The Commentary!
• Who would have thought that the Hanna-Barbera comic books would be the cutting edge comic book commenting on our modern times? The Young Animal line is going to have to really step up their game if it wants to be considered the thinking person's comic book line. Wacky Raceland is over there commenting on the important aspects in our journey through life. The Flintstones are commenting on the ridiculousness of our modern way of living and how we believe much of that idiocy is just the way things are, shrugging off any belief we can change it and just struggling through the role others have given us. Scooby Apocalypse is commenting on how fighting for survival at the end of the world in a short skirt doesn't provide as many on-panel upskirt shots as a reader might expect. And Future Quest is commenting on how wrong it is for a boy and his boy-servant to love a dog so intimately. I think. I've only read one issue of that months ago, so I might not have a clear grasp on what is going on.
• I suppose the Hanna-Barbera comics are aimed at the older generations who watched them in their youth and who are now having midlife crises which the questions being raised in the comic books are only intensifying. Jerks. But the Young Animal imprint will probably be aimed at a much younger generation who still think they're immortal and think the height of humor is when somebody responds to something totally serious with "deez nuts!"
• This issue begins with Fred discovering that his neighbors, the Rubbles, are Promists. That's the opposite of Morpists! Unless Stsiprom is the opposite of Morpists? No, no! You're distracting me with pedantic puzzles, brain. Just let me get to my point about Barney and Betty having a television in their rock house that's apparently wired with rock wires! I don't think they're the caveman equivalent of Satanists because they have a magic television that somehow works without a bunch of bird slaves flying about and making pictures with their beaks in slate at 24 slate pictures per second! I mean he must be a Satanist due to his connections. How did Barney and Betty get their hands on a flat screen, wall-mounted television set in time for the first ever television broadcast?! I think Barney belongs to a more Masonic Lodge than the Water Buffaloes!
• Who would have thought that the Hanna-Barbera comic books would be the cutting edge comic book commenting on our modern times? The Young Animal line is going to have to really step up their game if it wants to be considered the thinking person's comic book line. Wacky Raceland is over there commenting on the important aspects in our journey through life. The Flintstones are commenting on the ridiculousness of our modern way of living and how we believe much of that idiocy is just the way things are, shrugging off any belief we can change it and just struggling through the role others have given us. Scooby Apocalypse is commenting on how fighting for survival at the end of the world in a short skirt doesn't provide as many on-panel upskirt shots as a reader might expect. And Future Quest is commenting on how wrong it is for a boy and his boy-servant to love a dog so intimately. I think. I've only read one issue of that months ago, so I might not have a clear grasp on what is going on.
• I suppose the Hanna-Barbera comics are aimed at the older generations who watched them in their youth and who are now having midlife crises which the questions being raised in the comic books are only intensifying. Jerks. But the Young Animal imprint will probably be aimed at a much younger generation who still think they're immortal and think the height of humor is when somebody responds to something totally serious with "deez nuts!"
• This issue begins with Fred discovering that his neighbors, the Rubbles, are Promists. That's the opposite of Morpists! Unless Stsiprom is the opposite of Morpists? No, no! You're distracting me with pedantic puzzles, brain. Just let me get to my point about Barney and Betty having a television in their rock house that's apparently wired with rock wires! I don't think they're the caveman equivalent of Satanists because they have a magic television that somehow works without a bunch of bird slaves flying about and making pictures with their beaks in slate at 24 slate pictures per second! I mean he must be a Satanist due to his connections. How did Barney and Betty get their hands on a flat screen, wall-mounted television set in time for the first ever television broadcast?! I think Barney belongs to a more Masonic Lodge than the Water Buffaloes!
Oh! They've got an original Wilma hanging in on the wall!
• Mark Russell had better not be gearing up to make some kind of anti-television point! That's worse than insulting my mom! Don't fucking attack the person and/or object who raised me!
• The television explains how there is "crap" to buy and that everybody is buying that "crap". Well, if that's as tough on television as Russell is going to get--it's a tool to get people to buy useless garbage--I can deal with it! I mean, he also sort of takes a shot at news programs and the media but I do that every chance I get, so I'm all aboard on that one. I'm just glad he didn't denigrate the art of television! Unless Steve Pugh did that by drawing the scene with Wilma's art off to the side while everybody was fixated on the television. I think that was a statement of some kind!
• I don't like having to figure out what things mean. I just like pointing at stuff and saying, "I saw that! Did you see that? Totally saw that. Means something, probably."
