Ah! There's my boy!
Hitman #17 (June 25, 1997)
By Garth Ennis, John McCrea, Carla Feeny, and Willie Schubert
Cover by John McCrea
Edited by Peter Tomasi and Dan Raspler
I loved Etrigan so much in the '90s that I hunted down the first eight issues of Jack Kirby's Demon. That sentence just sounds like something people normally do so the impact I expected it to have isn't self-contained and probably needs more explanation. Right now, readers are just going, "Yeah, mate. That's what you fucking do. You like a character and you want to read more of them. What's your stupid fucking point? You're like the walking embodiment of Macbeth's final two lines of his 'Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow' soliloquy!" Ouch, imaginary reader! Anyway, it was a big deal for me to hunt down old comics because I mostly couldn't stand them. They were just too different from "modern" comics. And I couldn't abide difference in any form: movies, clothing, food, people. Give me the same meal with the same three friends and one pair of Levi jeans in a stupid logo t-shirt and I'm pretty fucking happy. But I needed more Etrigan! And guess what? Trying something different didn't kill me! Jack Kirby's visuals were like a foreign language to me. As far away from '80s style as I could imagine. Plus I wound up owning Klarion the Witch Boy's first appearance so I'm waiting for him and Teekl to make a big splash on the big screen so I can be fucking rich. Sure, I could have already been super wealthy from selling The Walking Dead #1 but I sort of missed the peak on selling that shit, right? Nobody cares about The Walking Dead anymore. Right? I can probably wipe my ass with that first issue now. Right? Please tell me I didn't make a huge mistake after that really messy shit last week. please?!
Just fell out of the rhythm of writing this blog post because YouTube's algorithm offered me up a short video of Henry Rollins describing his history with Nick Cave and I was all, "Yes, please!" And that's how I discovered And the Ass Saw the Angel by Nick Cave was published in America by Henry Rollins' publishing company. I should probably get around to reading that. I've owned it for so fucking long!
I wonder if I searched my blog for And the Ass Saw the Angel, I'd discover that I already discovered this information years ago and promptly forgot it? Most of the time when people ask me, "Did you know whatever?", I usually respond with, "It sounds familiar. I probably knew it at one point but my brain tossed the knowledge out almost immediately in favor of remembering another commercial jingle it just heard."
Tommy, Natt, Tiegel, Catwoman, and Jason Blood have been trapped inside a church by Mawzir and his Gotham criminal henchmen. Neither side seems to be able to get the upper hand so Tommy and his crew are probably going to need some outside help on this one. You're thinking, based on the cover, their savior will be Etrigan. But Garth Ennis has another idea in store. A really, really stupid idea!
By Garth Ennis, John McCrea, Carla Feeny, and Willie Schubert
Cover by John McCrea
Edited by Peter Tomasi and Dan Raspler
I loved Etrigan so much in the '90s that I hunted down the first eight issues of Jack Kirby's Demon. That sentence just sounds like something people normally do so the impact I expected it to have isn't self-contained and probably needs more explanation. Right now, readers are just going, "Yeah, mate. That's what you fucking do. You like a character and you want to read more of them. What's your stupid fucking point? You're like the walking embodiment of Macbeth's final two lines of his 'Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow' soliloquy!" Ouch, imaginary reader! Anyway, it was a big deal for me to hunt down old comics because I mostly couldn't stand them. They were just too different from "modern" comics. And I couldn't abide difference in any form: movies, clothing, food, people. Give me the same meal with the same three friends and one pair of Levi jeans in a stupid logo t-shirt and I'm pretty fucking happy. But I needed more Etrigan! And guess what? Trying something different didn't kill me! Jack Kirby's visuals were like a foreign language to me. As far away from '80s style as I could imagine. Plus I wound up owning Klarion the Witch Boy's first appearance so I'm waiting for him and Teekl to make a big splash on the big screen so I can be fucking rich. Sure, I could have already been super wealthy from selling The Walking Dead #1 but I sort of missed the peak on selling that shit, right? Nobody cares about The Walking Dead anymore. Right? I can probably wipe my ass with that first issue now. Right? Please tell me I didn't make a huge mistake after that really messy shit last week. please?!
Just fell out of the rhythm of writing this blog post because YouTube's algorithm offered me up a short video of Henry Rollins describing his history with Nick Cave and I was all, "Yes, please!" And that's how I discovered And the Ass Saw the Angel by Nick Cave was published in America by Henry Rollins' publishing company. I should probably get around to reading that. I've owned it for so fucking long!
I wonder if I searched my blog for And the Ass Saw the Angel, I'd discover that I already discovered this information years ago and promptly forgot it? Most of the time when people ask me, "Did you know whatever?", I usually respond with, "It sounds familiar. I probably knew it at one point but my brain tossed the knowledge out almost immediately in favor of remembering another commercial jingle it just heard."
