Dice Guy and Pink Eye looking a little overconfident going up against Batman.
The Cover
If you picked this up off the rack on October 13th, 1992, you could be forgiven for thinking DC fucked up the cover by clipping it poorly. What happened to the little box surrounded by a solid color design?! But then on November 17th when you picked up Issue #8, you'd begin to understand that Brian Stelfreeze has painted a mini-poster for this three part series. It's more probable that by the time you picked up Issue #8, you'd have forgotten about the off-center image on Issue #7 and simply assumed they'd done away with the box design entirely since Issue #8's image extends to both the right and left borders, leaving it looking like a regular comic book cover (if you easily ignore the band on the bottom). But by Issue #9, with it looking the reverse of Issue #7, some astute readers would have dug out the last two issues and lined them up on their mother's kitchen table to marvel at DC and Brian Stelfreeze's work of ingenuity!
If you picked this up off the rack on October 13th, 1992, you could be forgiven for thinking DC fucked up the cover by clipping it poorly. What happened to the little box surrounded by a solid color design?! But then on November 17th when you picked up Issue #8, you'd begin to understand that Brian Stelfreeze has painted a mini-poster for this three part series. It's more probable that by the time you picked up Issue #8, you'd have forgotten about the off-center image on Issue #7 and simply assumed they'd done away with the box design entirely since Issue #8's image extends to both the right and left borders, leaving it looking like a regular comic book cover (if you easily ignore the band on the bottom). But by Issue #9, with it looking the reverse of Issue #7, some astute readers would have dug out the last two issues and lined them up on their mother's kitchen table to marvel at DC and Brian Stelfreeze's work of ingenuity!
Since DC apparently couldn't publish a cover without the UPC box, they could have at least centered it on the middle issue. Sure, it'd have been weird. But who the fuck cares?
We live in a world ruled by precedent and tradition for no reason other than the illusion of maintaining some kind of order and continuity. But we don't have to! If women could suddenly wear pants one day (and, sure, it was shocking (at least that's what I'm told?)) then men can wear skirts (and not just kilts because that's "acceptable". Skirts! Short skirts! Long skirts! Ruffled skirts! Colorful skirts!). And that's just one example of the infinite choices we could be making every day but we limit ourselves to fucking tradition and precedent. It's the bane of my existence because, yes, in some ways, I also limit myself due to tradition and precedence. Like in that skirt example that I didn't pick just out of nowhere. I want to wear fucking skirts. They're so fucking comfortable and — let's face the genu-wyne facts of the matter — absolutely adorable. But you know why I don't wear them? Because I don't like people noticing me. It makes me anxious and uncomfortable. So if I go out in a skirt, people, basing their existence on tradition and precedence, might assume I'm trying to disrupt things or make a statement or stand out in the crowd. But all it would mean to me is that I was cute and comfortable! But no! Instead DC Comics has to ruin the symmetry of their three cover mini-poster by off-setting the middle cover's UPC box! Look, they stuck the third cover's box to the right! Why can't they just stick the fucking thing in the middle?! Cowards! Yes, yes. I'm a coward too or else my wardrobe would be full of the cutest fucking skirts you'd ever laid your eyes on. So I'm a hypocrite?! So what! Maybe I'll got to Torrid tomorrow and pick up another skirt to at least wear around the house and while doing yard work! Let my neighbors drool with jealousy!
Yeah, I said "another" skirt. Go fuck yourselves.
Oh! This reminded me of a note from Richard F. Burton's footnotes in his translation of The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night! "In the East, where Common Sense, not Fashion, rules dress, men, who have a protuberance to be concealed, wear petticoats and women wear trousers." I'm glad I was reminded of one of his non-offensive notes! I could have been reminded of this one: "And, as will be seen, Persians have bequeathed to the outer world worse things than bad language, e.g. heresy and sodomy." Dude. DUDE.
Double oh! This double reminded me that recently I needed a new pair of pajama bottoms because my old pair with Superman's symbol all over it had a huge, sexy hole in the crotch. So I went to Hot Topic because who else is going to have tons and tons of various unisex pajama bottoms? Probably nobody was my immediate assumption. They were conducting a 60% off sale on their Wednesday products which happened to have pajama bottoms. Now I've never seen the show but everybody knows and loves The Addams Family (except maybe those weirdo The Munsters freaks) so I got a pair. When I put them on at home, I noticed they were definitely not unisex. They fit just differently enough to what I'm used to to realize they were women's pajama bottoms (I only noticed later the buttons on the fly were decorative as their wasn't actually a fly). But you know what? They felt fucking sexy! I love them so much! I don't know who this fucking Enid is that's also on them but she's cute too!
