho. Maybe hooking up with Ray the Lying Liar was a lucky break!
Batman's story so far? He wasn't anywhere to be seen last issue. But then this comic book isn't about him so what did you expect?!
The Story
This issue is called "Organisms". Why? How the fuck should I know! The majority of my reading consists of pictures with words. You think I'm able to make intuitive leaps of logic based on a word I can barely spell?! It is a weird choice though after "Giants" and "Dreams". Giants purported to describe the people which I'm guessing the "Organisms" is also describing. Sure, "Giants" could have specifically meant the buildings but the quote by Frank Lloyd Wright made it pretty clear Ostrander was talking about the residents of Gotham. And then we learned about the huge dreams of the sleeping giants. Now, in the light of day, everybody is just reduced to the generic "Organisms"? Like rats in a maze? Like amoeba on lice on rats in a maze? Seems like a real drop in stature for the main characters of this book.
When I saw this cover, I thought, "Did this inspire Alan Grant to name his series Shadow of the Bat?" Then I looked up the release dates of this issue and Shadow of the Bat #1 because I knew it would be close. This came out about three weeks before Shadow of the Bat #1 So that doesn't make a lot of sense. But Eduardo Barreto may have known about Grant's upcoming series and was all, "Yeah! The shadow of the bat! Iconic, right?!" Of course, the idea that the shadow of Batman is an iconic image that falls across the faces of unsuspecting criminals as they're doing their criming just means that Barreto and Grant didn't need any specific outside influences to come up with their covers and the names of their comic book series, respectively. In other words, I should just delete everything I just wrote since it ultimately comes to naught. Then I should replace it with something like, "Barreto's cover for this issue shows how the people of Gotham do not just live under the constant light of the Bat Signal signifying danger and chaos (or justice and order?) but also under the direct shadow of the man who will pass judgment on them." The Bat Signal from last issue is a light in the dark. It is the hope. It is for the dreams of the people to live in a safe city. Batman's shadow, the swathe of darkness passing across the city, signifies fear and danger. For the criminals, of course! Not for old dying men and their wives wondering where to buy a shotgun in the middle of the night sitting on a park bench.
The Story So Far
The stories of the people we were introduced to in Issue #1 advanced a little in Issue #2, some more than others. Jennifer and Dio had the most plot progression as they engaged in conflict with intimate partners. Jennifer finding out the guy she just met that day who told her how he lied for a living was lying to her. And Dio, a criminal on parole, engaging in more criminal behavior and accusing his wife of infidelity. Noel learned he had six months left to live but, being that he looks like he's eighty, it couldn't have come as too much of a shock. I understand that being given a fairly credible end date to your life must be shocking no matter when it happens. But don't eighty year olds live every day thinking, "Fucking Christ oh my God it could happen at any moment how do I fucking block out the thought holy shit holy shit holy shit"? I've been thinking that way since I was nineteen! And, yes, I know that isn't healthy! Obviously I wish my brain worked differently!
Rosemary's story didn't really advance much either. She had a wet dream about marrying Batman with Lobo in attendance (that's what made it wet) and then cried when she woke up to her normal life. And, finally, we learned Jimmy, Jennifer's not-gay-at-all friend, was wrestling with the demons of a past relationship. It's possible he killed her and Jennifer's fucking lucky she hasn't climbed into bed with that psycho. Maybe hooking up with Ray the Lying Liar was a lucky break!
Batman's story so far? He wasn't anywhere to be seen last issue. But then this comic book isn't about him so what did you expect?!
The Story
This issue is called "Organisms". Why? How the fuck should I know! The majority of my reading consists of pictures with words. You think I'm able to make intuitive leaps of logic based on a word I can barely spell?! It is a weird choice though after "Giants" and "Dreams". Giants purported to describe the people which I'm guessing the "Organisms" is also describing. Sure, "Giants" could have specifically meant the buildings but the quote by Frank Lloyd Wright made it pretty clear Ostrander was talking about the residents of Gotham. And then we learned about the huge dreams of the sleeping giants. Now, in the light of day, everybody is just reduced to the generic "Organisms"? Like rats in a maze? Like amoeba on lice on rats in a maze? Seems like a real drop in stature for the main characters of this book.