Tommy, Natt, Tiegel, Catwoman, and Jason Blood have been trapped inside a church by Mawzir and his Gotham criminal henchmen. Neither side seems to be able to get the upper hand so Tommy and his crew are probably going to need some outside help on this one. You're thinking, based on the cover, their savior will be Etrigan. But Garth Ennis has another idea in store. A really, really stupid idea!
I got on Guice's case for modelling Tangent Superman on Clyde the orangutan so I should probably dunk on McCrea for basing Sixpack on a pug.
Although why would I dunk on McCrea for that?! It's perfect work! A+ rendering of a pug in human form! I can practically smell it!
I'm glad my friend Daniel Justice doesn't read this blog or I'd probably have to grovel at his feet and apologize profusely for comparing pugs to Sixpack. It's been almost 30 years since I compared the Golden Girls to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse when we went to see Alien: Resurrection and I still don't think he's forgiven me for it!
True Story (is this a regular bit now?! And are all my previous stories not preceded by "True Story" now suspect?!): When Daniel was at the University of Northern Colorado, he read my story, "A Really Scary Story", at a Halloween event in which Connie Willis was in attendance. So a Hugo Award winner once had to sit and listen to my bullshit for at least five minutes. Seriously, though, I hope she found it funny! I mean scary!
While Tommy tries to stay alive by shooting dozens of guys in their faces, he's having an argument with Jason Blood about maybe helping the situation by calling in his yellow friend. Maybe "helping" is he wrong word. Perhaps "changing" is better. Or "dumping gasoline all over everything and lighting a fart near it" is the exact phrase I was looking for. Jason Blood, realizing the situation is more desperate than asking Etrigan for help retrieving the Ace of Winchesters from Hell, agrees to say his cute little poem.
I'm glad my friend Daniel Justice doesn't read this blog or I'd probably have to grovel at his feet and apologize profusely for comparing pugs to Sixpack. It's been almost 30 years since I compared the Golden Girls to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse when we went to see Alien: Resurrection and I still don't think he's forgiven me for it!
True Story (is this a regular bit now?! And are all my previous stories not preceded by "True Story" now suspect?!): When Daniel was at the University of Northern Colorado, he read my story, "A Really Scary Story", at a Halloween event in which Connie Willis was in attendance. So a Hugo Award winner once had to sit and listen to my bullshit for at least five minutes. Seriously, though, I hope she found it funny! I mean scary!
While Tommy tries to stay alive by shooting dozens of guys in their faces, he's having an argument with Jason Blood about maybe helping the situation by calling in his yellow friend. Maybe "helping" is he wrong word. Perhaps "changing" is better. Or "dumping gasoline all over everything and lighting a fart near it" is the exact phrase I was looking for. Jason Blood, realizing the situation is more desperate than asking Etrigan for help retrieving the Ace of Winchesters from Hell, agrees to say his cute little poem.
Technically, "Yes. Yes. Yyeeeesss!!", rhymes. But, to quote Alexander Pope, "It's a pretty arse poem."
The firefight at the church has attracted the attention of the Gotham police so they come screaming in, sirens blaring, doughnut farts filling their cars. But they never quite make it because they run into Judge Mawzir.
I already dig the way he looks and now he's killing cops? Can I admit to a favorite character decorated with swastikas?!
Etrigan currently doesn't rhyme which is why his "Yes. Yes. Yyeeeesss!!" poem was so terrible. He currently doesn't have the passion for it. That's because Jason Blood has torn out Etrigan's heart to keep in a little box in his jacket pocket with "Pocket Pussy" written in biro on a piece of masking tape slapped across the top. Perhaps getting his heart back is the reward for finding the Ace of Winchesters in Hell. It would explain why he was more excited than a hot dog in a ketchup factory. That was a dumb joke that doesn't make any sense but I just wanted to make it seem like hot dogs love ketchup to piss of any Chicagoans reading this.
True Story: I have been to Chicago once. I never left Midway International. I spent four hours there napping and needing to shit. I had lunch at a place in the terminal that sold hotdogs but was afraid to purchase one because I don't do mustard. Or relish. Or onions. I only do ketchup. I was afraid they would mock me and possibly beat the shit out of me. So I had a shitty chicken sandwich and fries instead.
Speaking of hotdogs, apparently one is ruling Hell right now:
True Story: I have been to Chicago once. I never left Midway International. I spent four hours there napping and needing to shit. I had lunch at a place in the terminal that sold hotdogs but was afraid to purchase one because I don't do mustard. Or relish. Or onions. I only do ketchup. I was afraid they would mock me and possibly beat the shit out of me. So I had a shitty chicken sandwich and fries instead.
Speaking of hotdogs, apparently one is ruling Hell right now:
BAYTOR!
I was kind of surprised that Baytor and Section Eight are getting set up so soon but then I realized that by the time this story arc is over, the series will be 1/3 of the way through its entire run. Which tracks but, man, it feels like a lot has happened in just 17 issues already!
