Batman and Robin #40

Please let something take over Aquaman's mind so that Damian can kick his ass!

Does everybody have their tear bibs on?! I feel an emotionally powerful father-son moment in the next twenty pages of comic book goodness! If I were a good writer, I would write about the time when I was thirteen years old and my father took me on a trip up to his sister's house up in the mountains outside of Truckee for a week. I'd talk about how he tried a number of times, out under the stars, to have a heart to heart talk with me about...well, who the fuck can remember? I just felt awkward and weird and didn't really have much to say. Years later, I look back on that trip and think that, quite possibly, he was trying to say goodbye to me. He had been an alcoholic for many years and his life was really falling apart. Either he felt he wasn't going to live much longer or, possibly, he had been contemplating suicide. Then again, having never asked him about the trip, it's possible he was just up there to score as much weed as possible from Cousin Bill (his nephew). At one point while at Bill's place, Cousin Troy (Bill's brother) stole one of Bill's Penthouse magazines while my dad and Bill were in a back room smoking pot. Before leaving Truckee, I stole the Penthouse from Troy and perused it for many years afterward. Porn was hard to come by back then and this was a major find! Although, come to find out later, it was child pornography. That was the Penthouse magazine that featured Traci Lords when she was sixteen. Luckily I was younger than she was so I don't think it was as illegal to own as all the other perverts who owned it! I threw it out (along with all of my other random porn magazines) when I went to college at seventeen. Because college! Who needs porn in college?! Only nerds and losers, that's who!

And, as it turns out, I did. Stupid college.

Um, anyway, the Justice League have found their way to Ghost Island which is under attack by one of the enemies of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.

Oh Superman! That only works for Billy!

While Robin battles the reject from an episode of Ultraman, he learns that he has heat vision like Superman! Well, not like Superman since Superman's heat vision comes from the solar energy stored in the vitreous humors in his eyeballs. Robin's heat vision must be the first inkling of an Omega Beam since his powers are from Apokolips. Robin slices off one of the monster's fists and then begins using the fist to punch the monster in the face because Damian is ten years old. There's nothing funnier to a ten year old than making somebody hit themselves with their own fist! Although the creature must regrow its hand or take it away from Damain and reattach it since a few panels later when it vomits pink puke on everyone, it's got both hands.

While the adults are gagging on monster vomit, Billy and Damian finish the monstrous robot off by shoving a radio tower through its head and calling down magic lightning to fry it.

Tomorrow's headlines: Captain Marvel: Childlike Man or Man to Keep Away From Your Child?

You know, I can still recall, clear as day in my mind's eye, some of the photos of Traci Lords from that Penthouse. Is that illegal?!

It turns out Batman set up this whole Monster Island fight to try to drain Robin of his powers. It was just a video game simulation with Cyborg controlling the robot. Is this the first time we really get to see Victor's love of video games? I guess Robin doesn't have super-hearing because he didn't hear Batman discuss the plan with the others while Robin waited in the back seat of the Batplane.

Back at Wayne Manor, Damian scarfs down a ton of food and passes out giving Alfred and Bruce some time alone to figure out what the fuck they are going to do with this kid.

I was just going to scan the bottom half of the page but then I wouldn't have a record of the finished family portrait which they all posed for so many issues ago.

The next morning, Damian wakes up and immediately gets a paper cut. Just like when Superman was human for the day! I guess paper cuts are shorthand for "this motherfucker ain't got no more motherfuckin' powers, bitches!" The second thing he does is fall out of the second story window trying to fly. Just like Superman 3000 from Justice League 3000! I guess falling out of a window because you thought you could fly is shorthand for "stupid dumb idiot moron!"

Bruce and Damian have one of those stupid father-son heart to heart talks that I've never experienced because I wasn't really paying attention when my father tried to have one with me that time I mentioned earlier. My dad was all, "Life...you know?" And then he lit a cigarette and I fidgeted uncomfortably while gazing at the stars through the tall trees. Then he was all, "Do you have any questions about it or anything?" And I kicked some pine cones and dry thistles and muttered, "No," while thinking, "I wonder what they're watching on television inside?" And then my dad probably asked me if I knew he loved me and I probably turned red and said, "Yeah." And then we sat in silence while he finished his cigarette before we headed back inside. Those heart to heart talks are stupid.

Bruce asks Damian if it's so bad that he's just Damian now and Damian says, "I guess not." Of course Damian guesses not! Damian already thinks Damian is the greatest super hero that ever lived, powers or no powers!

But then the Bat Signal interrupts and it's time for the Dynamic Duo to hit the streets yet again! Nobody hugs anybody but Batman does kind of freak Robin out by smiling like a lunatic while swinging around the city. And that's it!

Batman and Robin #40 Rating: +1 Ranking. It's interesting that this comic book ends right when the dynamic between this duo is finally at the most Batman and Robinesque of the entire series. This final page:

shows them finally comfortable and content with each other (and kind of Batman '66ish, no?). Batman is happy to have his son back with him, alive and normal. Damian is just as excited as he was on all of the early covers of this series where he's grinning ear to ear because he gets to go out and fight crime side by side with his dad. Throughout the beginning of the series, Batman was afraid he was going to lose Robin to Robin's al Ghul side. He was afraid to trust his son. Then he lost Damian when Damian proved himself to be as heroic as Batman had hoped he would be: learning that his son had the heart of a hero, learning that he could be allowed to trust his son, to have faith in his son's decisions, came at the expense of his son's life. Batman was nearly inconsolable having gained the son he knew Damian could be too late. And then once he brought Damian back to life, he had to contend with Damian's super powers. But they were actually a gift. They were a kind of litmus test to see if the lessons Damian learned while not having super powers stuck. And so Batman tested him on Ghost Island to find that his son could follow orders, and could maintain control of even Superman level powers, and could work well as a team with even somebody as annoying as Shazam (okay, that was a cheap shot. I would actually like to see a lot more of Billy and Damian hanging out together). And with Damian's powers now gone, Batman can finally feel happy and relaxed, having faith that his son will make him proud no matter what. In the end, Batman learned his son was actually a pretty good fucking kid. And, holy shit, that's kind of what my dad said to me that time in Truckee! That he was happy that I'd turned into a really neat and interesting person and that I was a pretty good kid.

Pshaw! As if he knew any better! I was about to steal Troy's Penthouse!