Friday, June 7, 2013

Batwing #21

I'm genuinely surprised that this comic made it to Issue #21.

Lord Lion-Mane is so much cooler than Batwing that I'm rooting for the bad guy to win this battle. Is Batwing really a popular character or is this comic book just getting by on its connections to Batman and Batman, Incorporated? It's not even the original Batwing anymore! At least the original Batwing was from Africa. Now we've got a spoiled rich American genius corporate tool running around Africa trying to solve their problems. It feels a bit imperialistic to me. And arrogant. And pretentious. You know, just the type of thing Bruce Wayne is known for.

Last issue, Batwing beat up all of Lord Lion-Mane's wives (both the human ones and the tiger ones, although the human ones weren't going to be put down later. I don't think). Lord Lion-Mane was pretty upset for some reason, so he decided to eat Batwing. Lord Lion-Mane actually looks pretty cool.

There should be more ridiculous characters like this.

Batwing and Lord Lion-Mane discuss politics and religion for a few pages before Batwing wins the debate by running him over with the Batwingmobile. Batman congratulates him and tells him to come home.

Just another victory for Batman and Justice Bruce Wayne and huge profits!

So Batwing isn't setting up house in Africa? I hope he travels the world like he told his father he was going to do. And while traveling the world, he'll team up with Batmen from every other country! And then the name of the comic book will change to The Fairly Brave and the Somewhat Bold.

Back in Gotham City, Lucas Fox battles the super villain Zena. He loses that fight and learns that he's not going to get any more no sex from her. He's also not going to get any sex from her which might have been inferred from that last statement. She thinks he's an immature asshole and not worth dating. So Lucas learns what Bruce and Dick already know. To outward eyes, being a super hero with a secret identity looks an awful lot like an immature slacker. Remember that ladies! That bum you dumped because he never called and always seemed to be sleeping in until 3:00 PM could have been fighting crime all night! Give him a chance!

Female super heroes don't have this problem because men are shallow assholes when it comes to dating and are only interested in their boob windows.

Through sheer Bat-Determination and a saliva activating muscle display, Batwing gets a second wind and defeats his foe!

Meanwhile Lord Lion-Mane and his captors are flying to whatever country has a justice system capable of convicting a half-man, half-lion God. But Lord Lion-Mane has a thigh loosening muscle display and sheer Lion Grit, so he also defeats his foes! He also has Lady Termite Queen and her allies, The Termite People, on his side. Or not on his side, I guess. They seem to have hijacked the plane merely to kill Lord Lion-Mane. But that doesn't go so well since the lead Termite makes the most common error in comics and movies: he decides to threaten somebody with a gun at point blank range.

Hey dumb dumb! You do know how guns work, right? They fire a projectile and can kill from range. How many stupid assholes get disarmed like this every year in poorly plotted movies and comic books? Also, I'm pretty sure that entire panel was merely a pun on "disarmed."

Lord Lion-Mane jumps from the plane to go kill Batwing. Or splatter against the ground. I suppose as a half-man, half-lion God, he knows his limits. How is Batwing supposed to defeat a creature that can survive falling out of an airplane?

Back in Gotham, Lucas decides to have dinner with his judgmental family full of judging judges and jerky jerks.

I think I found the new Robin!

And then Lucius Fox's house is surrounded by Termite Men! Boy, Batman is going to be in so much trouble if Lucius gets wind of this.

Batwing #21 Rating: No change. Is the next issue going to be a big slapstick battle between Lucas and the Termite Men as Lucius wanders around the house bitching about how lazy his son is and never realizing his son is saving everyone's lives? Also, Lucas's niece will probably realize what's going on and become the Penny to Batwing's Inspector Gadget. Maybe she'll become his gadget guy and create a bunch of cute Hello Kitty themed weapons.

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