Oh look! Batman made the first page! I think. I suppose Alfred could be driving. You know what? Never mind.
There's a famous quote from Tennessee that I think about every time a comic book tries to trick me into believing a whole load of bullpucky: "Fool me once, shame on . . . shame on you. Fool me . . . you can't get fooled again." So very fucking wise.
The point of view follows the Batmobile as it drives home for the night as Ostrander, high as fuck on cough medicine, rambles about who can fucking tell?
The point of view follows the Batmobile as it drives home for the night as Ostrander, high as fuck on cough medicine, rambles about who can fucking tell?
This sounds suspiciously like an Ann Nocenti script.
I suspect what Ostrander's trying to say here in a super fancy "Look at the Professional Writer!" way is that the criminal element use their dreams of doing crime to steal the dreams of the people who don't do crime but the "dream hunters" (meaning Batman and the cops) make sure to drive their dreams right into the dirt and shit on them. But then Batman goes home to take a nap and dream about all the cash his cash makes without anybody having to do anything and also of coming on Catwoman's tits.
Ostrander gives birth to a few more Narration Boxes about dreams and the dreamers and dreams that dream and die and more dreams being born before he gets to the point: the dreamers are their dreams; they cannot be separated. After that, we get to see Jennifer in a towel fresh from a shower, as if this were a David Finch or Tony S. Daniels comic book.
Ostrander gives birth to a few more Narration Boxes about dreams and the dreamers and dreams that dream and die and more dreams being born before he gets to the point: the dreamers are their dreams; they cannot be separated. After that, we get to see Jennifer in a towel fresh from a shower, as if this were a David Finch or Tony S. Daniels comic book.
Oh, sorry. Not like those perverts at all. Jennifer's actually wearing an appropriate length towel.
Jennifer's shocked to find lady products in Ray the Lying Liar's bathroom because she doesn't understand the concept of having a sister who sometimes visits her brother in the big city. Also Ray admitted that he lies about everything so maybe she should assume the worst: Ray has a vagina! Wait. Is that the worst? I think I misspoke because I'm getting super horny thinking about my new version of this story.
Jennifer acts a bit hurt and grumpy over breakfast because she realizes Ray loves to fuck. But she loves to fuck too! They have that in common! Shouldn't she be excited? Well, no, I guess not. She finds it kind of gross that Ray wined, dined, and fucked her and now he's all, "Casual sex is pretty awesome!" But Jennifer seems kind of down on it for some reason. Ray makes a great point about how he didn't promise anything more than the good time they had and Jennifer throws out a hypothetical situation that if he had promised more it would have been a lie anyway because he confessed to lying all the time so she has a right to be angry because he, theoretically, lied to her.
Jennifer acts a bit hurt and grumpy over breakfast because she realizes Ray loves to fuck. But she loves to fuck too! They have that in common! Shouldn't she be excited? Well, no, I guess not. She finds it kind of gross that Ray wined, dined, and fucked her and now he's all, "Casual sex is pretty awesome!" But Jennifer seems kind of down on it for some reason. Ray makes a great point about how he didn't promise anything more than the good time they had and Jennifer throws out a hypothetical situation that if he had promised more it would have been a lie anyway because he confessed to lying all the time so she has a right to be angry because he, theoretically, lied to her.
I'm confused. Maybe they should just fuck again?
I don't understand his point about how Jennifer uses sex to keep people at a distance when having sex with a person means you're closer to them than ever. Have I been doing sex wrong?! Am I supposed to fling my semen at them from across the room? Is the only actual sex I've ever seen that scene in the prison from The Silence of the Lambs?!
If that's how Ray makes sure a one-night stand stays a one-night stand, he's pretty cool. Unless that's just how Jennifer makes sure a one-night stand remains a one-night stand. Then she's pretty cool! Are they both cool? Did they both just use their one-night stand tricks on each other? Was that a successful night for both of them?
At the same time Ray and Jennifer are arguing, Dio and Migdalia, his wife, are arguing as well. Dio comes in the window after being out all night, tells Migdalia to not question his actions, tells her to divorce him, and then leaves by the window. Does the apartment not have a door? How cheap must the rent be there?
