Monday, April 4, 2016

Aquaman #50

I think it's more important to proclaim that I liked this movie than that I support Bernie Sanders.

Rating: This issue had a whole lot more misses than hits throughout. But that mostly had to do with the Aquaman part of the story where he battled a new foe named Dead Water. FBI Agents Irving and Ajar were a highlight. Weren't they also in Resurrection Man? As bad guys! I mean girls! I mean ladies? Um, anyway, the part of this issue which really shone was Mera giving the press conference. It's nice to see her defending Aquaman and Atlantis in a more lighthearted, joyful, charitable way. Acting as a diplomat looks good on her. Plus if anybody gets out of line, she can kick their asses. That would look good on her too. Hell, everything looks good on Mera! You know, now that Aquaman has had 50 issues, and since this book is really about Arthur and Mera, maybe the next 50 issues can be called Aquawoman?

• The only thing I really remember about Issue #49 was that Mera changed her costume so she'd look less like a Xebel Princess and more like an Aquaman fan at Comic-con.

• I didn't pay attention to the names on the cover so imagine my surprise when I looked at the first page, had a mini-stroke, vomited down the front of my shirt, fell out of my chair, twitched for maybe five minutes, and groaned, "Booooooooooooooth."

• This issue begins with the victim of a shark attack found on top of a skyscraper. As expected, lots of Jaws quotes get floated about. But one of the FBI agents makes sure to act annoyed by them because nobody takes shark attacks seriously anymore. It's just a bunch of jerks one-upping each other with Jaws quotes!

• The credits label Brett Booth as the "Guest Penciller". That's a relief!

• Brett Booth's art has gone a long way to put me off Dan Abnett's writing. I was truly appreciative of the changes he was making last issue, wasn't I? Now I can't get through a panel without rolling my eyes. Not to mention all the clean shirts I'm going through from all the vomiting caused by the art.

• Aquaman and Mera's new diplomatic outreach program to the surface world is going to have to wait while Aquaman solves the Land Shark murder for the FBI.

• Spindrift Station, the Atlantean Embassy on land, looks like a picked scab.

• Can somebody send Brett Booth a note that says "Bigger eyes; shorter legs"?

Either Aquaman doesn't know what "infinitesimally" means or I'm completely misunderstanding his statement. Bonus Feature: long legs!

• Aquaman investigates the scene of the last murder when he's attacked by a sea serpent which appears out of nowhere.

• Hey! Guess what happens because a Land Shark begins attacking everybody and the media labelled it an "Atlantean Monster"?! The populace turns on Aquaman and the Atlanteans! Oh no! Just when Aquaman was trying to build bridges!

• I've seen less heavy handed stories about prejudice in Church of Latter Day Saints commercials or Department of Health, Education, and Welfare Public Service Announcements.

• The monster, Dead Water, teleports Aquaman back to where it came from. It's an underwater place. But not typical underwater! This is a different variant of water! It's an Other Water! One of the "infinitesimal" variants of water! I know that doesn't make any sense but it's all I have to work with!

• Aquaman defeats Dead Water but not by killing him because Dead Water is just a human victim of the Other Water.

• Aquaman takes him to Spindrift Station to imprison him. But who will imprison Aquaman when the Other Water turns him into a monster?!

• The issue ends with Mera presenting herself as the liaison between the land and the sea. And she's really good at it because she's the best Aquaperson in the DC You.

1 comment:

  1. This storyline is not as bad as the last one, but issue #49 was boring as hell, but this issue has dumb action, cheesy scenes and annoying characters.

    I guess Dan Abnett somehow thought he was being original or different by simply making Mera look like a generic female counterpart to Aquaman... because fuck uniqueness! Her reasons for doing so made no sense, it came across as idiotic... she wasn't to be taken seriously... really Abnett, really????

    I can't remember which issue in New 52, but at one point a police officer called her "Aquawoman" and she corrected him by saying that wasn't her name... well, dressing up as him won't help with that Mera... maybe when she finds out that he slept with Siren, Mera will take off that outfit and dump his ass!