Justice League #51

Who thought the upside down Star Trek chevron was anything but disturbing on Robin's crotch?

The Review!
This issue was a prologue for Titans Rebirth #1. But more than that, it was about Robin's first day as a big boy super hero. He learns that he's useful even though he doesn't have any powers and he learns that everybody is jealous of him because he's close to Batman. They're all, "What kind of underwear does he wear? Does he ever watch television? Does he read the funnies? Does he ever smile? What's his net worth? Did he buy you from your parents?" Nobody really seems concerned that Batman has brought a kid into a dangerous situation, either because they trust Batman or they're afraid to say anything that might upset him. So instead Robin gets treated like an equal and told he did a good job and made to feel included. That's probably why Dick became such a great hero, because of his reception from the others. By the time Jason Todd came along, the novelty was gone and nobody really gave a shit. But after he died, everybody felt bad so they were much kinder to Tim Drake which helped make him successful. Damian they were all just afraid of.

The Commentary!
I don't know what's going on here. Why is there an Issue #51 of Justice League post-Rebirth? Was Justice League's sales numbers strong enough to keep it from reverting to Afterbirth Numbering? I suppose it's just limping its way to Issue #52.

Judging by the way this issue begins, it seems it still has some story to tell about the ties between The New 52 and Rebirth. Apparently five years ago when the Justice League supposedly first met each other to battle Darkseid, some other dimensional pervert was watching. But that's just the prologue because the actual story takes place six months later when Batman introduces everybody to his new partner, Robin! Everybody makes a few jokes about Batman hiring a child sidekick. Isn't that irresponsible of them? Shouldn't they table the jokes and immediately throw together an intervention. Aquaman comes the closest to trying to figure out what the fuck Batman is thinking when he asks Batman if it's his son. Of coruse any answer other than "no" comes with a whole lot of questions but luckily for Batman, Hal and Barry begin joking about it. Don't any of them realize that they're all going to be responsible if they put this kid in harm's way and get him killed? Or will they all just shrug and say, "He knew what he was getting into. He died a hero"?

The Justice League has met on the satellite to discuss some strange phenomena happening across the world.

What the hell did Constantine and Jordan get up to? Were horse tranquilizers involved?

The worst of the strange phenomena appeared in Metropolis: gigantic metal dogs of war. I'm sure Robin will be a big help in this one.

Meanwhile, the pervert from another Earth continues to drool over the succulent heroes.

While the heroes battle the war dogs, Mammoth arrives on the scene. So if Mammoth is here and Dan Abnett is writing this, does that mean the ultra-dimensional critter is the spider-thing that Mister Twister was trying to summon to Earth? Is that thing still going to be in play here?

Robin notices Brainiac watching the battle. Unless it's some other green guy just hanging out in Metropolis. Usually if it's a green guy and in Metropolis, it's either Brainiac or Ambush Bug. And this guy definitely isn't Ambush Bug.

Robin and the others ponder what's going on and they come up with a theory about all the strange phenomena and the villains in Metropolis having been transported from somewhere Cyborg calls The Bleeed. Like, you know, The Bleed! You know!

What's with all of the Rebirth Bad Guys watching everything on television? Is the new DC Universe going to be a long-winded statement about audiences and how we're the new bad guys?!

Wonder Woman and the Coluan who isn't Brainiac but a scientist named Bron Wox stop battling each other and begin figuring things out. The fabric of time and space was broken by the battle with Darkseid six months previous to this battle. And now things are leaking throuhg, Bron Wox being one of them. But he might be able to help because he's from a planet of really smart people.

Cyborg, being a living, breathing deus ex machina, says some techno-bullshit, beeps, buzzes, and saves the day. Yay!

Meanwhile the hungry watcher is all, "I guess I'll wait to invade Earth Prime. I didn't feel like invading today anyway. Maybe later I'll get all up inside this Robin's head and bring it all down that way." And that's when the story ends to be continued in Titans Rebirth #1. Which I should read next!