Sunday, March 10, 2013

Worlds' Finest #10

Do I have to start dealing with the reality of Damian's death now?

After Holt Industries sent a bunch of mercenaries to steal back the technology that Power Girl stole from them, Power Girl goes on a rampage destroying a bunch of Holt Industry labs, factories, and research facilities to get even with them for trying to rob her after she robbed them. It all makes sense if you're an arrogant asshole.

Power Girl is like the guy who bumps into another guy on purpose in the hopes that the other guy says something so the first guy feels justified in busting the second guy in the chops. Although she's more like somebody who stole something from someone and then when they try to get their property back, she sues them for harassment on Judge Judy.

Power Girl is trying to make the devastation look like natural disasters. So she somehow creates a lightning storm (or lightening storm for anyone that has learned to spell from the internet) to destroy (or destory) one building and then (or than) she completely goes rogue (or rouge) and loses (or looses) control. Power Girl decides she'll demolish the next building with an earthquake. But that causes a few other minor problems.

To be fair, who would think an earthquake would be such a big problem?

The Huntress decides to take the stealthy approach and breaks into Holt's Los Angeles Headquarters home where he had his main office before he disappeared. His office is still as he left it and it's still guarded by his balls.

After she grabs his balls, she checks under his kimono but doesn't find anything else.

It seems odd that Michael Holt would use Mister Terrific's T-Balls as home security. That would be like Bruce Wayne chucking Batarangs at burglars or Clark Kent punching the head off of an attacker. Why do these fucking heroes care about secret identities when they do everything in their power to expose themselves? And nothing says "exposing yourself" like showing a thief your balls! Sorry. I already made a Michael Holt's balls joke. I should try to raise my standards on this blog.

And then Power Girl calls The Huntress up to tell her that Grant Morrison fucked up their future story plans with Damian. Time to go visit the cemetery (or cemetary (or sematary))!

Karen leaves Helena to mourn alone. Well, to mourn without Power Girl around. You're never alone when you're in Gotham and you're a strange person wearing a strange uniform and you're kneeling over the Batman's son's grave! What I'm trying to say is Batman shows up! But The Huntress is not ready to meet her Second Daddy, so she whistles for a quick rescue from Power Girl.

Now Batman is going to think Damian was dating college women.

While the police investigate the break-in at Holt's house, Aleeka (Holt's assistant with the super smart son that Mr. Terrific was totally jealous of) shows up to tell them to get the fuck out. But they don't accept her authority. They'll only listen to Robot Michael Holt so it's a good thing he shows up to tell them they're not needed. I wonder if Robot Michael Holt is the third smartest robot in the world?

While Power Girl and The Huntress fly home from Gotham, The Huntress decides to ask Power Girl a question.

See, Michael Holt? Your fucking security sold you out. Third smartest person in the world my ass.

Worlds' Finest #10 Rating: No change. Everything in this comic is still status quo. Nothing to see here. Either you like it or you don't. Either you're right or you're wrong. Either you love freedom or you hate America or any of those other dozens and dozens of free countries that don't go around measuring the size of their freedom dong. Either you love kittens or you're a serial cow rapist. You might be thinking, "Hey! I don't love kittens nor do I rape cows serially! There must be other choices!" Nope. You're wrong. These are all either/or statements. How else does the world function if it isn't programmed with either/or statements? And the way they work is if the first statement is false then the second statement must be true. So get to loving kittens, you bovine butt burglar!

Against my better judgment, I'm going to read Channel 52 and be inundated with spoilers! That's how much I love Ambush Bug! I'll even read him when he's just a shill for DC spoiling the plots of future comic books to trump up sales. Here's some non-spoilery panels from Channel 52.

Yes, I write in my fucking comic books.

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