Later at the train station where everything important happens, Batman buys a doughnut from the crazy lady and checks out Jennifer's ass.
If that's how Ray makes sure a one-night stand stays a one-night stand, he's pretty cool. Unless that's just how Jennifer makes sure a one-night stand remains a one-night stand. Then she's pretty cool! Are they both cool? Did they both just use their one-night stand tricks on each other? Was that a successful night for both of them?
At the same time Ray and Jennifer are arguing, Dio and Migdalia, his wife, are arguing as well. Dio comes in the window after being out all night, tells Migdalia to not question his actions, tells her to divorce him, and then leaves by the window. Does the apartment not have a door? How cheap must the rent be there?
Later at the train station where everything important happens, Batman buys a doughnut from the crazy lady and checks out Jennifer's ass.
Okay, so that's not Batman. It's Frank. But Rosemary believes he's Batman.
Jennifer finds Jimmy and cries on his shoulder about how mean the man she fucked the night before was. Jimmy probably doesn't mind because he's still fucking a ghost. Hopefully it's the ghost of a woman he killed and he'll wind up killing Jennifer too. I don't mean "hopefully" in the way you think I do! I don't want Jennifer to get killed. But I do want to read an exciting comic book.
Luckily for me and my need for excitement, Joel gets his hands on a gun so that he and Emma can die as one. Doesn't seem super fair to Emma but if she finds it romantic, who am I to say otherwise? What do I know about romance? I only just realized that I've been doing sex wrong!
Jimmy tells Jennifer about his wife and how she was killed by The Joker's gas. He blames himself because they'd had a fight and he left her on the streets of Gotham. He should blame Batman for never killing The Joker! Jennifer gets super wet over the story and realizes it was Jimmy she's wanted to fuck all along. But Jimmy's kind of pissed at her now and he heads to work without any promise of seeing her later. Her eyes turn into hearts now that Jimmy has told a story where he showed a little passion and also because he sort of shit on her and the way she acted with Ray. She needs to have sex with him now to keep him at a distance so that he can't hurt her!
Dio also gets his hands on a gun because he's got a cheating wife and her lover to kill. And since I've seen the cover to Issue #4, I know Rosemary also winds up with a gun. I guess Issue #4 will just be a wild shootout at the train terminal!
The Ranking
I felt like nothing actually happened this issue but then I guess that's sort of the point of this series, isn't it? Life just goes on in the normal, mundane, boring way that it goes on with little ripples of emotion and passion. In those moments, unseen feelings build, tensions grow, and people get their hands on guns. Then Batman has to save everybody's day after which he shakes his head and crushes the guns in his hands. Then The Joker kills another 3% of the population while Batman shakes his fists and screams, "Why didn't I just save one of those guns?!"
Luckily for me and my need for excitement, Joel gets his hands on a gun so that he and Emma can die as one. Doesn't seem super fair to Emma but if she finds it romantic, who am I to say otherwise? What do I know about romance? I only just realized that I've been doing sex wrong!
Jimmy tells Jennifer about his wife and how she was killed by The Joker's gas. He blames himself because they'd had a fight and he left her on the streets of Gotham. He should blame Batman for never killing The Joker! Jennifer gets super wet over the story and realizes it was Jimmy she's wanted to fuck all along. But Jimmy's kind of pissed at her now and he heads to work without any promise of seeing her later. Her eyes turn into hearts now that Jimmy has told a story where he showed a little passion and also because he sort of shit on her and the way she acted with Ray. She needs to have sex with him now to keep him at a distance so that he can't hurt her!
Dio also gets his hands on a gun because he's got a cheating wife and her lover to kill. And since I've seen the cover to Issue #4, I know Rosemary also winds up with a gun. I guess Issue #4 will just be a wild shootout at the train terminal!
The Ranking
I felt like nothing actually happened this issue but then I guess that's sort of the point of this series, isn't it? Life just goes on in the normal, mundane, boring way that it goes on with little ripples of emotion and passion. In those moments, unseen feelings build, tensions grow, and people get their hands on guns. Then Batman has to save everybody's day after which he shakes his head and crushes the guns in his hands. Then The Joker kills another 3% of the population while Batman shakes his fists and screams, "Why didn't I just save one of those guns?!"
No comments:
Post a Comment