You never want Calendar Man to be the most recognizable character on a cover.
The Cover
This cover got me asking a number of questions but the one foremost in my mind was this: Does Calendar Man change the number on his left shoulder according to the current month? Some of the other questions: "Who is the guy in the suit and why is the back of his right hand so fucked up? Tattoo? Damaged ligaments?"; "Where's Firefly's flamethrower?"; "What? That's not Firefly? Is that Sauron? Is this a Marvel crossover?"; and, "Who the fuck is Killer Moth again?" The question I didn't ask (and, in fact, never ask) that was answered by next month's cover was "Where is Robin?" Although, and I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but having a cover where Robin faces off against Catman, while not laugh out loud funny, is quietly clever. The last question I had about the cover that doesn't have anything to do with the cover is "Where are all the tatas? The Misfits have a serious 'too many testicles' problem. Like my grandfather."
The Story So Far
Killer Moth, knowing he's an absolute loser among losers in Batman's catalogue of villains, decided to team up with some other all-time great losers. Too bad Alan Grant didn't have as huge a boner for Killer Moth as Tom King did for Kite Man or else Killer Moth could have had a popular resurgence in the early '90s. Hell, maybe he did! I barely read any Batman comics and I certainly didn't give a shit about Killer Moth. I know I should have. I could have been the coolest and most indie nerd at the nerd table in the lunch room (this metaphor doesn't work so well seeing that by 1992, I was in college) by declaring Killer Moth my absolute favorite Batman villain. "Did you guysh know that Killer Mosh figured out Batman'sh identity before even The Joker?" Then some other kid who was keen on being King Nerd would be all, "*snort* Like The Joker ever even really wanted to know Batman's secret identity actually." Then I would have had to scramble to get back the power and, amid scraps of chewed tater tots, spit out, "Killer Mosh wash alsho the reashon Babsh Gordon became Batgirl!" And just to make sure everybody knew how indie and cool I was, I would use my coup de grâce: "Wedge Antillesh ish my favorite character in the Shtar Warsh shaga!"
So, um, The Misfits have decided to kidnap the Mayor, Commissioner Gordon, and Bruce Wayne. Then they'll ransom them off for ten million dollars, split the loot, and never get their asses beat by Batman. I know it doesn't sound like a great plan. But they have luck on their side: a new guy named Chancer! Although getting lucky could mean any number of things. Like, "You guys were lucky Batman only put you in the hospital instead of the morgue!" So, you know, it only goes so far, really.
The Story
Alan Grant and Tim Sale decided that this issue would be so exciting that they'd fuck with readers by beginning it with the most boring splash page in the existence of comic books.
This cover got me asking a number of questions but the one foremost in my mind was this: Does Calendar Man change the number on his left shoulder according to the current month? Some of the other questions: "Who is the guy in the suit and why is the back of his right hand so fucked up? Tattoo? Damaged ligaments?"; "Where's Firefly's flamethrower?"; "What? That's not Firefly? Is that Sauron? Is this a Marvel crossover?"; and, "Who the fuck is Killer Moth again?" The question I didn't ask (and, in fact, never ask) that was answered by next month's cover was "Where is Robin?" Although, and I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but having a cover where Robin faces off against Catman, while not laugh out loud funny, is quietly clever. The last question I had about the cover that doesn't have anything to do with the cover is "Where are all the tatas? The Misfits have a serious 'too many testicles' problem. Like my grandfather."
The Story So Far
Killer Moth, knowing he's an absolute loser among losers in Batman's catalogue of villains, decided to team up with some other all-time great losers. Too bad Alan Grant didn't have as huge a boner for Killer Moth as Tom King did for Kite Man or else Killer Moth could have had a popular resurgence in the early '90s. Hell, maybe he did! I barely read any Batman comics and I certainly didn't give a shit about Killer Moth. I know I should have. I could have been the coolest and most indie nerd at the nerd table in the lunch room (this metaphor doesn't work so well seeing that by 1992, I was in college) by declaring Killer Moth my absolute favorite Batman villain. "Did you guysh know that Killer Mosh figured out Batman'sh identity before even The Joker?" Then some other kid who was keen on being King Nerd would be all, "*snort* Like The Joker ever even really wanted to know Batman's secret identity actually." Then I would have had to scramble to get back the power and, amid scraps of chewed tater tots, spit out, "Killer Mosh wash alsho the reashon Babsh Gordon became Batgirl!" And just to make sure everybody knew how indie and cool I was, I would use my coup de grâce: "Wedge Antillesh ish my favorite character in the Shtar Warsh shaga!"
So, um, The Misfits have decided to kidnap the Mayor, Commissioner Gordon, and Bruce Wayne. Then they'll ransom them off for ten million dollars, split the loot, and never get their asses beat by Batman. I know it doesn't sound like a great plan. But they have luck on their side: a new guy named Chancer! Although getting lucky could mean any number of things. Like, "You guys were lucky Batman only put you in the hospital instead of the morgue!" So, you know, it only goes so far, really.