• I'm really enjoying Steve Pugh's different people and their facial expressions. He's drawing a lot of characters in this comic book and they all pop with their own little mini-personalities.
• Due to the power of advertising, Fred takes Wilma and Pebbles to the Bedrock Mall to buy some crap. And probably a television of his own so he can see more violent images reported as news!
• The television explains how there is "crap" to buy and that everybody is buying that "crap". Well, if that's as tough on television as Russell is going to get--it's a tool to get people to buy useless garbage--I can deal with it! I mean, he also sort of takes a shot at news programs and the media but I do that every chance I get, so I'm all aboard on that one. I'm just glad he didn't denigrate the art of television! Unless Steve Pugh did that by drawing the scene with Wilma's art off to the side while everybody was fixated on the television. I think that was a statement of some kind!
• I don't like having to figure out what things mean. I just like pointing at stuff and saying, "I saw that! Did you see that? Totally saw that. Means something, probably."
• I'm really enjoying Steve Pugh's different people and their facial expressions. He's drawing a lot of characters in this comic book and they all pop with their own little mini-personalities.
• Due to the power of advertising, Fred takes Wilma and Pebbles to the Bedrock Mall to buy some crap. And probably a television of his own so he can see more violent images reported as news!
I want one of these! I wonder if they have any Raccoon Garbage Disposals? Or Kitten Cuisinarts?
• Apparently "Wammath Bammath Thank You Mammoth" is where people buy their general hose devices for washing cars and getting water to the dishwasher because Wilma buys a dishwasher at the mall and it's an octopus. Basically the Flintstones need to hire a full time appliance to feed and care for all of the other appliances. Would that be a monkey? Could a monkey do all of that?
• After the television watching and the shopping and the yard work, the Flintstones go to church. See? Church is just another useless activity in an endless list of activities and chores to pass the time until death.
• The church is called The First Church of Animism and the Morp they all worship is a bird. Hmm. Is that why so many appliances are birds? Because they're Morp's gift to his people? But Morp is a special bird! It's the bird that led them to warmer lands in colder season! It's the bird that led them to water! It's the bird that...well, that's actually all Morp did for them. Two things! Although, that's two more things than God ever did for anybody!
• Morp has been turned into a turntable so now Morp's voice is simply the voice of anybody who knows how to record to vinyl. I guess that's the end of that religion!
• With the sudden influx in Joneses to keep up with, Fred finds himself in a prehistoric pickle. That's clever because it does that thing where the two words begin with the same letter. You know? I don't want to say the word because it might be offensive to people who mishear things. Oh, but I guess I can type it! Alliteration! I just don't want people hearing me say that and thinking I said, "A Little Asian."
• After the television watching and the shopping and the yard work, the Flintstones go to church. See? Church is just another useless activity in an endless list of activities and chores to pass the time until death.
• The church is called The First Church of Animism and the Morp they all worship is a bird. Hmm. Is that why so many appliances are birds? Because they're Morp's gift to his people? But Morp is a special bird! It's the bird that led them to warmer lands in colder season! It's the bird that led them to water! It's the bird that...well, that's actually all Morp did for them. Two things! Although, that's two more things than God ever did for anybody!
• Morp has been turned into a turntable so now Morp's voice is simply the voice of anybody who knows how to record to vinyl. I guess that's the end of that religion!
• With the sudden influx in Joneses to keep up with, Fred finds himself in a prehistoric pickle. That's clever because it does that thing where the two words begin with the same letter. You know? I don't want to say the word because it might be offensive to people who mishear things. Oh, but I guess I can type it! Alliteration! I just don't want people hearing me say that and thinking I said, "A Little Asian."
Uh-oh! The first Multi-level Marketing scheme!
• While Fred starts his new sitcom moonlighting job, the First Church of Animism reforms because Morp's debut album wasn't too popular.
Ha! Nice dig at the Unitarians!
• After church, Fred goes to return a garbage disposal. Probably because it isn't a raccoon! It's a stupid lizard thing! He also mentions that he needs food for the appliances. See? He needs an appliance to do that job for him.
• While at the Bone Despot, Wilma discovers Peaches is just a vacuum cleaner. This is another one of those statements! I just want everybody to know that I'm not saying this! This is absolutely what this comic book has just declared: God sucks.