The Story
The story begins with "Dice Guy" from the cover robbing an armored car and describing how he's always been super lucky and everybody around him is super unlucky. So of course he went into crime instead of, I don't know, scratch-offs?
Yeah, I said "another" skirt. Go fuck yourselves.
Oh! This reminded me of a note from Richard F. Burton's footnotes in his translation of The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night! "In the East, where Common Sense, not Fashion, rules dress, men, who have a protuberance to be concealed, wear petticoats and women wear trousers." I'm glad I was reminded of one of his non-offensive notes! I could have been reminded of this one: "And, as will be seen, Persians have bequeathed to the outer world worse things than bad language, e.g. heresy and sodomy." Dude. DUDE.
Double oh! This double reminded me that recently I needed a new pair of pajama bottoms because my old pair with Superman's symbol all over it had a huge, sexy hole in the crotch. So I went to Hot Topic because who else is going to have tons and tons of various unisex pajama bottoms? Probably nobody was my immediate assumption. They were conducting a 60% off sale on their Wednesday products which happened to have pajama bottoms. Now I've never seen the show but everybody knows and loves The Addams Family (except maybe those weirdo The Munsters freaks) so I got a pair. When I put them on at home, I noticed they were definitely not unisex. They fit just differently enough to what I'm used to to realize they were women's pajama bottoms (I only noticed later the buttons on the fly were decorative as their wasn't actually a fly). But you know what? They felt fucking sexy! I love them so much! I don't know who this fucking Enid is that's also on them but she's cute too!
The Story
The story begins with "Dice Guy" from the cover robbing an armored car and describing how he's always been super lucky and everybody around him is super unlucky. So of course he went into crime instead of, I don't know, scratch-offs?
I don't get it. If his whole thing is luck, why do the dice on his chest indicate he's rolled a 9? What's so lucky about a 9?!
The guy with the dice calls himself Chancer and he's about to find out just how lucky he can get when Batman swings down from a rooftop (or zeppelin? Sometimes, it seems his bat grapple is just attached to nothing but stardust, man) to attempt to apprehend him. Chancer gets lucky and knocks Batman down. Instead of running, he doubles down on his luck to taunt Batman. This seems like a mistake because Batman gets back up and grabs Chancer. He's about to break a few of Chancer's bones for fun and/or justice when "Pinkeye" joins in the fray.
No kid reading this in 1992 understood the Biblical meaning of the name Nimrod here. They just all thought he was basically calling himself Idjit the Hunter!
Here's the pertinent Biblical passage that gave Bugs Bunny the idea to mock Elmer Fudd and call him Nimrod: "And Cush begat Nimrod: he began to be a mighty one in the earth. He was a mighty hunter before the Lord: wherefore it is said, Even as Nimrod the mighty hunter before the Lord." So you see, calling yourself Nimrod should be enough to signify that you're a great hunter. But being that the Looney Tunes fucked the meaning of the name Nimrod, turning it into the "Hey Einstein" for hunters, Nimrod here had to add "the hunter" to the end to clarify that he was a mighty hunter before the Lord (so much so that he was a mighty hunter before the Lord (fucking Bible is so repetitive!)). I get the feeling that Nimrod the Hunter might wind up having to explain all of this to his new mates when he joins The Misfits later. Or else he'll just get mocked mercilessly by the others until he kills one of them.
Also, um, Chancer? What a fucking stupid name.
Chancer uses Nimrod's distraction to get away by leaping off the edge of the multi-story building's ledge they were battling on. Batman presumes to his death.
Also, um, Chancer? What a fucking stupid name.
Chancer uses Nimrod's distraction to get away by leaping off the edge of the multi-story building's ledge they were battling on. Batman presumes to his death.
How (or why?) Chancer got up there after robbing an armored car, I have no idea. Lucky nine, I guess?
Chancer's life is saved by Catman who catches him by the ankle with a wire trap. I know what you're thinking: "Must have ripped his leg clean off!" No, no. I don't think G-forces caused by deceleration exists in comic books (or acceleration according to Flash comics when he just grabs people at super speed to get them to safety). As long as a person is stopped instantly by something other than concrete, they're gonna be okay. Plus, Chancer has the luck of the number nine on his side! Which Catman passive-aggressively comments on.
Has Gail Simone ever written a story where Catman and Catwoman fuck and afterward she has a litter of nine human babies?
Catman suggests, with the help of a full grown panther, that Chancer help him out on a small job he's doing. Once that's successfully completed, Catman offers Chancer an opportunity to join his small crew with a "scam" they've got coming up. Chancer agrees because he doesn't realize one of the members of Catman's crew is Calendar Man. I'd be too embarrassed to team up with that guy. Who bases their personality on the shittiest of Christmas gifts? Oh, I know! A guy who thinks his chest logo represents the number seven when it actually represents the number nine!