The Story
Alan Grant and Tim Sale decided that this issue would be so exciting that they'd fuck with readers by beginning it with the most boring splash page in the existence of comic books.
Does Gen Z even know what this is a picture of?
That wasn't me making fun of Gen Z! God forbid I should think any generation is better or worse than any other. As if I would recognize any obsolete piece of technology from before I was born! At least Gen Z has technology that still mimics the look of watches while doing about ten thousand more useful things than the one or two a watch could do (two is giving a watch credit for sometimes showing the date as well as the time). I haven't worn a watch or cared about time since I was twelve. Now I just free wheel carelessly through life. I haven't needed to know the exact time since Lost went off the air!
The first person The Misfits target is Bruce Wayne. Catman and Chancer set up some bombs last issue to cut power to Wayne Tech just when Bruce Wayne usually gets to work. The bomb goes off, the power cuts out, and the gates don't open just as Alfred tries to roll right through them. He smashes into them which would have taught him a lesson about assuming if he'd lived through the accident.
The first person The Misfits target is Bruce Wayne. Catman and Chancer set up some bombs last issue to cut power to Wayne Tech just when Bruce Wayne usually gets to work. The bomb goes off, the power cuts out, and the gates don't open just as Alfred tries to roll right through them. He smashes into them which would have taught him a lesson about assuming if he'd lived through the accident.
Don't worry. Alfred survives. As I mentioned earlier, Alan Grant just didn't have the juice of Tom King.
I have no idea what's currently going on in the main DC Continuity so I don't know if Alfred is still dead. I think I stopped reading DC Comics around the time Dick Grayson was sniped in the face. I never found out how that ended either because it seemed to never be mentioned again (at least for as long as I continued to read the comics). What boggles my mind is that DC allowed Tom King to kill Alfred but years earlier they refused to let Scott Snyder do it in "Death of the Family". I don't know if Snyder wanted to but everything in that story felt like it was leading up to The Joker killing Alfred and then serving bits of Alfred to the rest of the Bat-Family. And since that story ultimately had no repercussions or reason for existing (other than to create tensions between the kids and Batman which, ultimately, didn't even change much), Snyder must have been planning on having The Joker kill Alfred. It's the only thing that makes sense!
On a side note, why the fuck wasn't Alfred wearing his seat belt? I suppose a man irresponsible enough to raise a child who needs therapy by not giving him therapy and instead allowing him to travel the world to learn the deadliest martial arts only to return home, don a Furry Costume, and get his kicks beating the shit out of criminals probably isn't the kind of person to wear a seat belt.
Killer Moth and Chancer, using Chancer's luck and some gimmicks from Calendar Man, manage to successfully kidnap Bruce Wayne and make their escape. Killer Moth makes sure to mention how important Calendar Man's help was so that the reader might accidentally start associating him with other competent villains. Meanwhile, the other Misfits are about to kidnap the Mayor and Police Commissioner.
On a side note, why the fuck wasn't Alfred wearing his seat belt? I suppose a man irresponsible enough to raise a child who needs therapy by not giving him therapy and instead allowing him to travel the world to learn the deadliest martial arts only to return home, don a Furry Costume, and get his kicks beating the shit out of criminals probably isn't the kind of person to wear a seat belt.
Killer Moth and Chancer, using Chancer's luck and some gimmicks from Calendar Man, manage to successfully kidnap Bruce Wayne and make their escape. Killer Moth makes sure to mention how important Calendar Man's help was so that the reader might accidentally start associating him with other competent villains. Meanwhile, the other Misfits are about to kidnap the Mayor and Police Commissioner.
Classy. Kidnapping them at an AIDS Charity event. I bet even The Joker's tugging his shirt collar over that one.
Somehow, Catman and Calendar Man make kidnapping the Commissioner and the Mayor look easy. I suspect it's because nobody figured any criminal would have the gall to interrupt an AIDS Charity event. Even The Penguin would have just shown up to donate. These Misfits really are the worst criminals in Gotham! That "worst" is meant to be ambiguous!
Now that The Misfits have kidnapped three of the most important people of Gotham (one of them the most important but they don't even know it yet because Killer Moth's missing the part of his brain that remembers that fact), it's time to profit! I don't know who is going to pay the ransom for them. I guess Bruce Wayne's ward, Tim Dickstodd?
Meanwhile, Nimrod the Hunter makes crank calls while cranking his, um, crank.
Now that The Misfits have kidnapped three of the most important people of Gotham (one of them the most important but they don't even know it yet because Killer Moth's missing the part of his brain that remembers that fact), it's time to profit! I don't know who is going to pay the ransom for them. I guess Bruce Wayne's ward, Tim Dickstodd?
Meanwhile, Nimrod the Hunter makes crank calls while cranking his, um, crank.
If I'm misconstrued what's happening here, I don't want to be corrected.
