Thursday, March 28, 2013

Legion of Super-heroes #18

How's your Level 12 Intelligence going to get you out of this mess, hunh?

The only thing you need to remember about last issue was how Sun Boy was eaten by aliens.

Oh, I guess The Fatal Five were up to no good and caused a massive power outage across the entire universe. That seems to be an issue back on Earth at Legion Headquarters. A huge crowd mob has assembled outside Legion HQ to blame the Legionnaires for the problem. They threaten them. They throw rocks at them. They act really surly! But Harmonia tries to talk them down. Almost hit by a rock? No problem! She remains calm and assures them Legion is on the job. But when a Futurecast Blogger begins asking probing questions about Brainiac's involvement in this disaster?

"No more questions!"

The Legion know who the truly dangerous citizens are! They aren't the ones that resort to violence. They're the ones that begin asking questions. And questions can only lead to answers! And answers are, well, answers are pretty good, actually. Unless the answers portray you in a bad light! If I were these citizens, I'd be even more suspicious of Legion now than I was before I was trying to kill them!

A group of Legionnaires have decided to travel to the planet in the center of the Federation to investigate the power outage. The group is composed of Cosmic Boy whose role is to shout orders, Lightning Lass whose role is to power the ship, Shrinking Violet whose role is to question orders, and Shadow Lass whose role is to constantly point out how much shit they're in. It sounds like they have all the important jobs covered, so it's time to see how everyone is doing on Rimbor.

Rimbor's a total loss and Chameleon Boy, Ultra Boy and Glorith ditch it to head to Glorith's homeworld for some advice from her Magic School Teacher.

Back on Earth, Dream Girl is no help because her power has a major problem.

How many Legion Man Hours are spent researching whether her dream was simply a nightmare about her teeth falling out or a prophecy that they were all going to die from radiation sickness? You suck, Dream Girl.

Still another group of Legion members were fiddling about on the "organic stone" skin of a Promethean Giant. This group was composed of Phantom Girl whose main tactical advantage in battle is to not be hurt, Polar Boy whose possibly the most useful in this group since Sun Boy has been eaten, and Invisible Kid whose main tactical advantage in battle is to not be seen. I have a feeling this group wasn't on a mission in which they thought they'd have to do battle. Perhaps they were on an interplanetary mission of Hide and Seek?

Goddammit! They weren't cannibals! Just like eating a dolphin wouldn't make you a cannibal, Polar Boy! It would make you a dick though. So these aliens were dicks! But they weren't fucking cannibals!

The Promethean Giant they're on must be ticklish because it almost kills them with its giant finger when they start walking about. Good thing they can go intangible! Well, good thing one of them can go intangible! The other two guys are fucked.

Back on Earth, Dream Girl is going to be really sorry she spent all that time having sex with Star Boy instead of dreaming a dream that might have prevented what happens next.

Oh, he'll be okay. The one guy you don't have to worry about when a building falls on him is the guy that can change the density of the building that fell on him.

And finally it turns out that Tharok is controlling the Promethean Giant.

Legion of Super-heroes #18 Rating: No change. Another boring issue. I really liked the last issue a lot and now it just went back to the erratic pacing of a half dozen uninteresting stories. Because there are so many characters to follow and so many threads, the pacing is really important in a book like this. While the creative team nailed it last issue, this issue was just too many boring threads of everybody dealing with having no power. I was almost a fan last issue, Legion! You almost landed me! But I fought too hard and got away. Good luck getting me to fall for your bait a third time. I'm pretty sure last time was only the second time I almost liked the Legion of Super-heroes!

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