The guy in the suit on the cover of Issue #8 is, I think, a cop Batman begins working with who's investigating the armored car robbery. They begin working together and sharing information as they learn more about Chancer and Nimrod the Hunter. This cop (I don't think he's been named? Maybe he was a regular in Batman or Detective Comics in 1992) points Batman to an escaped prisoner out of Dallas that just recently came in on a wanted sheet and since they know Chancer came from Dallas, he believes it might tie in to the Nimrod thing.
The guy in the suit on the cover of Issue #8 is, I think, a cop Batman begins working with who's investigating the armored car robbery. They begin working together and sharing information as they learn more about Chancer and Nimrod the Hunter. This cop (I don't think he's been named? Maybe he was a regular in Batman or Detective Comics in 1992) points Batman to an escaped prisoner out of Dallas that just recently came in on a wanted sheet and since they know Chancer came from Dallas, he believes it might tie in to the Nimrod thing.
Hmm. I wonder if Dean Hunter has anything to do with Nimrod the Hunter? Probably going to find out Chancer's name is Chance Phillips and Catman's name is Silly Billy Fuzzybottom.
Meanwhile Calendar Man sets up some bombs or Polaroids or traps or something around the building where a charity event with the Mayor and Commissioner Gordon will be taking place on Wednesday. Obviously this is the scam mentioned by Catman since Officer Nobody mentioned the event in passing to Batman. Calendar Man obsessively quotes an old nursery rhyme about telling the fortunes of a child based on the day of the week they're born. I guess Alan Grant had to come up with something thematically interesting that he could be obsessed with other than just the names of the months or numbers no greater than 31. I wonder if he's also obsessed with pin-ups and cute kitten and puppy pictures?
Turns out even Catman's not quite sure about the whole Calendar Man deal.
Turns out even Catman's not quite sure about the whole Calendar Man deal.
Is Calendar Man's real name Janus Julius Augustus?
The final member of The Misfits is Killer Moth. A terrible name. Unless there are killer moths? I mean, probably, right? In a recent Shadow of the Bat review, I was trying to remember all of the characters who were created as mirrors to Batman. Well, here's another one! Killer Moth came up with his persona to be the Batman for criminals. He even issued a bunch of "Moth Signals" to his clients so they could shine them into the sky to get his attention. I mean, come on. That's pretty good, right? I guess he's also the reason that Barbara Gordon became Batgirl? Somehow? Oh! And he also once kidnapped Bruce Wayne to steal his identity only to discover Bruce Wayne was Batman. But then later he was shot in the head and had the part of his brain removed that housed the knowledge of Batman's secret identity so that all worked out, I guess!
I'm not sure why this panel is in the comic but I fucking love it.
Killer Moth explains the job to Chancer: they're going to kidnap three prominent Gotham figures: the Mayor, Commissioner Gordon, and Bruce Wayne!
The Ranking
According to DC's Who's Who, this plan to kidnap Bruce Wayne will be, at least, the third time Killer Moth has attempted this. Apparently not only was the part of his brain removed that let him know Bruce Wayne was Batman, some other wiring got fucked so that he'd continuously relive the moment that led to him getting shot in the head. Maybe the rest of his brain was trying to regain that which it lost? Some kind of brain-damage forced quest to return to him something lost. Sort of like a shittier Memento. Maybe Killer Moth should think about tattooing "Bruce Wayne is Batman" on his chest just over his heart.
Oh, um, as for how I liked this issue? It's continues the streak of really good fucking stories in this series. Okay, maybe "The Ugly American" was a slight miss. But that can be forgiven, right? If this story continues to be as enjoyable as this issue, I'm going to be hard pressed to understand why I stopped reading this series after Issue #9.
The Ranking
According to DC's Who's Who, this plan to kidnap Bruce Wayne will be, at least, the third time Killer Moth has attempted this. Apparently not only was the part of his brain removed that let him know Bruce Wayne was Batman, some other wiring got fucked so that he'd continuously relive the moment that led to him getting shot in the head. Maybe the rest of his brain was trying to regain that which it lost? Some kind of brain-damage forced quest to return to him something lost. Sort of like a shittier Memento. Maybe Killer Moth should think about tattooing "Bruce Wayne is Batman" on his chest just over his heart.
Oh, um, as for how I liked this issue? It's continues the streak of really good fucking stories in this series. Okay, maybe "The Ugly American" was a slight miss. But that can be forgiven, right? If this story continues to be as enjoyable as this issue, I'm going to be hard pressed to understand why I stopped reading this series after Issue #9.
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