• Due to every single animal the Church of Animism can think of to be their god already being used as a piece of crap to improve the lives of the people of Bedrock, they decide to go with the invisible God who can't be seen or heard or easily argued out of existence. It really is difficult to win an argument where somebody says, "Prove my God doesn't exist!" And then you say, "Look around you? Do you see your God? Doesn't exist!" And then they say, "Just because you can't see God or hear God or feel God or touch God or smell God or see any actual non-made-up evidence that God doesn't exist, doesn't mean that God doesn't exist!" Then you say, "Well then anything I can think of exists and you can't prove me wrong!" Then the other person says, "Stop being ridiculous." And then you lose!
• Fred is having difficulty selling his vitamins door-to-door. They're all the difficulties you would expect him to have in a sitcom, like interrupting people at dinner and being chased off of the property by Tyrannosaurs. But Barney is doing well because he's using his absurdly strong child to lie to his customers about the vitamins capabilities.
• Fred learns another lesson from Wilma at the end of this issue because she knows lots of happy bullshit that makes life sound better than it actually is. This time, she points out that people don't need things. What people desperately need is love and recognition and attention and compliments from other people. So get rid of all the stuff and just find some poor sap who desperately needs you more than you actually need them. That'll make you feel better! Unless it just makes you feel guilty that you don't seem to love them anywhere close to how much they love you. I guess you'll just have to figure out what makes you the least miserable!
• While returning a bunch of appliances, Fred picks up Dino because Dino doesn't do shit. I mean, Dino doesn't have a use for the household! What Dino does provide is a never-ending source of love and affection at a cost of practically zero! You don't even have to feel guilty about not really loving your dinosaur dog that much because it doesn't give a fuck. It just loves loving you!
The Review!
I think I already reviewed this in the opening bullet point. It's a fun comic book and I like the way it's put together in short little scenes that all end with a joke or a commentary on something. And then it's all tied up like a shitty television sitcom where Fred learns a lesson from his loving mate! Actually, I could do without the lesson. I'm not reading The Flintstones for insight! I'm reading them to see Betty in a bikini! When is that going to happen?!
Ranking: +3!
• While at the Bone Despot, Wilma discovers Peaches is just a vacuum cleaner. This is another one of those statements! I just want everybody to know that I'm not saying this! This is absolutely what this comic book has just declared: God sucks.
• Due to every single animal the Church of Animism can think of to be their god already being used as a piece of crap to improve the lives of the people of Bedrock, they decide to go with the invisible God who can't be seen or heard or easily argued out of existence. It really is difficult to win an argument where somebody says, "Prove my God doesn't exist!" And then you say, "Look around you? Do you see your God? Doesn't exist!" And then they say, "Just because you can't see God or hear God or feel God or touch God or smell God or see any actual non-made-up evidence that God doesn't exist, doesn't mean that God doesn't exist!" Then you say, "Well then anything I can think of exists and you can't prove me wrong!" Then the other person says, "Stop being ridiculous." And then you lose!
• Fred is having difficulty selling his vitamins door-to-door. They're all the difficulties you would expect him to have in a sitcom, like interrupting people at dinner and being chased off of the property by Tyrannosaurs. But Barney is doing well because he's using his absurdly strong child to lie to his customers about the vitamins capabilities.
• Fred learns another lesson from Wilma at the end of this issue because she knows lots of happy bullshit that makes life sound better than it actually is. This time, she points out that people don't need things. What people desperately need is love and recognition and attention and compliments from other people. So get rid of all the stuff and just find some poor sap who desperately needs you more than you actually need them. That'll make you feel better! Unless it just makes you feel guilty that you don't seem to love them anywhere close to how much they love you. I guess you'll just have to figure out what makes you the least miserable!
• While returning a bunch of appliances, Fred picks up Dino because Dino doesn't do shit. I mean, Dino doesn't have a use for the household! What Dino does provide is a never-ending source of love and affection at a cost of practically zero! You don't even have to feel guilty about not really loving your dinosaur dog that much because it doesn't give a fuck. It just loves loving you!
The Review!
I think I already reviewed this in the opening bullet point. It's a fun comic book and I like the way it's put together in short little scenes that all end with a joke or a commentary on something. And then it's all tied up like a shitty television sitcom where Fred learns a lesson from his loving mate! Actually, I could do without the lesson. I'm not reading The Flintstones for insight! I'm reading them to see Betty in a bikini! When is that going to happen?!
Ranking: +3!
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