I've always loved Jericho's look. Nothing says "I'm a superhero!" less.
Judging by the cover, I think this story was based on an Alfred Hitchcock movie.
Being a swearmonger, I have no problem with any kind of cursing in any situation ever. But I know people exist who can't stand even the slightest swear. Do those people avoid talking about Alfred Hitchcock movies to avoid embarrassing themselves? What about when they say words like class, assassin, acetate, dictator, and country? What really confuses me is how people who don't swear constantly swear but they've replaced the socially unacceptable words with words of their own making. It's really the same thing! "Cheese and crackers!" is always weirdly said at the exact same moments that blasphemers would yell, "Jesus Christ!" If the words are providing the same essential cathartic outlet, has the non-swearer really improved the situation? Even the words often used to replace swear words acknowledge the replaced word in their similarity. And if the only thing I know about religion is correct (that thing where Jesus says if you thunk it, you done already sinned it), these people are all fucked. Unless swearing isn't really a sin. I suppose the only real sinful swearing is the taking the Lord's name in vain. Which means that people who won't say words like "fuck" and "shit" and "asshole" must believe those are alternate words for God. Weirdos!
I don't give a fuck about swearing because swearing doesn't make the world a worse place. Who needs decorum?! Decorum can go spindle itself in the granny basket!
Dammit. That was satisfying. I think I've just moved into the "Cheese and Crackers!" camp.
Being a swearmonger, I have no problem with any kind of cursing in any situation ever. But I know people exist who can't stand even the slightest swear. Do those people avoid talking about Alfred Hitchcock movies to avoid embarrassing themselves? What about when they say words like class, assassin, acetate, dictator, and country? What really confuses me is how people who don't swear constantly swear but they've replaced the socially unacceptable words with words of their own making. It's really the same thing! "Cheese and crackers!" is always weirdly said at the exact same moments that blasphemers would yell, "Jesus Christ!" If the words are providing the same essential cathartic outlet, has the non-swearer really improved the situation? Even the words often used to replace swear words acknowledge the replaced word in their similarity. And if the only thing I know about religion is correct (that thing where Jesus says if you thunk it, you done already sinned it), these people are all fucked. Unless swearing isn't really a sin. I suppose the only real sinful swearing is the taking the Lord's name in vain. Which means that people who won't say words like "fuck" and "shit" and "asshole" must believe those are alternate words for God. Weirdos!
I don't give a fuck about swearing because swearing doesn't make the world a worse place. Who needs decorum?! Decorum can go spindle itself in the granny basket!
Dammit. That was satisfying. I think I've just moved into the "Cheese and Crackers!" camp.
Look at that outfit! No wonder he spends the majority of his time inside other people's minds.
This issue is called "The Past is Prologue" and I just went into a profundity coma. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
How much prologue can a teenager have built up? I suppose it depends on your life experiences. Joseph had his throat slit by one of Jackal's henchmen, developed the ability to enter a person's mind and take control of their body, had a father who was the greatest mercenary in the world, and was able to grow fantastic facial hair at an early age. He's probably got some good prologue. But take another teenager like Rebecca Black and you realize sometimes there's not a whole lot of prologue. I mean, I guess she learned the order the days come in the week, how to eat cereal, and the ability to count seats in a vehicle. Not that I'm taking a shot at Rebecca Black! I was probably one of the only people to defend her when it was all the Internet rage to shit on her song "Friday." Sure, the lyrics were inane. But she was young and the song was as catchy as any hit pop song. Sometimes people are just generally assholes. I guess they needed to prove their intelligence by pointing out how they couldn't be fooled into enjoying a song with insipid lyrics. Fuck them. Rebecca Black, I'm a fan!
The story begins in Paris so obviously the scene opens on the Eiffel Tower. Sure, the characters could have been at the Louvre or the Moulin Rouge or Notre Dame or the Arc de Triomphe but how many readers would instantly realize the characters were in Paris then? Aside from the narration box saying, "You can actually feel Paris come alive at night." Which is kind of a gross sentence when the scene opens up on a huge phallus straining to fuck the sky.