I don't know why Nimrod has a photo of an egg above his bed. Maybe that's a picture of the woman Janine he's trying to get justice for by hunting down Chancer. I'd say more about what Nimrod's up to but Al and Tim haven't really laid it all out yet. Best to get to know Nimrod and what he's up to in fits and starts, like showing him using his camouflage suit or masturbating in a run down room.
Gordon, the Mayor, and Bruce Wayne are all dumped in the warehouse doubling as The Misfits headquarters. Killer Moth takes a moment to reflect on his past history with Bruce Wayne that he can't quite remember because a bullet made an omelet of his brain.
Gordon, the Mayor, and Bruce Wayne are all dumped in the warehouse doubling as The Misfits headquarters. Killer Moth takes a moment to reflect on his past history with Bruce Wayne that he can't quite remember because a bullet made an omelet of his brain.
Look at me memeing instead of being clever! It's so easy and fun!
Back at Wayne Manor, Tim Drake has arrived to teach Alfred about seat belts. Also, he might be able to figure out where The Misfits took Bruce. He is a super genius, after all. The superest! I don't think you're allowed to have a dumb or even normal intelligence sidekick in the DC Universe. Except maybe The Flash. Wally West certainly wasn't winning any MacArthur grants. I'm not being insulting to Wally. I've never won one of those either. I'm just saying DC has a bit of a problem with making their teen characters geniuses. Even Jason Todd was like a "street smarts genius"! I think. I forget. He died and I never had to think of him ever again. At least, that's what I thought. But then Judd Winick had to come around with the one joke he ever wrote ("Again!?") and "again" Jason Todd back into continuity. Jerk!
Batman doesn't clear the cookies on his computer so Tim discovers the last thing he was working on was trying to discover the identity of Nimrod and his connection to Chancer. Nimrod himself wants to find Chancer to clear his name since it was Chancer who killed the person Nimrod was sent to prison for life for killing. When the Bat Signal goes up, Nimrod and Tim both head over, Nimrod because he wants work with Batman and Tim because he knows Batman is in the clutches of the Misfits. Because Nimrod thinks he knows how to find Chancer, Tim and the cops agree to work with him. Lucius Fox has decided to pay the ransom but Tim and Nimrod are going to try to track the money to the gang to stop them and save the kidnapped. They'll need saving because even if The Misfits get the money, Killer Moth intends to let the rising tide of Gotham Bay drown them as The Misfits get away.
Oh, also, I guess that's Bruce Wayne on the cover? I was refusing to allow for that possibility since Batman's on the previous cover and they fit together like a poster. Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps it's the mayor?
The Ranking
Once Robin made an appearance, I found myself bored which is why I simply summarized the final five to six pages of the comic book. Why am I like this? Why can't I simply see Robin as another valid super hero trying to do what's right? Am I jealous of his genius status and his efforts to make the world a better place? Does he reflect back at me all the possibilities in life that I squandered? Am I the mirrored antagonist to Tim Drake?! It's becoming a stronger and stronger possibility that I simply stopped reading this series because it concentrated too much on Tim Drake for one single issue! I suppose I could ask what's wrong with me but if I really wanted an answer to that question, I'd get therapy. Instead, I write much too personal posts on the Internet about my life. A therapist would probably say, "Why did you post this on the Internet instead of sending it to your father?" And then I'd have to throw down a smoke pellet and climb out a window instead of answering.
Batman doesn't clear the cookies on his computer so Tim discovers the last thing he was working on was trying to discover the identity of Nimrod and his connection to Chancer. Nimrod himself wants to find Chancer to clear his name since it was Chancer who killed the person Nimrod was sent to prison for life for killing. When the Bat Signal goes up, Nimrod and Tim both head over, Nimrod because he wants work with Batman and Tim because he knows Batman is in the clutches of the Misfits. Because Nimrod thinks he knows how to find Chancer, Tim and the cops agree to work with him. Lucius Fox has decided to pay the ransom but Tim and Nimrod are going to try to track the money to the gang to stop them and save the kidnapped. They'll need saving because even if The Misfits get the money, Killer Moth intends to let the rising tide of Gotham Bay drown them as The Misfits get away.
Oh, also, I guess that's Bruce Wayne on the cover? I was refusing to allow for that possibility since Batman's on the previous cover and they fit together like a poster. Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps it's the mayor?
The Ranking
Once Robin made an appearance, I found myself bored which is why I simply summarized the final five to six pages of the comic book. Why am I like this? Why can't I simply see Robin as another valid super hero trying to do what's right? Am I jealous of his genius status and his efforts to make the world a better place? Does he reflect back at me all the possibilities in life that I squandered? Am I the mirrored antagonist to Tim Drake?! It's becoming a stronger and stronger possibility that I simply stopped reading this series because it concentrated too much on Tim Drake for one single issue! I suppose I could ask what's wrong with me but if I really wanted an answer to that question, I'd get therapy. Instead, I write much too personal posts on the Internet about my life. A therapist would probably say, "Why did you post this on the Internet instead of sending it to your father?" And then I'd have to throw down a smoke pellet and climb out a window instead of answering.
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