Batwing #24

We're not off to a good start here, Batwing.

I know, I know! A lot of you are ruining your underwear about this cover. I'm sure you're turning to your friends and saying, "I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! I CAN'T EVEN!" simply to show your appreciation for advertising images from the Art Deco Period which, I think, was around the Civil War era when air travel really became popular. Just look at the clean lines and the limited palette! All that's missing is big block letters saying VISIT.

Oh fuck you. It's actually a pretty nice cover. But this comic book has been so boring lately, it needs something to really draw me in! Like a marine in plate armor battling dragons during a lightning storm on a high cliff surrounded by lava and spewing fire demons!

At the end of last issue, Batwing had been thrown from the top of a building by Lady Vic. Normally this wouldn't be a problem because his name is Batwing which fucking implies that he has the mechanisms and the capability to save himself. But his system shorted out and he's fucking useless without the suit. Every other fucking super hero in Gotham City would be fine because they all carry Batgrapples. But Batwing? Nope. Why would he need that old fashioned technology? He's got a super suit!

This is a good lesson to be learned. For the next Batwing!

Batwing manages to survive with minimal injury to his dignity. Maybe when all of the embarrassing footage winds up on YouTube, it'll be mislabeled as "Batman." Batwing gets his shit together and goes home to lick his wounds while Lady Vic decides to stay in town for a week to hunt him down.

For some reason, Batwing referred to Lady Vic as "Mary Psycho Poppins." She doesn't remind me of Mary Poppins at all! She must have the same accent. Or smell.

Luke's ex Zena is waiting for him when he finally gets home in the morning because her dad died and she's horny. I think that's one of those good news/bad news situations television and movies continue to insist actually happen. Usually it's just bad news and worse news. Although I guess bad news and worse news can be thought of as bad news and better news, if you flip them around! Although if your parents died in a house fire, "your childhood home burned to the ground" just doesn't quite come off as "better news." Maybe you can spin the destroyed house into good news by saying, "Look at it this way. At least you and your siblings won't fight over the house leading to a falling out that causes bitterness and resentment and writing each other out of your lives until the day you die, regretful and ashamed with no loving family at your side!"

The next day, Luke contacts Batman because he needs to get into the lab to fix his suit. Batman asks him what happens and Luke mentions he had his ass handed to him by a blonde from East London. That's all the Great Detective needs to know to peg her as Lady Vic! He's such a genius. Even though he's being written to be a genius, I'm still suitably impressed. Mostly because I don't know how fiction works.

Luke manages to retool the Batwing Armor because he's also a genius. Or he took "Advanced Batwing Suit Engineering" in college. Maybe it's just in his DNA. Hopefully he remembered to add a manual Batgrapple.

Well shit. I guess he did take "Advanced Batwing Suit Engineering."

After Luke makes nice with his mom, he goes after Lady Vic (as evidenced in that scan above!). He finds her lounging about in her underwear and unloads his batspunk all over her face. No, seriously.

Oh yeah! Now I see the resemblance to Mary Poppins!

Batwing's batspunk is loaded with fear toxins and truth serum. It incapacitates Lady Vic and she blabs everything she knows. Turns out "Charlie" was the gangster known as Caligula, the one behind the Marabunta and the man that tried to kidnap Lion's Mane and the boss of Atticus Fontaine who tried to convince Bruce Wayne to sell the diamond mine. In other words, he's the guy behind everything that has happened so far since Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti took over writing duties. And, of course, Batman knows the jerk.

And now Batwing gets to go to Rome! As they say in Rome, "Ha cha cha cha cha!" But first, next month is Zero Year. Which seems like a total waste since it's probably going to be about David Zavimbe and who cares about that quitting chump anymore?

Batwing #24 Rating: No change although I enjoyed this issue much more! Maybe Luke is growing on me or maybe I'm delirious. Or maybe it actually was better! It's hard to tell when you're dealing with art which details are objective and which are subjective. I suppose I should, like every other American, simply trust that my opinion is absolutely objective and move on!