Tiegel and Tommy discuss their relationship during the gunfight because what else are they going to do while they casually murder criminals trying to murder them? Mostly their relationship consists of Tiegel getting drunk and trying to fuck Tommy and Tommy going, "Um, love to but maybe when you're sober?" Now I don't know if Tiegel is upset because he didn't fuck her or because she thinks he did fuck her and took advantage of her. Is this one of those scenarios where she finds out he did the right thing and then she won't be able to stop sitting on his face?
During a lull in the siege, Sixpack shows up with a broken bottle to save the day. Except he just shits himself and almost dies. Unless he shit himself before he even got to the church. Tommy saves his ass and Sixpack escapes but threatens to come back with his team. Back in August of 1997, nobody knew what that meant just yet. I'm not even sure if Garth Ennis had established himself enough at this point, at least in America, for everybody to understand what we'd all take for granted now: when Garth has a really fucked up character say they're going to get some friends, those friends are going to be more fucked up than you could have imagined. Was this the first time we were treated to this? Or had Garth already showed these cards in Preacher?
The issue ends with Mawzir pulling The Return of the Living Dead "Send more cops" trick. So next issue should be real clusterfuck with demons from Hell, Gotham criminals, tons of cops, and Section Eight. I'm so excited!
The Ranking!
This series is so good already and we having even gotten to the SAS story arc! One thing I have noticed is that in not wanting to make Tommy seem like one of those bad-ass killers that can defeat anybody or anyone, Garth has maybe relied on Tommy getting lucky a few too many times. He keeps battling people and demons that have him outclassed and he, self-admittedly, gets lucky. A lot! I don't think I mind as much as I might if he were being written by a worse writer because we are watching him grow. Especially in his planning and plotting. Early on when he was hellbent on avenging Pat, he just thought going in guns blazing would get the job done. And he got lucky against Johnny Navarone that time when he fired off a wild shot and just happened to blow Johnny's gun hand to shreds. He tells Catwoman that he got lucky against Mawzir the first time they fought. But now he seems to understand when he's the underdog so he's not taking chances. He knows he can't kill Mawzir and he won't get lucky again. So he's building a team, making a plan, and crossing his fingers that Etrigan won't fuck it all up. So, okay, he's still relying on a bit of luck!
Man, I think Tommy just gets lucky against the SAS dudes too. Or is that when he's killed? No, no! Don't tell me! I want to be re-surprised all over again! Sometimes it's good to have a brain that doesn't remember art and important things and the names of people you love because it's overflowing with Mormon commercial jingles and Schoolhouse Rock songs! Because now I get to be surprised by this series a second time!
Tiegel and Tommy discuss their relationship during the gunfight because what else are they going to do while they casually murder criminals trying to murder them? Mostly their relationship consists of Tiegel getting drunk and trying to fuck Tommy and Tommy going, "Um, love to but maybe when you're sober?" Now I don't know if Tiegel is upset because he didn't fuck her or because she thinks he did fuck her and took advantage of her. Is this one of those scenarios where she finds out he did the right thing and then she won't be able to stop sitting on his face?
During a lull in the siege, Sixpack shows up with a broken bottle to save the day. Except he just shits himself and almost dies. Unless he shit himself before he even got to the church. Tommy saves his ass and Sixpack escapes but threatens to come back with his team. Back in August of 1997, nobody knew what that meant just yet. I'm not even sure if Garth Ennis had established himself enough at this point, at least in America, for everybody to understand what we'd all take for granted now: when Garth has a really fucked up character say they're going to get some friends, those friends are going to be more fucked up than you could have imagined. Was this the first time we were treated to this? Or had Garth already showed these cards in Preacher?
The issue ends with Mawzir pulling The Return of the Living Dead "Send more cops" trick. So next issue should be real clusterfuck with demons from Hell, Gotham criminals, tons of cops, and Section Eight. I'm so excited!
The Ranking!
This series is so good already and we having even gotten to the SAS story arc! One thing I have noticed is that in not wanting to make Tommy seem like one of those bad-ass killers that can defeat anybody or anyone, Garth has maybe relied on Tommy getting lucky a few too many times. He keeps battling people and demons that have him outclassed and he, self-admittedly, gets lucky. A lot! I don't think I mind as much as I might if he were being written by a worse writer because we are watching him grow. Especially in his planning and plotting. Early on when he was hellbent on avenging Pat, he just thought going in guns blazing would get the job done. And he got lucky against Johnny Navarone that time when he fired off a wild shot and just happened to blow Johnny's gun hand to shreds. He tells Catwoman that he got lucky against Mawzir the first time they fought. But now he seems to understand when he's the underdog so he's not taking chances. He knows he can't kill Mawzir and he won't get lucky again. So he's building a team, making a plan, and crossing his fingers that Etrigan won't fuck it all up. So, okay, he's still relying on a bit of luck!
Man, I think Tommy just gets lucky against the SAS dudes too. Or is that when he's killed? No, no! Don't tell me! I want to be re-surprised all over again! Sometimes it's good to have a brain that doesn't remember art and important things and the names of people you love because it's overflowing with Mormon commercial jingles and Schoolhouse Rock songs! Because now I get to be surprised by this series a second time!
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