Now, now! Don't be hurt that I assumed most people wouldn't recognize Paris by famous Paris landmarks other than the Eiffel Tower. I didn't mean you, of course! I meant all of the other readers! Try to remember that the main audience for this story are comic book readers and Americans. If the third circle of that Venn Diagram is "ignorant," it would subsume the other two circles.
Ha ha! Just kidding, comic book readers! Just yanking your Yankee chain, Americans! Ha ha! Good times.
How much prologue can a teenager have built up? I suppose it depends on your life experiences. Joseph had his throat slit by one of Jackal's henchmen, developed the ability to enter a person's mind and take control of their body, had a father who was the greatest mercenary in the world, and was able to grow fantastic facial hair at an early age. He's probably got some good prologue. But take another teenager like Rebecca Black and you realize sometimes there's not a whole lot of prologue. I mean, I guess she learned the order the days come in the week, how to eat cereal, and the ability to count seats in a vehicle. Not that I'm taking a shot at Rebecca Black! I was probably one of the only people to defend her when it was all the Internet rage to shit on her song "Friday." Sure, the lyrics were inane. But she was young and the song was as catchy as any hit pop song. Sometimes people are just generally assholes. I guess they needed to prove their intelligence by pointing out how they couldn't be fooled into enjoying a song with insipid lyrics. Fuck them. Rebecca Black, I'm a fan!
The story begins in Paris so obviously the scene opens on the Eiffel Tower. Sure, the characters could have been at the Louvre or the Moulin Rouge or Notre Dame or the Arc de Triomphe but how many readers would instantly realize the characters were in Paris then? Aside from the narration box saying, "You can actually feel Paris come alive at night." Which is kind of a gross sentence when the scene opens up on a huge phallus straining to fuck the sky.
Now, now! Don't be hurt that I assumed most people wouldn't recognize Paris by famous Paris landmarks other than the Eiffel Tower. I didn't mean you, of course! I meant all of the other readers! Try to remember that the main audience for this story are comic book readers and Americans. If the third circle of that Venn Diagram is "ignorant," it would subsume the other two circles.
Ha ha! Just kidding, comic book readers! Just yanking your Yankee chain, Americans! Ha ha! Good times.
This is Curt and Penny. They're, I don't know, international spies or something.
Penny's help comes in the form of Adeline Kane and her investigative agency, Searchers, Inc. But there's a dramatic love problem! Joseph (Jericho, for you know-nothings!) was in love with Penny two years ago but it ended when he thought she died. Marv Wolfman does remember Jericho is a teenager, right? I guess that's why, two years later, he's still pining over his dead girlfriend. Love seems more love-y when you're young! But sheesh, Joey! Get over it! It's not like you lost your cat!
Listening? He's been signing "Let me fuck your titties" for the last twenty minutes!
Penny likes Jericho because he doesn't speak, he apparently listens, he paints, he writes poetry, and he can grow underwear soaking facial hair. And since he can't say anything, they just go out to the garden and fuck.
Meanwhile, Penny's dad pays Adeline to fake his and his daughter's death. Adeline sees her son fucking Penny and says, "Yeah, whatever. Cash is awesome."
But that's all prologue! In the logue, Penny's father is amassing an army for some shenanigans he's getting up to. But instead of hiring a bunch of warriors, he's making the warriors all fight to the death so that he's only left with a few warriors who are the best warriors from dozens! Or the luckiest, maybe. I don't know. I'd rather have a bigger army with a bunch of guys ready to fight to the death than a small army of guys cocky from fighting other guys to the death and somehow surviving. But then, I've never considered myself arch-villain material.
