Sunday, June 12, 2016

Robin, Son of Batman #12


You know, it's been quite awhile since a hero was swallowed whole to explode out of the stomach of their attacker!

The Review!
Damian and his reflection battle with the entire world up for grabs. In the process, Damian learns that he's already learned everything that needs to be learned about family. He knows parents argue, pets are better than people, and cute girls in tattered dresses are the best kind of friends to have. He also remembers that he was once a terror, so maybe if he can take his evil reflection under his wing, he'll be able to teach him to not need his parents' approval too. Damian seems to have found a place where he can accept the relationship he has with his mother and father, and accept that they'll continue to argue and beat the shit out of each other on a fairly regular basis, and that none of that has anything to do with him or how much he loves each of them. He also realizes he can keep them both at arm's length because they're so annoying and he will probably go off on his own to form a team of kid superheroes.

The Commentary!
Last issue, everybody was headed to Dinosaur Island. That's the island that has dinosaurs where Superboy and Wonder Girl engaged in some really awkward flirting. Unless I mean disgusting when I say awkward. If you don't remember it, let me remind you in an inexact but probably close to the truth reenactment.

Superboy: (punching Wonder Girl in the face) "You're so cute!"
Wonder Girl: (kicking Superboy in the balls) "I hate you but I'm so wet!"
Superboy: (choking Wonder Girl) "If I didn't dislike you so much I would totally do it with you!"
Wonder Girl: (knocking out Superboy's teeth) "I would never do you in a million years even though I totally want to because you're so hot!"
Superboy: (orgasming in his pants) "I'm tired of fighting now, you whore!"
Wonder Girl: (not quite reaching orgasm) "You're such a typical guy, you bastard!"

Now that's how you force a romantic subplot into existence!

I don't think there will be a romantic subplot this time around on Dinosaur Island. Damian and Maya should just remain friends and Batman and Talia will totally remain enemies. So unless Titus has hitched a ride and winds up humping somebody's leg, this is probably going to be a violence only issue. Darn! I always like sex and violence together! That's a better match than chocolate and peanut butter.

Naimad and Maya arrive on Dinosaur Island first. But that was six hours ago and they're early because the ritual to end the world doesn't begin until midnight. That gives Damian and his family plenty of time to get to the island and the "NOW" narration box.


See? Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!

Maya has been turned into a booty trap. I know it's booby trap but she doesn't have any boobies yet. Batman remains behind to disarm her while Damian and Talia rush off to stop Naimad from doing whatever he has to do to end the world.

The ritual takes place at the bottom of a volcano. That's because there's some kind of Lazarus Well inside the volcano that reaches to the center of the Earth and keeps the dinosaurs on dinosaur island from dying. But apparently if you throw a goofy eyeball into it, it will erupt and destroy all life on Earth. Who built that feature into the Lazarus Well? That just sounds like trouble. And now it is because Damian fails to stop the ritual. Hopefully there's a second part of the ritual that can still be stopped or else this disaster might be the reason the DC You needed a Rebirth.

There doesn't seem to be any more to the ritual but there's still enough time left for Naimad to stop it if Damian can convince him that his father doesn't love him because he waited so long to bring Naimad back from the dead. Although how would Naimad know how much time had passed since he died? Wouldn't it just seem like he woke up from a short nap?


It's probably a good thing he didn't add "My father resurrected me almost immediately!"

Naimad has no confidence in his plan and is easily talked out of it at the last minute by Damian. His father may or may not have loved him but he certainly doesn't love him now, the little failure! After Naimad believes he's made a friend in Damian, Damian punches him in the face and knocks him out. I don't know if the rational side was from his dad or the punching side was! Maybe both parts were a little bit Talia and a little bit Bruce.

Speaking of Bruce and Talia, they have a nice bitter ex argument after the day is saved which drives Damian into the arms of a monster. Oh, and Goliath too!

Talia plans to keep Naimad for her own nefarious al Ghul purposes but Damian has other plans. Those plans are breaking him free and teaching him to be his sidekick. Those plans will also take place in the final issue next month.

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