Thursday, September 29, 2016

Batman #7

Shouldn't the title of this crossover be "Dark Night of the Monster Men"?!

The Review!
The Monster Men have arrived in Gotham and it's just as whatever as I knew it would be! It's full of this and loaded with tons of that! It probably needed some kind of tagline like "If you thought Batman fought monsters before, wait until you get a load of 'Night of the Monster Men'!" Or maybe, "'Night of the Monster Men' will have you thinking, 'Gee whiz! I'm glad it's not Monster Women!" How about, "I bet you couldn't wait to read the story where Batman teams up with the Suicide Squad, right? Well you have no choice but to! Because this week, it's 'Night of the Monster Men'!"

The premise is that Hugo Strange has turned a bunch of corpses into monsters. Those monsters are now attacking Gotham on the night a major hurricane is supposed to sweep in. Since Red Robin has just died, Batman declares that nobody else is allowed to die. But he made that declaration before he knew the city wasn't just trying to survive a hurricane. Now they've got the Monster Men to deal with too! The silver lining on the hurricane is that the Monster Men were created from corpses. That means Batman can kill them because killing a reanimated corpse isn't actually killing. So I probably shouldn't say he's "killing" them. He's just, um, "putting them back to rest."

Nightwing has come to town to help like a big idiot so now his comic book is caught up in the Monster Men crossover too! What a fool! Too bad Red Robin is dead because he probably could name all of the monsters they're going to have to battle. He seemed like a huge nerd. But I can also name them! Don't try to transitive property those previous two sentences, jerko! The first monster Batman kills is a cyclops. It's from that one that he discovers Hugo Strange is behind the Monster Men. But the next monster only attacks on the last page so Nightwing will probably have to defeat it in his comic book. It's a griffon. Or just a dragon. Maybe a Bat Dragon? Yeah! That's probably what it is. A Bat Dragon!

Steve Orlando and Tom King are behind this story so it must have some depth to it, right? It's not just about fighting monsters in Gotham, right? Maybe the hurricane is a metaphor for all of Batman's tears over Tim's death. And the Monster Men are representative of what Batman could become if he lets his grief get the better of him. Or maybe this is all just a way to get the heroes back into action without any kind of mourning story since we just had the story about Gotham Girl's mourning. Plus Tim got his wake in Teen Titans. Which is weird since it was Rebirth Tim Drake who died and The New 52 Titans who mourned him. It's as if the Rebirth world is just The New 52 rebranded so that all of the angry people who hated The New 52 could begin reading DC again without losing any face. Everybody knows it's still The New 52 universe but we're all pretending that it's different somehow. I mean, Wally West is back! That's got to count for something for all the jerks who liked him for some reason.

The Ranking!
+0! It's just this comic book story, you know? Nothing special and nothing terrible. Hopefully the rest of the chapters will make it stand out.

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