Penny's father tells her to get to Searchers, Inc. to help find Curt. He's busy watching dozens of perfectly good soldiers die for his cause. She has a bit of unbelievable trouble on the way to the airport that I don't want to talk about. Seriously, you don't want me to talk about it either. Especially since I know nothing about how cars work so even though I feel like a car wouldn't suddenly go out of control if a person in the back seat managed to aim at and hit the gas line while shooting through the floor, I can't be sure and I'm not willing to watch any YouTube videos on the subject. Plus after she shoots the gas line, the driver says, "You're crazy! We'll both die!" as the car heads for a cliff which he drives right over. Because somehow shooting the gas line means the brakes and the steering suddenly don't work? I suppose it's possible since, as I said, I know nothing about cars! She shoots the lock on the back door to get out but the driver can't open his door because she shot the gas line. Man, I'm glad I know how to completely disable a car and trap the driver in it now! I'd better memorize where this deus ex gaslina sits in every make and model of car! I'll never be kidnapped again!
Back in the prologue, Penny learns that Joey can enter people's minds and take over their body's actions. But the person he controls can still speak because, lacking vocal cords or something, he can't control their vocal cords. Penny gets super excited thinking about all of the sex stuff they could do with that power. Or, I guess, the one sex thing where he takes over her body and jerks her off while she moans loudly.
Meanwhile, Penny's dad pays Adeline to fake his and his daughter's death. Adeline sees her son fucking Penny and says, "Yeah, whatever. Cash is awesome."
But that's all prologue! In the logue, Penny's father is amassing an army for some shenanigans he's getting up to. But instead of hiring a bunch of warriors, he's making the warriors all fight to the death so that he's only left with a few warriors who are the best warriors from dozens! Or the luckiest, maybe. I don't know. I'd rather have a bigger army with a bunch of guys ready to fight to the death than a small army of guys cocky from fighting other guys to the death and somehow surviving. But then, I've never considered myself arch-villain material.
Penny's father tells her to get to Searchers, Inc. to help find Curt. He's busy watching dozens of perfectly good soldiers die for his cause. She has a bit of unbelievable trouble on the way to the airport that I don't want to talk about. Seriously, you don't want me to talk about it either. Especially since I know nothing about how cars work so even though I feel like a car wouldn't suddenly go out of control if a person in the back seat managed to aim at and hit the gas line while shooting through the floor, I can't be sure and I'm not willing to watch any YouTube videos on the subject. Plus after she shoots the gas line, the driver says, "You're crazy! We'll both die!" as the car heads for a cliff which he drives right over. Because somehow shooting the gas line means the brakes and the steering suddenly don't work? I suppose it's possible since, as I said, I know nothing about cars! She shoots the lock on the back door to get out but the driver can't open his door because she shot the gas line. Man, I'm glad I know how to completely disable a car and trap the driver in it now! I'd better memorize where this deus ex gaslina sits in every make and model of car! I'll never be kidnapped again!
Back in the prologue, Penny learns that Joey can enter people's minds and take over their body's actions. But the person he controls can still speak because, lacking vocal cords or something, he can't control their vocal cords. Penny gets super excited thinking about all of the sex stuff they could do with that power. Or, I guess, the one sex thing where he takes over her body and jerks her off while she moans loudly.
Does this sign mean "Mom, I fucked my girlfriend's tits!"?
On the night Adeline intends to fake Penny and her father's deaths, Joey proposes to Penelope. Adeline sees him propose and thinks, "Yeah, whatever. Cash is awesome." Adeline blows up Penny's father's boat with Penny and her father on it just as she and Joey leave. I guess that was to really twist the knife in the son she apparently hates. Or at least doesn't love as much as money?
So that's the prologue and the past! Moving on to the logue and the present, Joey still mourns for his lover. But he's going to be in for a big surprise when she shows up alive at the door to Searchers, Inc. Especially since she didn't think he died and has been mourning him for two years. No, she knew he was alive and she was off getting finger-banged by Curt.
So that's the prologue and the past! Moving on to the logue and the present, Joey still mourns for his lover. But he's going to be in for a big surprise when she shows up alive at the door to Searchers, Inc. Especially since she didn't think he died and has been mourning him for two years. No, she knew he was alive and she was off getting finger-banged by Curt.
Penny is probably thinking, "Curt who?!"
Teen Titans Spotlight #3: Jericho Rating: C. Oh, the teenage sex drama! The longing! The pining! The fake deaths! The strange fucking way gas lines work! This is more like the Marv Wolfman I'm used to!
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